Trouble

Yeah, trouble is when it is your 4 year wedding anniversary and you decide to take a few hours off work that morning to surf. Yeah, that is trouble. Trouble is today. I even took off work early this afternoon, got a sitter, taking the wifey out to a nice dinner and some other stuff. Doesn't matter. She didn't look THAT pissed when I was leaving this morning, but when I returned, man, it got cold up in there. At work now, wondering if about 10 waves and a few chest high barrels in super clean conditions was worth pissing off the wife on our anniversary.... I mean, she should know better. We have an agreement about situations like this. It was part of the deal of moving here. But I suppose I should know better. I guess the anniversary is kind of off limits.

 

Nice... Congrats. I did lose my wedding ring the first day of our honey moon. FIRST SURF. I told her it felt too loose. I told her I wanted to take it off everytime I surfed, she insisted that I kept it on, even though I have had this conversation with dozens of other surfers, even on this site, and after 20 guys told me they have re-purchased like 3 replacement rings, I tried to tell her. It was pretty funny. Really expensive ring too. So, we ended up buying a silver ring on Front St. in Maui and it has this spinning middle piece with a wave pattern on it. It was supposed to be just until we got home and I got another one, but we both loved it and I have worn it every since. Means a lot more to me than just a really expensive, plain old band....

But, as far as the 4 year thing, I have been with her for 12 years total. I dragged to CA for 10 years and she had to put up with me surfing every day. The deal I made with her moving ANYWHERE back east, was that I obviously wouldn't surf as much, but when the opportunity presents itself, she has to let me go. I will deal with the work schedule, or making sure that my daughter is with my wife or at school, but part of the deal was that when there are waves here, albeit not very often, you gotta let the bird fly.

Usually she is cool about it. But that anniversary thing, really struck a nerve. But yeah, if there is something that goes on in a woman's head after year 12 or so of being with a guy, I would love to hear that advice.

 

Nice. Unfortunately, my father and I are the only surfers on either side of my or my wife's families. My wife surfs, but not very frequently. She will surf a few times each summer, when we are in HI or vacationing, but it's just not her thing. She spent too many years "watching", taking photos, probably "pretending to care".... But she does know the deal. It's all good. If there is surf, she knows I am going. She just probably thought for whatever reason, today, I would be different.

 

It depends on how you look at it. I met a girl out in the water today, because she recognized my board, OLE. We got to talking about, what brought you to HHI and stuff. She told me the story of how she met her Husband on a surf trip in CR, then they moved to Maui together for 15 years, then CA, then over here to HHI and on and on. Thats cool, but that is not how things go for a lot of us. My wife is the best, without a doubt. But when the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with doesn't have an interest in the thing you love to do the most, you gotta set boundaries, you gotta stand your ground sometimes, you have to listen, you have to understand and you have to make her understand sometimes. Call it mind games or whatever, but it happens. Yes, RI was correct in discussing that pre-marriage folks have an "OUT"... Yeah, back in the day, I could do what I want, say what I wanted, and there was no repercussions. I would like to think I was a gentleman for the most part and took part in a give and take thing forever.

I know a lot of guys on here, hear some of the husbands, fathers and stuff talk about taking some flack at home for suring, and other guys get on talking about, man, get a different woman, life shouldn't be like that. It's all a give and take.

And in this case, maybe I should have surfed longer yesterday and just skipped it today. My bad. But the waves were great, it was super fun, and it was probably the top 3 sessions I Have had all summer. Ohh well, life goes on. My wife loves to surf when she actually does, but she doesn't come out that much. If there is surf on a weekend or whatever, she would much rather be out at brunch with me and my daughter than at the beach surfing. I can't blame her. I mean, I would rather watch sports pretty much every night, but sometimes I sit there and have to suffer through the housewives of _________ and crap like that. I don't complain about it. I feel like it is me building up my karma for days like today.

 

Solid advice. Maybe I could take that to heart, but deep down, I feel that her and I do have a great relationship and we enjoy every day, every night together. We have a lot of fun. We are the 3 muskateers and all that, and I dedicate every second I am not at work or in the water to the family. Not trying to say I am entitled to do whatever I want because of that, but I don't feel like I take her for granted and I don't feel she takes me for that either.

There is a mild back story to this as well. My wife's fam bought a house right in our neighborhood. They just closed and everything on the house. Tomorrow, they are driving down to change the locks and do some work and spend the holiday weekend down here. So, my wife was supposed to work today. Last night, at like 7pm, she decided to tell the boss she was taking the day off. So, up until 7 last night, my wife was going to be at work by 8:30 and my daughter in school. I had a 4 hours morning sesh planned. She took off of work today, knowing that I still had to work, so she could clean the house all day. She is like a neat/clean machine. So, she basically shocked me last night by letting me know, ohh, I am not working tomorrow. That was I won't have to rush to get ready for dinner and I can spend some time on the house...... You can see where I am going with this. I even told her last night. She said, since you are taking off early from work tomorrow, are you going to go in early and work all morning? I said, nope, I am going to have my cake and eat it too. I will just go surfing, go to work and leave early.

Anyway, just saying, in my own defense, she threw a curve ball at me about even being home today, and there were some anterior motives to that anyway.