Life Advise Thread...A Questionne of Ethics

SS,

I would burn the day off when there are reasonable waves at first light/DP. Get your fill, and then go and retrieve the lady and bambino (@~10am ish) for a picnic lunch at said beach local under a properly secured beach umbrella. Possibly grab a few more waves if tides cooperate. At ~2ish mom will say "I think baby has had to much sun, etc.), so hed back to the domicile for baby's nap and possible romantic time, preceded by some brie, stoned wheat thins, and the beverage of choice. The specifics of the scenario can differ and your mileage may vary.

It's all in the planning. The idea is to create a "win/win".

The other option could be a day when there are waves but horrible beach day (cloudy, rain, etc.), yet awesome surf. Catch your fill of waves, bring home a nice take out meal and watch a flick of her choosing (a good rainy day activity).

Honesty is the best policy will ultimately pay off. If you sneak around, you'll eventually get caught & will take a long time to rebuild your cred if ever.. some people never forget even if you apologize profusely and offer atonement. And as someone else wisely pointed out, considering how you'd feel if she snuck around is an important consideration. The golden rule.

 

I wish you two lots of happiness, and I'm sure once things settle down a little bit, it'll get back to "normal". Postpartum is a real thing, not saying that's what's going on, but maybe to a little degree? If not, then it's just the new stress added to your lives. Either way, this too shall pass. Have lots of communication when the baby is down sleeping or w/e. Calm open discussion about how you want to live. Express what's important to you and what's important to her and then find solutions together so that neither one of you is feeling left out or feeling like your feelings don't matter. Just because she had the child doesn't mean your life is less important than hers. I'm sure she will want you to be happy just as you want her to be. So just talk about how that can be done without you giving up something you are passionate about. Have an agreement, and live by it.

 

Btw, I had my wife's family in town last week and we had planned a day at one of the Bayside beaches with them. That day had the best surf of the week. Fortunately I was able to get in a 2 hour sesh (5 to 7am) and be home in time to get everything together for the family beach outing, and still get a spot in the lot. DP is invaluable.

 

^^^ Best advice, good stuff as always CCCDog

 

DP, it's Amazon prime day. I just got this 1/2 price and shipped to your house for free.

 

Tell her you have the day off, but you are selling one of your surfboards.
Tell her you have a buyer for your surfboard, and you need to bring it to the break to show potential buyer. Very early. come back after your session and tell her the guy flaked. Bring wife and kid back to the beach for round 2

 

someone probably already said this, but mama might figure it out when you come home all sunburnt, surfed out and mellow...unfortunately, sometimes you have little choice than to tell a white lie and just hope you can repair any consequences later.

Do not weave some intricate lie. Try to make the story as close to reality as possible

 

This^^, well done.

with the little one, it's all DP and quick naptime sessions for a while and usually you must choose wisely. a little easier for the naptime sessions once the kid gets into a rhythm too... also, hope you're not too far from the coast! my proximity to the beach has been a savior to my worldview and general well-being on numerous occasions.

 

HAHA, at least you got a good deal on it!

 

Also, SS, read the Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus book. I thought it was a cliché, BS book that I would never need. Turns out I've had every single argument in that book. We're not unique and neither are our relationships. It should be required reading. She should read it too. It really illustrates how men and women are different animals and we communicate differently.

DP, don't worry about reading it, you and robo-wife got it figured out.

 

You want family fun day? tell your little mama. You want this kind of moment?

[video=youtube;BjicPwDOm14]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BjicPwDOm14[/video]

split for the day. come home happy after sunset. Let your lady take the night off. Feed, bath, and bed the baby. Without help.

 

DP, rest assured we'll be here to catch you after you fly to close to the sun.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2FGgHEKko3E

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ag1EbxYKh_4

Then again....maybe not.

 

Herrrrmannnno....!

I'd go with it as follows:

'This is so great, my Boss recognized that I'm in need of surf, he literally gave me a day to go catch a few. Pretty cool guy! So, I'm gonna catch a few waves for a coupla hours, you know how important that is to me, and then I'm gonna spend the rest of the day with you & our daughter.'

My 2 centavos.

 

Depends on your conscience and your wife, I guess....

I wouldn't be able to hide it...bigger probz down the road ya know...and if she really loves you she should comprende....if she doesn't might be the wrong one altogether...just make sure you're pulling your weight around tu casa or maybe even give her a gift of 1/3 your free day...sell it man, selllll it

 

I have a different opinion than you, that doesn't make me wrong, so no need to admit that I am. I don't think you're wrong either btw, its just another opinion. Everyone is free to live their life how they want, what's good for me may not be good for you, and vice versus, and that's ok. My point in that post was to show how I avoid being hassled about things. It's about setting expectations early and being straight forward.

 

+1. This is the distilled version.

Embellish/Build on this framework and it should be light offshores, clean & green for you.

 

either seldom is a great abandonner or he choose today to be the day. waste if you ask me it's lake atlantic out there.

 

And as I said, it's a difference of opinion, therefore neither is right nor wrong. So your little point you're trying to make is irrelevant. I have admitted being wrong in the past and have let others know when they have an interesting perspective that is / was contrary to my own. I don't think you have the time nor do i do go back through all my posts and prove that point, but I assure you it's true. I'm not trying to argue here.