Battle scars

I got gut checked in the rib cage today, harder than I ever have, by my 30lbs log whilst attempting to dodge some fool on a sup. It hurt.

 

Similar injury....

It was the 4th of July a few years ago. Went down to SE of WB just after dawn.

It was already getting hot, tons of girls on the beach and a clean little longboard wave peeling. God bless America.

I'm thinking I'll be out there a while so I grabbed an old hat out of the car to save my face/eyes... first and last time I ever surfed in a hat.

Caught a few leisurely rides... maybe my 20th wave i'm heading towards a pack of kids in the shallows. They go in every direction except where I need, and I have no option but to try and fall on my board...

I go down and the board shoots in front of me, instead of reaching for the board I reached for the hat. I'm wearing a leash (strictly enforced leash rule at the time, and i'm not looking for trouble) so the board springs back. I put my foot out to stop it and the back of the fin hits me right in the arch.

I feel a little pop but no pain, so i turn around and paddle back out. Then my buddy points out that I have blood literally squirting out of my foot.

I head to the beach... lifeguard is useless so I limp to my car, every step is a puddle of blood. I drive to the nearest doctor... closed on the 4th... drive another 15 minutes... closed on the 4th. Finally about 15 miles from the beach I find a doctor.

Got 11 stitches and a $500 set of crutches... FUCK!!! Didn't know about the bill until weeks later.

Funny side story... I had just got a big promotion at work and I went back after the long weekend sunburnt with 1 shoe on, hopping around on crutches. I was sales manager at a e-commerce company so I could work mostly from my desk, but the big boss was clearly not amused LOL

 

got a fin gash in costa last yr that got infected. Really nice purple scar and flip flops at work for 2 weeks.

 

got a ding on the rail and it was like a cheese grater every time i would go to paddle after sitting on the board.

 

Popped a floater on my LB a couple years ago on a thigh hi peeler, and the boart came down sideways, and then the wave pushed it back up just as I landed on the rail ribs first. I ate it almost right on the beach, so I just layed there in the sand for a few, caught by breath. Could barely drag the board to my car. That one hurt for a month.

 

.

 

Then why are you surfing?? hahahahaha!!! Just kidding.

 

Quint: [referring to a cut on Brody's head] Chief... don't you worry about it, Chief. It won't be permanent. Wanna see somethin' permanent, boom-boom-boom?

[Quint pulls out a false front tooth and laughs]

Quint: Hey, Hoop, you wanna feel somethin' permanent? You just put your hand underneath my cap... and you just feel that little lump. Knock an ole un, St. Paddy's day, Boston.

Hooper: I got that beat.

Hooper: [to Brody] I got that beat.

 

Mayor Vaughn: [to reporter] I'm pleased and happy to repeat the news that we have, in fact, caught and killed a large predator that supposedly injured some bathers. But, as you see, it's a beautiful day, the beaches are open and people are having a wonderful time. Amity, as you know, means "friendship".

 

Mayor Vaughn: I don't think either of one you are familiar with our problems.

Hooper: I think that I am familiar with the fact that you are going to ignore this particular problem until it swims up and BITES YOU ON THE ASS!

 

Mayor Vaughn might be my all time favorite movie character.

Mayor Vaughn: Fellows, let's be reasonable, huh? This is not the time or the place to perform some kind of a half-assed autopsy on a fish... And I'm not going to stand here and see that thing cut open and see that little Kintner boy spill out all over the dock.

 

I entered an arm wrestling tournament.... now, you see this arm, Mr. Hooper? I can't extend it anymore, because I made it to the semifinals and this big Chinaman took me riiiiiiiiiiight over....."

 

I have a scar on the inside of my heel / ankle where the center fin on my LB sliced it wide open after getting barreled and closed out on. It was a bigger than expected day (5-7ft) and I didn’t bring my SB. I dropped in at an angle and pulled under the lip and held my line as long as I could before getting blown up. Somewhere in the rinse cycle the fin smacked it just right and opened me right up.

Blood being an issue I paddled in and went to the vehicle to conduct 1st AID and stop the bleeding. I got it pretty close to stopped and had it wrapped up best I could. I paddled back out and surfed another 3 hours with one foot in the air to prevent blood getting in the water.

Very memorable session I might add. One the best days I have ever had on a LB.

Another scar on my other foot from hitting the fin on one of my SB’s. Nothing memorable, I just got cut and cussed up a storm.

I have a scar on my right hip, it looks like a vagina if you turn your head just right. I got it my last trip to PR when I got destroyed on a DOH closeout and dislocated my shoulder beyond belief and got the fin to the side while in the rinse cycle.

My shoulder was so jacked I didn’t even realize I was cut until someone told me about it as they walked by watching me hold my detached arm in agony. Turns out I was leaking pretty good and should have gotten stitches but they failed to give me those at the ER in Mayaguez.

I have a scar on the inside of my left knee. Looks like a giant macaroni noodle. I got it skateboarding when I was younger. I was mostly a street skater, although I rode vert a little too, but I preferred street.

Anyways, I was landing pretty much everything I wanted over this gap I always skated by my house. A friend asked me to show them how to do a 360 flip over the gap and I did it no problem full speed but then tried to slow it down and biffed. The tail of my boart smacked my knee and cut it to the bone. The tail was razor sharp... I needed a new boart probably. I should have gotten stitches but I refused.

I have another scar above my left eyebrow right on the orbital bone near my temple. I got jumped at a party by 4 dudes after I was shit faced drunk, I fell over a curb and as I was getting up this huge dude punched me and it opened up a cut. They all were kicking me while I was down, till I got up and started swinging, made a few connects and then they all took off running and got in their cars and hauled ass.

Let’s see, what else.....

 

Such the typical politician...nothing has changed since 1975, except maybe cigarette smoking and that suite sport jacket with the anchor pattern.

And, I've acquired a taste for Brody's wife the last couple of decades.

HOOPER: "Mary Ellen Moffat...she broke my heart."

 

-Got 10 or 12 stitches on my head from my LB. Nice looking scar. When my hair grows in its covered but unfortunately, i buzz my head on the reg.

- Got another patch of scars on my hand. Was getting rag dolled and fin met my hand. That was another 10 stitches or so.

- Got my finger randomly caught in my leash as a wave was pushing my board in... tightening leash.... snapping my finger

-And have had 2 concussions. One from the incident that resulted in the stitches on my head. And another that luckily resulted in no stiches.

The funny thing is i went injury free besides a few minor bumps and bruises for over 10 years of surfing. Then in the past couple years all of the above happened

 

Various fin scars to various parts of my body. Should maybe check out those fin-less boards.

 

Not surfing - bit by a folding jack. Thumb ended at the knuckle and was gone from there... but it grew back completely and now my daughter calls me Patrick Star