How to handle racism in public?

So I got a question for youse guys.

Last evening I was sitting at the bar of a local Irish Pub / Restaurant with my wife and some dude sitting next to my wife (Who is black, White, and Spanish) two seats over from me says something offensive to his buddy. When it happened I was in the middle of reading a text from someone I invited up there so I missed it plus it was loud as the reggae band that was about to play was warming up.

My wife said "that's offensive". I said "what was?" Totally unaware of what just happened. She refused to tell me right then and said she would when we left, didn't want to make scene. She know's my temper...

So of course i'm trying to figure it out the whole time, eventually she says the guy next to her said something offensive. I'm assuming it was racist since that's usually the only thing she gets offended by. Turns out he told his buddy that if he won the lottery or had that kind of money he would build a mansion with an elevator that he would have some "N*ggers" that make it go up and down, or something like that.

She told me this once they were gone. As his buddy was leaving he complimented my wife on her looks almost as an apology for his friend who had his back to my wife when he said it.

If I had heard this with my own ears I probably would have came unglued. But, I want to ask youse guys, what's an appropriate way to handle this? Ignore it? Do something about it? What's reasonable?

 

Fair and reasonable responses guys. I was trying to figure out if it was intentional or not because we're an interracial couple. I first walked up and asked this guy if the seats next to him were taken before just taking them, being polite. He said nope all yours and that's when I waved to my wife who was waiting by the door and she came and joined me and sat next to him. The comment came shortly after this so wasn't sure if that was an indirect way of disrespecting us, you know saying it loud enough to be heard but not seem directed at you, while hoping you hear it type thing? IDK, just makes you wonder...

I've been with her for over 6 years and normally just have to deal with the constant compliments she gets in public or the borderline inappropriate comments, but never had anybody give me / us any problems relating to her race or our being together. I have a sense of humor and can take a joke but if my woman feels disrespected that's when I have a problem.

 

Yeah, I really only had a few options, kick his ass, leave, or ignore him and try to enjoy oourselves anyways, which is what we did, but it obviously upset her. I just was wondering had I of be aware of the situation rom the start and decided to kick this guys ass, would it have been proper street justification? Obviously I would probably end up arrested, but would it be worth it? IDK, my anger sometimes says yes, but longer term after that anger is gone I'm still dealing with the legal system I bet. So it's a toss up.

 

Ok I can live with that, I think. As long as I don't go overkill on him, then it becomes really un-worth it by doing real time, or maybe him or his buddy pulls a gun / knife on me, IDK, too many possible scenarios these days.

 

You're possibly right, but then again, it's a bar and people are drinking / drunk saying dumb sh*t left and right. Besides, I don't really like asking someone else to handle something for me. I'd rather just handle sh*t myself, keep my mouth shut, or leave. Just how I am guess.

Nice try Towlie, nice try, but no dice my man. I have a few friends on here that can confirm if they feel so inclined though.

 

I do see how nude pics or partially nude pics could help find a resolution, I do, really.

 

Well thank you Barry, very much so. She keeps me in-line for sure.

 

Some might say so..... OK most would say so..... OK yes lmao

 

HAHA Nice, she stole me away from my ex, I didn't have much of a choice

 

That's what I don't know, if it was about her or just a coincidence