Beatings.

sheer cliff one side, open ocean swells at 6ft other side, high drama forced me to ascend to a higher plane.

 

Once as a little kid I was held down by Scott Farkus who told me he was gonna make me "High on Life" with the beating he was gonna give me. . . so I raised my knee and ran like hell.

 

My ex-wife & her lawyer, Rip Doom, from the law firm of Dewey, Cheatham & Howe. Six-year hold down for me.

 

"Rip Doom" is that his real name or did you make it up for dramatic effect?? Cause man i'd feel really f'd if the lawyer my opposing side stepped to the plate with!! Like "Max Power" you cant beat that!

 

Show up early on morning to surf the left in the photo (not the same day but illustrates the set up well). It was always difficult to tell how big it was from the parking lot because the harbor extends beyond the red roof on the right where the parking lot is located... making the paddle 1/4 of a mile through the boat channel. Further complicating my judgment of wave height was the fact that I had only lived on island a few months and had spent the previous 3 years land locked and surf starved.

Stoked. Solid. Offshore. Only 4 other local guys show up. One of those in attendance, George (an average joe like me), wanted no part and passed despite my assurance that it looked fun maybe head high. That should have clued me in right there as to this being a bad idea, but I was amping so hard. The others? Established pros that had years of success in international competition representing our island in some heavy settings like Hawaii, Pohnpei, Fiji, etc. That should have been the second hint but it passed me by as well.

Ahhh hindsight… Clue number 3… I only had a 5’ 8” and a 5’9” RNF with me but I would routinely surf these on the left till about 3 foot (island) before going to something else. Grab the 5’9’’, jump in and paddle out behind the others. About the time I made it to the channel markers (barely visible in the photo), I realized I had sorely misjudged the waves. The odd swell direction made the right heaving death that swung wide making the 200 foot plus wide channel about a quarter of its normal size (kinda like in the photo). The boys were on the left stroking into well OH/ DOH stand up barrels (takeoff was just out of frame along outer edge of the photo). I’m not one to let nervousness get the better of me so I decided I would sit in the boat channel, a bit inside, and paddle out only for the small ones the others let go to catch the bowling section between the finger of the jetty and the channel marker. I get 3 fun HH ones and started feeling pretty confident.

Then it happened. Missed the 4th wave I paddled for putting me way inside as a monster set approached that stacked up all the way across the channel joining the right and left into one huge wave. I watched in horror as the one loc way out the back and loc 25 yards outside of me got cleaned up by a racing wall of white water. Duck dive …eyes wide open… crystal clear water. I knew there was no way I was getting under the spinning vortex approaching me.

First wave flipped me upside down and pinned me to the coral under my board (in duck dive position) as it passed overhead. I let the board go to swim to the surface but the white water made it impossible. Had to push off the coral… hands and feet are now cut up. I break the surface and the 4th local who had caught the wave before the one I had missed sitting in the channel just yards away saying “Holy ****!” Confirmation: no one expected that. I started laughing, took a breath, and dove to the bottom for the second wave of the set. Again had to push off the bottom to come up. Only this time I wasn’t laughing. The water was dragging me by my board (leash pulled tight and unable to reach it) to one of two potential fates as there was no way I could reach the channel (so close but yet so far)… the next wave was going to smash my board and myself into the jagged limestone jetty or wrap me around the urchin encrusted channel marker. The water in this era is only waist deep so I went fetal as the 3rd wave hit me. I bounced of the coral a few times but managed to pass right between the two obstacles with only my board whacking the jetty as I passed.

Sat in the channel for a bit after that just watching, bleeding, and trying to catch my breath. The surfer that had watched all this transpire from the channel said, “Man! I thought I was watching you drown.” Didn’t want this lingering over my head, (I looked up to these guys and didn’t want to have the jitters next time surfing this spot) so I knew I had to catch another wave regardless. Took a while but nabbed one more and paddled in. Latter that day another guy got wrapped around the channel marker. Total blood bath. He was wrapped up like a mummy (slight exaggeration) walking with a crutch for a week afterwards.

Set up


It would be HH towards DOH then things like this would happen (not me)


Channel markers...dry docked a few boards on those over the years

 

Huge set, huge turn, barrel. . . . . come out claim. Sip beer, eat dinner, drop in, wave? stormy monday by all man brothers. Slender Man? huff spray paint?? Can someone tell me how dark matter exists? The ocean is nice. I like waves, heroin?,,, Fu**K NO!!!

 

isnt there a thread on this almost once a month?

 

https://vine.co/v/hH6ug2jVDvU

 

Wow charles that's a badass dog. Seriously badass. Your stock just went up buddy.

 

Obviously never been in a real fight. (Sucker punching someone in a Maine flannel-shirt-ol-man-bar doesn't count.)

I could drive a train through your looping rights. Not to mention two or three combos that would have you on your porky arse.

Then I'd take a bat to your rape dog. Even though I love dogs, if he's going after me he's going to join you in the meat pile.

And who is gonna stand there while your place your hand on the dummy's left shoulder & swing madly with your right? Oh, a latex dummy. There ya go tuff guy. You're a legend there in your barn chucka boo boo.

Maybe you could track down shart fluffer & see if he stands still in the parking lot while you try to slap him.

 

You shouldn't give lunatics fighting advice but I have to agree with you about those right "hooks".

I always laugh when I see people throwing punches like that (in real fights). One straight right or a quick jab will get there so much faster.

But seriously I think the dog would take you out yankee. He probably has it trained to rip off testicles.

 

omg

i kinda feel embarrassed for you

but f-it .....i will meet you to fight irl

 

Why am I not seeing this vine? Link takes me to the main page.

 

thats a scary wave man i wouldnt want to catch that!! no but question about the banks, i know it drops off of the beach but i was paranoid surfing there last time.. i know the out side waves def break in deap water, but what about the inside sets in the banks that get good, is it shallow where they break? ive never touched bottom but the waves started grinding hard in frisco and i was hesitant because i didnt want to eat sand.

 

One time in Belmar NJ- I dropped into a wave. It was pretty heavy. It was like 23 ft- that's what the bouy says... Then when I came out of the barrel I did a complete KFC turn and shodded the pier. Then I fell and got worked a little... Buts it's ok cause I scrabbled up ontop of the pier and hid.

 

who is nikki?