tourist on the best peaks and in the way..

Just slowly paddle up to them, whisper in their ear, "damn that's a good tan", then paddle around them in the smallest circle possible, and then gently massage their shoulders while singing Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get it On". If that doesn't scare the **** out of the tourists then they are way too weird for the water and in that case you should just get the hell out of there.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGuLbf-qUYk


tell em why your mad son. its better than doing it on a surf site where everyone feels the same way, but noone wants to hear you reiterate it.

 

one of the negatives about summer. My home break is a pier within sight of the freeway, so tourists flock to it in summer. It's also the only ridable break within miles

 

BAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA oh man that **** was hilarious!!! well played !!! KOOK PARADISE !!!

 

To avoid legal issues, bribe a grom or have your kid run them over. It's great sport for them, and after the carnage is over you get to surf on an uncluttered peak.

 

Paintball!!!

 

see, this is exactly why i sharpen my fins......

 

Kenny fvcking Powers FTW.

 

Tell them that to be 'real surfers' they must read everything posted by emassspicoli, banman, njshredmachine & trevolution. Anyone reading that volume of drivel will never be seen again.

Your break, is saved.

 

Its actually quite simple. People who don't surf are in the way because they don't understand waves, surfing, etc. This lack of understanding makes most people ignorant to the sport of surfing. For example, more main stream sports (football, basketball, baseball, etc) have a bigger following and thus understand the rules, etiquette etc. People understand that you wouldn't just stand under a basketball goal in the middle of a game if you weren't playing, nor would you stand on home plate with a fastball being thrown, nor would you stand in the middle of a football field while an NFL game is taking place. However, people seem to be oblivious to a to the peak of a wave, or an inside section that you about to smash. I know it sucks, but this is the answer to your question

 

Dang Blaster of Ye Sand, you have this problem quite often.

Dude, change your vibe. Approach them in a wayyyyyy too friendly manner. Start talking aboot all the drugs you just ingested(make sure you mention PCP, people are scared of PCP), and talk aboot uncomfortable topics. Keep touching their shoulders.

Start talking aboot celebrities like an insane stalker. "" Hey do you know Jennifer Lopez's phone number....Ahhhh I can't find it and she wanted me to call her aboot filming a German porongraphy movie. OH, Garey Busey came over last Friday and he made love to me.......twice. He's a beautiful man........." Just keep going from there.......

They'll move. Trust me, they"ll move far away from you. Oh, dribble saliva down your face and do a farmers nose blow. Tell them that you're getting happy in pants.........and you don't know why.

Of course this works best when dealing with small groups of 2,3,4..............

 

wow, what an honor to be grouped with the great njshredmachine. I can only hope to be as great as him one day.

 

hey sandblaster,what state do u live in?most of the tourists are gone by this time of year.i was out yesterday,saw 1 surfer at the spot I wanted to surf.so I went down to the next jetty 50yds up the beach and surfed some gnarly shorebreak by myself.i did a cartwheel head first into dry sand and washed up naked.the old people were loving it.i havnt seen any peaks in a while,just a bunch of long lines of closeouts u can take off on for a quarter second and the whole thing closes out.its still fun,i try to avoid the crowds

 

How about just making a sign explaining how to avoid surfers and placing it around where they park. and somebody to pass out brochures.

 

Scream like a Banshee when you take off on the wave and keep screaming all the way down the wave. And spray them on a big turn
Ha Ha

 

hahha. thats a great strategy. ive worn a speedo also and that gave me a peak to myself. believe it or not they are really nice to surf in but when you do a big cutback everyone is throwing up when they see my hairy ass in their face. try a blue speedo along with Paddington bear's suggestions and youll be ok

 

I don't care how old it is, I just want yankee to talk more sh*t about me

 

All ya need for this is a couple of shirts that say F@ck Off or die.
It's great for my old lady matching shirts n all.
Everyone will stay the hell away which is good for her since she's a beginner. Lol