Cool surfers don't

Discussion in 'All Discussions' started by Clownface, Apr 23, 2017.

  1. Clownface

    Clownface Well-Known Member

    Jan 24, 2017
    Cool surfers don't

    1. Wear a leash
    2. Wax their boards properly
    3. Wear a wetsuit thicker than 3/2
    4. Wear a hood
    5. Ride a step up
    6. Talk about surfing
    7. Ride anything other than perfect conditions
    8. Board ditch
    9. Longboard
    10. Surf in the morning
    11. Ride polystyrene
    12. Drive to the beach alone
    13. Claim the best wave of their life
    Last edited: Apr 23, 2017
  2. Zeroevol

    Zeroevol Well-Known Member

    Jun 22, 2009
    You forgot, cool surfers don't surf in these:

  3. DosXX

    DosXX Well-Known Member

    Mar 2, 2013
    Cool surfers:
  4. rhode island sale

    rhode island sale Well-Known Member

    Nov 8, 2014
    Cool surfers DO:

    1)Complain about summer and the tourists/lifeguards. Say how you can't wait for winter. You KNOW you're better and more important than the summer beach people. Say how you hate the beach. ***** and moan as much as possible to everyone in the water.

    2)Wear as thin a wetsuit as possible and choose a really hard to get into wetsuit as possible. Chest is good. No zipper is best. Back zip is for posers. The thinner the wetsuit that you can wear, the cooler you are. 10 minute struggles and strained muscles to get into your zipperless wetsuit proves how awesome you are. Complain about how you're too hot in your 4/3 in January.

    3)Complain about kooks/boogie boarders in your way.

    4)NEVER under any circumstances look like you're having fun. Always serious. Again surfing wait to chest waves on the east coast isn't for fun. It's to PROVE yourself and to post pics/video to instagram.

    5)Complain about lifeguards. This must be done every session during the summer. Purposefully go to the flagged off beach area even though it's firing better elsewhere.

    6)NEVER EVER boogie board. Under any circumstances. Boogie boards are the anti-christ to surfing. You'd rather be caught rollerblading in a pink tutu than seen riding a boogie board.

    7)Yell "where were you in winter" to any surfer/person that you feels wronged at the beach including parking staff who literally have no clue what you're talking about. Make sure to tell everyone in lineup what a hardcore winter surfer you are and complain about all the summer fair weather surfers.

    9)Be a roided up 40 year old guido super aggro surfer and start fights with teenagers half your size for getting in your way when it's 4 feet at 8 seconds at belmar.

    10)Throw other surfer's stuff in the water

    If you can do all that, you're a COOL surfer. Oh and NEVER ever wear a leash and make sure to let your board go when paddling out if a big set comes so it can hit other people.
  5. aka pumpmaster

    aka pumpmaster Well-Known Member

    Apr 30, 2008
  6. kidde rocque

    kidde rocque Well-Known Member

    Mar 6, 2016
    Those 60's bikinis look like cotton Granny Panties
  7. bubs

    bubs Well-Known Member

    Sep 12, 2010
    I like where this thread is at
  8. cepriano

    cepriano Well-Known Member

    Apr 20, 2012
    cool surfers don't smoke reggies
  9. bubs

    bubs Well-Known Member

    Sep 12, 2010
    You dont even notcie cool surfers until theyre on a wave.
  10. HelpHelpLetMeOut

    HelpHelpLetMeOut Well-Known Member

    Mar 2, 2017
    14) start threads like this

    fkn fegget
  11. superbust

    superbust Well-Known Member

    Nov 2, 2008
    Cool surfers don't post on SI........ah sh*t
  12. nalu222

    nalu222 Well-Known Member

    Feb 11, 2010
    Cool surfers... do not dress like hipsters or wear flashy wetsuits
  13. DonQ

    DonQ Well-Known Member

    Oct 23, 2014 after the hours of 9pm to, whenever...or 3:53am
    Last edited: Apr 23, 2017
  14. LBCrew

    LBCrew Well-Known Member

    Aug 12, 2009
    Cool Surfers

  15. dudeman

    dudeman Well-Known Member

    Jan 21, 2011
    pretty sure none of us are cool
  16. archy 2.0

    archy 2.0 Well-Known Member

    Jul 5, 2012
    The thread should be " Too Cool Surfers"
    Cool surfers hoot you into waves. Show respect when given. Give tips to newbs.
    Basically show Aloha.
    Yeah go ahead. I'm a kook.
    But I'm kool.
    I bust through walls. Oh Yeah!
  17. Clownface

    Clownface Well-Known Member

    Jan 24, 2017
    What you're referring to is the real surfer
  18. archy 2.0

    archy 2.0 Well-Known Member

    Jul 5, 2012
    Too Cool For School Brah.
  19. Clownface

    Clownface Well-Known Member

    Jan 24, 2017
    Brah you're cool get over it