People who don't like dogs have no souls

Dudes, dogs are the sh*t. Mine can f'ing tell time, no really, he can. He let's me know when it's time for dinner if i'm anymore than 5 minutes late (he gets fed same time every day). He let's me know when it's time for his walk, he starts letting me know about 5 minutes before it's time, circling in front of the door and coming back to sit right in front of me and gives me that look like "would you get your lazy a$$ up and take me out!".

He also tells me when it's time for bed by jumping on and off the couch starting at 10pm every night. I tell him to lay down, he does it for a minute and then hops back up and starts the cycle again until I finally say "ok time for bed" then he sprints up the stairs and goes to his bed and lays down and he will sleep through the entire night until the alarm goes off.

Funny thing is, he won't get up on the first alarm. He waits for me to go to the bathroom, then I crawl back in bed and "wake my wife up" and THEN he gets up and starts pacing back and forth until I get dressed to take him out. He'll paw at the door or anything around to let me know it's time. As soon as I'm dressed he starts circling around real fast and the second I open the door he sprints down the stairs and waits by the front door.

If I forget to give him a cookie afterwards he won't leave my side until I do remember. He'll be annoying till you finally realize "sh*t I didn't give you your cookie did I?" Dogs are hilarious....

 

Furry kids
You are so fury and so good.
You're furry good and you know
What way the winds blow
When you know.
How can you be so good
We want to know

Oh, dogs know so much more aboot the universe than we do. They just know. They can't really tell us because they don't speak English too well, but they have a special mind that allows them the understanding stupid humans will never have. See, humans are stupid because we think we are sophisticated animals as we have diarrhea and pick out noses.

People laugh at a dog licking himself, yet then they go out and have sex partners whip them and go to the bathroom on them. And they laugh and point at a dog who's doing a little testicle licking.

Dogs sit and watch us run around in a big hurry, like our daily activities actually mean something. And they sit and silently laugh at us poor fools. They know what the score is.

Seldom Seen is a friend of the dogs, and he is good.

 

My dog reads my mind too. I don't have to talk to him, looks and body language suffice. Like DP, he dictates the schedule, when to wake, eat, and sleep. He's my best and most loyal friend, thinks I'm amusing when I'm drunk, thinks my farts smell great, chills with me when I'm using the toilet, and is super excited to go with me anywhere. Even if it's just the corner store to pick up some brrrs. Most of all, he didn't hold a grudge when I let the vet take his balls.

 

Sometimes we take my dog to the beacch with us when i go surfing. When he sees me paddling back in he always swims out to meet me. Dude loves the water. Its an awesome sight

 

Kinda looks like a ridgeback protecting a fresh grave. Two very different movies could be based on this scene.