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  1. #151
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Central FL
    Posts
    15,028
    Lmao dude.

  2. #152
    i was getting wasted with two of my homies in OB, San Diego one summer night. then they wanted to go for a swim in the dark night water. i said "we're not wearing any boardshorts". they said "don't care about boardshorts going butt naked" i knew that they were acting crazy and pointed out all of people partying because of the bonfires on the beach that saturday night. they didn't care, stripped down and went on in. boring for me so i stumbled to the nearest fire party. they asked who are you and why are you here? pointed to my friends swimming and said that's to gey for me so can i chill here. "ok" then someone went down to the waters edge and stole their clothing. then when my friends got out of the water and couldn't find any of their stuff they saw me at the bonfire and started to walk towards, so i ran down the beach with them in chase yelling "i didn't do anything". about the time we got to the pier i couldn't run any more i fell into the sand lmao and convinced them that it wasn't my fault. so then the only thing to do was run home about ten blocks away, i followed, about half way they saw some bicycles unlocked in a house yard, thinking bike is faster than foot they grabbed two bikes and started to ride, just then the house poured out some of the scariest dudes ever and caught them. there they were surrounded and almost started cry about how and why they stole the bikes. haha gorillas took back the bikes and set them free. they ran the rest of the way to the apartment where one of them lived. when they got home and realized that the keys are still on the beach somewhere, had no other choice than to break in, so one of them picked up a potted plant and threw it through the window and went on in. meanwhile one of the neighbors saw that and called the cops reporting that two naked men a one clothed just broke into an apartment. so when the police arrived they had to fill out a report.

  3. #153
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Central FL
    Posts
    15,028
    Quote Originally Posted by notaseal View Post
    i was getting wasted with two of my homies in OB, San Diego one summer night. then they wanted to go for a swim in the dark night water. i said "we're not wearing any boardshorts". they said "don't care about boardshorts going butt naked" i knew that they were acting crazy and pointed out all of people partying because of the bonfires on the beach that saturday night. they didn't care, stripped down and went on in. boring for me so i stumbled to the nearest fire party. they asked who are you and why are you here? pointed to my friends swimming and said that's to gey for me so can i chill here. "ok" then someone went down to the waters edge and stole their clothing. then when my friends got out of the water and couldn't find any of their stuff they saw me at the bonfire and started to walk towards, so i ran down the beach with them in chase yelling "i didn't do anything". about the time we got to the pier i couldn't run any more i fell into the sand lmao and convinced them that it wasn't my fault. so then the only thing to do was run home about ten blocks away, i followed, about half way they saw some bicycles unlocked in a house yard, thinking bike is faster than foot they grabbed two bikes and started to ride, just then the house poured out some of the scariest dudes ever and caught them. there they were surrounded and almost started cry about how and why they stole the bikes. haha gorillas took back the bikes and set them free. they ran the rest of the way to the apartment where one of them lived. when they got home and realized that the keys are still on the beach somewhere, had no other choice than to break in, so one of them picked up a potted plant and threw it through the window and went on in. meanwhile one of the neighbors saw that and called the cops reporting that two naked men a one clothed just broke into an apartment. so when the police arrived they had to fill out a report.
    Dude that’s a great story! Hahaha

  4. #154
    Woman Having Affair While Husband Is At Work

    A woman is having an affair during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman’s husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.

    The little boy says, “Its dark in here.”

    The man says, “Yes, it is.”

    Boy ~ “I have a baseball.”

    Man ~ “That’s nice.”

    Boy ~ “Want to buy it?”

    Man ~ “No, thanks.”

    Boy ~ “My dad’s outside.”

    Man ~ “OK, how much?”

    Boy ~ “$250?

    In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.



    Boy ~ “Its dark in here.”

    Man ~ “Yes, it is.”

    Boy ~ “I have a baseball glove.”

    The lover remembering the last time, asks the boy, “How much?”

    Boy ~ “$750?

    Man ~ “Fine.”

    A few days later, the father says to the boy, “Grab your glove, let’s go outside and have a game of catch.”

    The boy says, “I can’t, I sold my baseball and my glove.”

    The father asks, “How much did you sell them for?”

    Boy ~ “$1,000?

    The father says, “That’s terrible to overcharge your friends like that…that is way more than those two things cost. I’m going to take you to church and make you confess.”

    They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.

    The boy says, “Dark in here.”

    The priest says, “Don’t start that crap again.”

  5. #155
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Location
    Singer Island
    Posts
    4,698
    ^^^ LMAO , BTW you're going straight to hell, not collecting the $200. (unless, of course, you have a "Get Out of Hell Free" card.

  6. #156

  7. #157
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Central FL
    Posts
    15,028
    Quote Originally Posted by luminosity View Post
    Lol

  8. #158

  9. #159
    ^^haha, kind of like the blonde that needed to put some "710" in her car

  10. #160