Calling SI doctors!!!! That means YOU!

Discussion in 'All Discussions' started by surfsolo, Apr 26, 2015.

  1. surfsolo

    surfsolo Well-Known Member

    Apr 1, 2009
    Need some help, just had a shark bite my arm off and I'm tying this with one hand...any suggestions? Need sound medical advice. HELP!
  2. Barry Cuda

    Barry Cuda Guest

    Chop the second arm off for better balance.
    You are now streamlined.
    I will send you a bill for this medical advice. Cash only accepted.
    Dr. Cuda

  3. surfsolo

    surfsolo Well-Known Member

    Apr 1, 2009
    you accept paypal?...gonna take a little nap now after cutting off the second arm.
  4. Mr.Belmar

    Mr.Belmar Well-Known Member

    Aug 19, 2010
    I guess this is the result of people not being able to afford the affordable health care act....

  5. worsey

    worsey Well-Known Member

    Oct 13, 2013
    bethany - ask your new hubby and stop bugging us.
  6. bubs

    bubs Well-Known Member

    Sep 12, 2010
    Call Jimbo Pelligrine.
  7. DonQ

    DonQ Well-Known Member

    Oct 23, 2014
    Sorry to hear that but there's always body surfing. Kick your feet for propulsion,use your shoulders to plane. Might takes a little getting used to but you'll get it over time. Keep your chin up!
  8. DonQ

    DonQ Well-Known Member

    Oct 23, 2014
    By the way. Do you now post with that pencill thingy in your mouth or your toes? Curious
  9. Towelie

    Towelie Well-Known Member

    Nov 27, 2014
    That's what you get for paddling like a girl. Flapping your elbows and slapping the waiter.
  10. Ronnie Mund

    Ronnie Mund Well-Known Member

    Jul 6, 2012
    You have full blown AIDS.
  11. The Incorrigible Steel Burrito VII

    The Incorrigible Steel Burrito VII Well-Known Member

    Oct 19, 2014
    You're stroking arm? Best advice--- train your kids early on to masturbate with both hands.
  12. kidrock

    kidrock Well-Known Member

    Aug 1, 2010
    Quit surfing. Now.
  13. NJ glide

    NJ glide Well-Known Member

    Jun 8, 2013
    Drink a bunch of bourbon, pour some on the stump, sew it up with fishing line or dental floss then pour a bunch of krazy glue over the end of it. Now that its sealed paddle back out with one arm and start practicing cause you're gonna have to learn the paddle in all over again now.
  14. EmassSpicoli

    EmassSpicoli Well-Known Member

    Apr 16, 2013
    This is a house of learned doctors.
  15. fl.surfdog

    fl.surfdog Well-Known Member

    Dec 6, 2010
    Its gonna be a ***** paddeling in circles.
  16. misfit27

    misfit27 Well-Known Member

    Dec 12, 2013
    Legally speaking, I can't diagnose something like a missing arm over a forum, so this should be taken as strictly general advice. If an arm is missing, the preferred treatment is severe, repeated testicular trauma. The shunting of blood to the inferior vena cava along with the psychogenic shock caused by extreme pain will cause regeneration of any missing body parts, but only if you (no need to pay an MD to do it for you) repeated bash yourself in the balls with a large blunt object. Get on it right now, time lost is arm lost.
  17. kidrock

    kidrock Well-Known Member

    Aug 1, 2010
    Dayum, misfit27 busts out hard...nice one, son.

    So why hasn't anybody suggested to ask Bethany Hamilton? Still too soon?
    Last edited: Apr 27, 2015
  18. worsey

    worsey Well-Known Member

    Oct 13, 2013
    post # 5.