Free Mustache Rides sounds less offensive than Free Face Rides, and it looks better when printed on a T-shirt... Then of course there is the always tasteful, "As long as I have a face, you'll have a place to sit."
since no one put up a good story, one from last movember I gave a mustache ride to a fine lady and she said it tickled and felt good so I kept being cunning and she sneezed and squirted on me at the same time lolol theres a first for everything