Benny Stories

I would love to get that 12 seconds of my life back.

 

really slade.. be honest, that never happened did it?

There was always the old "where's the beach?"

we always pointed them in the opposite direction...

 

next time someone asks you for trees send them to Howard st and Fayette ave by the Bus Stop in downtown bmore. 24/7 open air weed market. Everybody knows that. You can cop a dime bag on christmas morning with 3 feet of snow on the ground. Those hustlers are out everyday, all day, all year baby. Respect the out of town stoners. At least they werent surfing your waves!

 

i bet you guys felt like real bros after you smashed there hood in for really no apparent reason. did you guys E-walk after it too?

 

wow, do you seriously believe him?

 

What's a Benny? I think we've discussed this before but I need a refresher.

 

Bayonne, Elizabeth, Newark and New York,

 

annoying tourists (often times guidos) who litter the lineup, are disrespectful, don't know what they're doing, and think they own the beach just because they "paid" to get on (just like the rest of us).

 

i know we all hate and make fun of bennys, but really, you have to think of how much money they put in our community in the summer from buying tons of sh*t and beach passes. But they shouldnt think they own the place and take over! But you have to remember, were all bennys somewhere

 

Thanks Shaka, a Jersey stand-up friend of mine (Yes, believe it or not I have a few) clued me in. We don't really get em down here my way like ya'll do up there. Similar people in my town, I just call them Tourons

 

another thing my family & friends like to do,is go down to the harbor & watch "the pennsylvania navy" fumble about.

 

Back in college, my best buddy got a job as an interpreter at Assateague National Park. Working in the Visitors' Center, he would get asked about a dozen times a day "Where is the Ocean?" Finally one day he snapped. He pointed at the Assawoman Bay and said, "That is the Atlantic Ocean." He pointed at Assateague and said, "See that island over there?" The family nodded. He continued, "That, folks, is England."

He also saw about a dozen people a day with hoof-shaped bruises on their legs from trying to ride the wild horses.

Gotta love the tourons.

 

once while guarding in wildwood crest, i had a woman ask me what was on the other side of the water. i told her, "well, eventually england." she said, "no, no. before that." i just kinda looked at her & thought to myself, "BEFORE that??" & said, "nothing. we're it. just water between us & them."
she seemed to be under the impression that there was another island or something out there...
i patted myself on the back for handling that one as well as i did & not telling her that she was a moron & had no right to reproduce & pass on such woeful geographic skill.
plus, it was funny as hell.

 

Why not cash in on some of that tourist wealth? I am fine as far as income, but if I was low on cash you bet I would be handing out flyers (or business cards) to take the family out and surf for half day at $50 a head. Too much anger...what about some business ideas. There are a hundred legal ways to seperate a tourist from his money.

 

Most of the people I deal with in my business (tourist supported) are good people who are really excited to be here. Generally they look at the people that get to live here as being special and all have the dream of "Some Day". The famillies and the kids are what makes my job enjoyable, they wave to me everytime they see me like I am a celebrity, and treat me like a member of their family. The vast majority of the people with a problem in the water are not the visitors but pissed off locals (I have to admit that is me occasionally). Most of the time benny surfers are clueless and get in the way more than anything but not maliciously.

I grew up in New Jersey, but back then most of the people who visited Sandy Hook were somewhat local. You guys further south got most of the the Bennys. I only started hearing that term after I would spend a few weeks every summer in Bradley. It was directed at me a few times even though I lived just 20 miles up the beach .

Mikey I would doubt that story about the hoof marks on the legs. I work on that Isalnd and see those ponies everyday, and let me tell you most of the people who have been kicked by those ponies are in the hospital with broken limbs, concusions etc. No way that many were hit hard enough to leave a mark and walked away from the encounter.

 

Mikey I would doubt that story about the hoof marks on the legs. I work on that Isalnd and see those ponies everyday, and let me tell you most of the people who have been kicked by those ponies are in the hospital with broken limbs, concusions etc. No way that many were hit hard enough to leave a mark and walked away from the encounter

Well, my buddy (who shall remain nameless and who lives on the west coast now) is prone to hyperbole. Actually all surfers are prone to wild exaggeration--we're as bad as fishermen! You should have been here yesterday (last week, an hour ago, etc.) it was epic!

My own best touron story took place in Hatteras, where I was also a touron. The waves were about chest high and pretty punchy. A young feller in a wetsuit stamped "RENTAL" paddled up to me on a Bic and asked, "You got any pointers for a beginner." My reply was, "Well, you should paddle around a bit and get a feel for it. By the way, today is not a real beginner day." He looked me right in the eye and said, "F*** that, I'm goin' for it." He paddled into a macker of a closeout--we're talking overhead (minimal exaggeration)-- and got drilled. The big Bic spun around in the air like a figure skater. A while later we watched him drag the rental board and his rental suit (now full of sand) up the beach and over the dunes and away.

This leads me to a question for the peanut gallery out there: If a beginner, tourist, wannabee, etc., appears to be getting himself into trouble, are we, the learned ones, in any way obligated to help out or do we just let natural selection do what it does?

 

In your case, I would only help him if he was in imminent danger of death or serious injury.

 

yeah i probably would advise the person too. i mean, when i charge big waves, i know what can happen and so i am better prepared for it, but these noobs just pose a threat to themselves and others and its behavior i just can't condone. i would feel like it were our moral obligation to say something haha

 

yeah. when you say something and the douche STILL paddles out then they deserve what they get. a trip to the emergency room can teach a lasting lesson.