Cool surfers don't

You forgot, cool surfers don't surf in these:

 

Cool surfers:

 

Cool surfers DO:

1)Complain about summer and the tourists/lifeguards. Say how you can't wait for winter. You KNOW you're better and more important than the summer beach people. Say how you hate the beach. ***** and moan as much as possible to everyone in the water.

2)Wear as thin a wetsuit as possible and choose a really hard to get into wetsuit as possible. Chest is good. No zipper is best. Back zip is for posers. The thinner the wetsuit that you can wear, the cooler you are. 10 minute struggles and strained muscles to get into your zipperless wetsuit proves how awesome you are. Complain about how you're too hot in your 4/3 in January.

3)Complain about kooks/boogie boarders in your way.

4)NEVER under any circumstances look like you're having fun. Always serious. Again surfing wait to chest waves on the east coast isn't for fun. It's to PROVE yourself and to post pics/video to instagram.

5)Complain about lifeguards. This must be done every session during the summer. Purposefully go to the flagged off beach area even though it's firing better elsewhere.

6)NEVER EVER boogie board. Under any circumstances. Boogie boards are the anti-christ to surfing. You'd rather be caught rollerblading in a pink tutu than seen riding a boogie board.

7)Yell "where were you in winter" to any surfer/person that you feels wronged at the beach including parking staff who literally have no clue what you're talking about. Make sure to tell everyone in lineup what a hardcore winter surfer you are and complain about all the summer fair weather surfers.

9)Be a roided up 40 year old guido super aggro surfer and start fights with teenagers half your size for getting in your way when it's 4 feet at 8 seconds at belmar.

10)Throw other surfer's stuff in the water

If you can do all that, you're a COOL surfer. Oh and NEVER ever wear a leash and make sure to let your board go when paddling out if a big set comes so it can hit other people.

 

lifeguards suck

 

Surfers suck.

 

Those 60's bikinis look like cotton Granny Panties

 

I like where this thread is at

 

cool surfers don't smoke reggies

 

You dont even notcie cool surfers until theyre on a wave.

 

14) start threads like this

fkn fegget

 

Cool surfers don't post on SI........ah sh*t

 

Cool surfers... do not dress like hipsters or wear flashy wetsuits

 

...post after the hours of 9pm to, whenever...or 3:53am

 

Cool Surfers

Oxymoron

 

pretty sure none of us are cool

 

The thread should be " Too Cool Surfers"
Cool surfers hoot you into waves. Show respect when given. Give tips to newbs.
Basically show Aloha.
Yeah go ahead. I'm a kook.
But I'm kool.
I bust through walls. Oh Yeah!

 

Too Cool For School Brah.