Life Advise Thread...A Questionne of Ethics

Yeah till you get hurt. Bit by a shark? Improperly tied leash gets tangled around your cock? step on a starfish?

Then what Seldom? Then what?

 

"It’s better to beg for forgiveness than to ask for permission."

 

Depends how understanding she is. I usually just go with the being open and honest. I don't take "me days' hardly ever, so when I do, it's warranted. I have actually not taken hundreds of PTO hours over the last decade and my company doesn't pay us out for them either, so I just lose them. I'm getting better about that now though, taking time off for yourself does wonders for the ole noodle. You'll be glad you did.

 

This^ Just hope she's not like my wife, who has a nasty habit of noticing when a board is missing off the rack in the garage and texts asking if I'm surfing and not telling her...

 

don't tell her, go surfing, then, at the end of the day, let her know and carefully note her reaction and let that inform subsequent decisions

 

tell her. give her the alpha wolf stare. piss on her leg to establish dominance.

go surf.

 

You don't have kids. Your answer is chivalrous but wrong.

SS is at a pivotal point where the understanding that the days of past have passed. SS, take this opportunity for guilt free water time. It's priceless. It's sneaking around but it's priceless. You're not spending all night at the bar with questionable folk. You're maintaining a culture that you'll pass to your spawn.

Now, here's the important part. You gotta give her a day/couple hours to go do her thing. At this point in a young mother's life she's gonna feel a lot of guilt for not being super mom and being with the kids 24/7... remind her that she is both super mom and with the kid 24/7.

My kids are 3 and nearly 5. These days you're experiencing are F'n nuts and realizing that "2015 SS" is extinct makes it more tough to swallow but your baby is only a baby once. You'll realize this next time you see a newborn. I'm just now getting back to the point where I can get out and spend some time on the water guilt free but my expectations have been calibrated back to reality.

Some gifts are meant to be shared. Your boss gave you a gift and your duty station is the beach. This gift should be just yours.

 

Well if you're gonna lie, make sure you don't do the missionary nasal drip thing or you'll be sleeping with your dog

 

Maybe the Queen Mum of the Swellies needs to chime in on this

 

You're right, I don't have kids (yet), and I don't disagree with you necessarily, I'm saying I guess it all depends on your relationship. If you just know it's not worth mentioning because you know the reaction, then just go and don't say anything. For me, I believe if I was straight up and said boss man told me I need to surf so he gave me the day off, then she'd say "well that was nice of him", and off I go surfing. I don't think that will change with a child, she's very capable of taking care of things for a few hours while i'm gone, and when I get back I take over and let her relax. That's what you do, you're a team, you help each other out, and you let each other have time to do you. Everybody needs a little down time. Take turns.

 

How likely is it she could find out? The erosion of trust can be damaging to a relationship. I dunno, I'd probably go with being straight up with her. How would you feel if the tables were turned and she were being devious?

 

My thoughts exactly. Good relationships are usually open ones.

 

Plus, if you gotta lie, then I would question how strong your relationship is. And I would also question how much of a man you are. Real men don't ask permission to surf, just sayin.

 

All true from a 100 yd view. In the trenches, it's different.

 

Exactly. Not to mention that both of our iPhones are linked to the same account and with 'Find My iPhone' app she knows where I am (well, my phone anyway) and vice versa.

 

Clem,
you and me got some sh!t in common.

Seldom,
I won't tell you what to do but i'll tell you what I'd do. What I do do.
Take the day for yourself. Even if you catch sh!t for it later it's totally worth it.

I would hold off for a primo swell on a fall week day. maybe a day you can bag the other gig too.
at the beach at first light. You got the whole day. Go somewhere you rarely get a chance too.