What's the weirdest thing you've ever seen at the beach while surfing?

Two stories, both were in the late 70's,

1) Went for a early d/p, looked at the surf clean waist high at best, looked north up the beach same, looked south and low a behold, a bale, yes folks you read it right, a square grouper, and nobody around, loaded it up and went to easy street for a while.

2) Way back when, we were able to drive the dune line in Florida, with that being said, my brother an I decided to run the dune line in search of a nice sandbar with waves, we were out in the middle of no where and when I mean nowhere, 5 miles on either side of us was nothing, all of a sudden this guy comes out of the bushes and approached my brother with a proposition...he wanted to...well, use your imagination...my brother being a pretty hot tempered dude started screaming and slapping the hell out of this dude, and me, on the beach laughing my arse off, bet that homo wont do that again....true stories.

 

This thread can end *right now*, WE HAVE A WINNER.

Only in Florida, right? Awesome.

 

Jacksonville beach, about two months ago. I was long boarding knee high waves out of pure boredom. Two kayakers paddle by, nothing out of the ordinary. Until a huge, I mean huge, like two foot long lizard pops out of the kayak. She said its a "monitor" or something, but that was easily the last thing I expected to see while surfing that day. I never thought people had two foot long lizards as pets, let alone took them out for kayak rides...

 

It ended up being 80lbs., it was not uncommon back then, many of them found back then, the kicker to the story is, I had the coolest mom ever, I was 19 and still living at home, I told her that I had found one and it was in the trunk of my car, she got pretty nervous about it, but told me when it gets dark get that stuff in the garage. My mom, god rest her soul, let me dry part of the bale that got wet so there was like 30 lbs. spread across the garage floor, what a sight....oh the 70's were sweet

 

Pretty sweet nugs from heaven. Never got that lucky at the beach but every now and again we'd find a small crop of bud in and around farmers fields and take some free samples.

 

dream come true.
prob would have gotten 6 months in the can FOR JUST PICKING IT UP!!!

 

While walking to the beach in PB-SD in the late 90's near Harry's Surf Shop w/ our gear this dude wearing a home made deer head repleat w/ antlers, a gold lame' g-string and rollerskates cruises by. He sees my wife holding the camcorder we brought to tape our sesh with and whips around to give us the show. Perfectly tanned and shaved he proceeds w/ a full Dorothy Hamill program- spins, splits, forward, backward, and some other disco crap I couldn't explain right in the middle of the street. Had a lot of christmas tree faux icicles hanging from the antlers. Haven't seen that tape but maybe 1 time since and that dudes orange cheese butt may have been the most disgusting thing I have been made to witness, ever. Word was he was a local performance artist (?) and had quite a few different get-ups.

 

Some sort of fundamentalist family fun day at the beach. The two girls were swimming in the ocean wearing ankle length, long sleeved dresses that looked like nuns' habits, or something the Amish would wear. I wasn't vacationing in the middle east. This was North Carolina.

 

Years ago I lived in sunny Southern California, amongst the rabbits in Conejo Valley. I attended Maple Elementary School, which may have been the worst school in existence. Southern California public schools.....what can I say.

In 6th grade we got bused some ten minutes to some area at the edge of the Conejo Valley. We then traversed through the foothills, on foot, and some time later we arrived over the hills to a beach near Leo Carrillo, Arroyo Secos.

We were 6th graders from California in 1984 and we were cool. Totally cool. Some were so cool that they wore pink Izod shirts, listened to Oingo Boingo, had Kealla Kennely hair cuts, but still managed to act tuff. I of course, sported Iron Maiden T-shirts, Levi's button flys and a black Member's Only jacket.

We waged war over musical tastes there. No really we were segregated based on music. I was a proud "Hessian," who battled punks and new wave nancy boys.

Well, our beach sojourn happened to correspond with some mentally challenged behavioral center's annual, "Let's go to the beach day."

We were greeted, as we entered the state beach park by a smiling man, screaming, " Hello, Hello, Hello" at us with a deranged smile on his face. He wore Richard Simmons short-shorts, and his pen!s was hanging from beneath his shorts.

Renee W. and the rest of the girls were scared, but stoked.

Then we spent the next thirty minutes mingling with an assortment of characters that would make this forum community look like The Waltons.

My teacher, Mrs. Eaton, in my opinion, a complete moron who had no business teaching hampsters, sat and smiled. Dudes, these dudes could have been from The Camarillo State Hospital for the Criminally Insane for all she knew. I was scared for Cindy R because she was sweet.

It was a touching moment where normal, healthy, Californian 6th graders from Maple Elementary School, located in Newbury Park, Ca made friends with the mentally disadvantaged. Somebody should have done a Lifetime Television for Women movie aboot it.

Words can't paint the picture.

Oh brus, there was a b!tchen, two-foot shoredump going-off just offshore. Ah California, Sunkist, Cheyne Horan and nothing but Good Vibrations. Good good Good Vibrations. I can almost taste the Valley Girl innocence and splendor of 1980's California right now. There's a reason Jeff Spicoli is so b!tchen you know.

 

Encore! Encore!

 

were our forum 'the waltons' who would be who?

 

Well, I don't know much aboot The Waltons, but I'm thinking Seldom Seen should be John Boy.

 

THE WALTONS.....?!! jeez

This wasn't at a beach while surfing, but it did happen in the ocean & in between surf sessions. You decide if it fits the thread...

So I was in Cabarete, Dominican Republic. With a buddy of mine, Steve, crazy-good-times-guy, ex-AA shortstop for the O's organization, little dude tremendous athlete, scratch golfer, party friggin animal. I'm there to surf Encuentro & whatever, Steve's there to do as much of whatever as a man can possible cram into a 5-day tropical jaunt.

So we're hanging out one sunny afternoon in front of our hotel on the beach, in Cabarete, and I go for a swim in the tropical blue ocean cause it's getting hot. Steve stays in his lounge chair pounding Presidentes. I'm parked out in the ocean, chilling, when here up the beach comes this stunning DR chica in a blue bikini. Walking up the empty beach. Incredible body. Mocha. Long hair. Beautiful face, lips that are made for bidness. She's eyeballing me the whole way.

She turns when she's parallel to me & makes her way out into the ocean & says hello. We talk a little bit. Incredible vibe. Next thing you know: Houston, we have full contact. She says, "I like your skin color papi." Say no more.

We walk out of the surf & walk a direct line for the sliding glass door to my room.

Steve's watching this whole thing unfold from minute one. As we stroll by him, my hand on her firm, perfect culo, he starts spluttering, "no way, no effing way, wtf, no way!"

She glides into my room, I slide the door closed behind us & as she drops her bikini top, revealing two of Nature's impeccably finest creations, the rest is erotic intensity. I did leave the curtain open about a foot or so, so Steve could peer in & enjoy the action. Which, he did.

Ahhhhh, the DR.......you see waynetheinsaaane, there really is a gawd

 

Tomorrow, Natkitchen, tomorrow.

Oh fudge, I forgot to tell you guys aboot my experience with a dating website ad that's on here - maturedating.com or something. Girl in the ad had big breasts. Big breasts.

I have to do that one of these days. Good times...good times.

 

Wow, Yankee you're stud. Did you treat her badly afterwards?

 

Nah. Not necessary, she was a sweetie & smokin' and really good in the shower. The next morning, though, I told her I gotta go surf & she'd have to leave. The usual chica drama, she shed a few lil tears, clung to my strong arm, it's ok bebe, I'll call you later. I forgot to get her #....

 

tell the real ending Mr Bateman.

 

The freaky laughter heard is shaka utoolyou's own from his sticky keyboard in his mama's bathroom.
You can join your troll clown thread hijacker jagoffs: chucka boo boo, the gnome & now shaka utoolyou

 

Very nice Yankee, but you should have tag her again....with Steve....haha.

 

lol !....gracias, fl.surfdog, it was another helluva night in the DR....the next day, Steve-o took a chica shopping, bought her two pairs of shoes ($49 total) & his reward was her until the next morning....