Crowd Control Techniques

The ultimate crowd control tactic is dropping doo doo turds out the pant leg of your suit and then claim it as if it was the most shred gnar accomplishment in history.

 

I always tell people that the water is really warm where I am at...jokingly of coarse...I do hate it when people spit all over the place, so I am the guy that will tell you about it, I get crazy looks sometimes, but they don't do it anymore or they just paddle off

 

Saw a guy wearing a white surf helmet & an orange jumpsuit with the arse cut out of it. Seemed to do the trick.

 

^^^+1....that's funny Yankee!!!

 

Had to change it up slightly......but thanks!

 

+2, f**king classic!

 

Dude, You cant make up rules like that. If you told me not to spit in the water(which is full of feces, disease and the dreaded fish poo)I would then tell you to paddle on. I spit a lot, I don't like the taste of salt water. So get F-ed. Spit aint litter, and it wont hurt you.(mine wont anyways)

 

Aggro, I like it Mac, I like it....and it keeps the jumpsuits at bay, too.

 

Your right Yankee...agro....hey Mac I'm not talking about a little salt water spray from your mouth... im talking loogies, you know the kind that comes from deep down inside your nostrils, c'mon over here I'll show ya.

 

If someone else is closer to the peak and is paddling for anything but the last wave of the set while you're paddling toward the same set, paddle hard but smooth, maybe even glide for a few feet while casually watching him commit to the wave. All while knowing the next couple of waves look bigger/nicer.

No need to get the dude all worked up and wondering if he should wait for the next one.

 

south FL is full of focking goons, I dont know how you do it there. I have never seen a bigger assortment of kooks in my life. juno beach pier? KEEEERIST almighty that place is clownshoes.

FL waves have their moments, but its never serious enough to sort out pretenders. (save the rare pumphouse day)

I typically used mockery/shame in a calm voice to make folks uncomfortable

One time at 3rd street in OC it was neighborhood boys out and then this summer guy who is a PA principle or something paddle for the peak, tried for like 4 waves on his longbaord and kept missing.....I asked him if he felt uncomfortable. He said "No"
I said "then you aren't paying attention' the lineup erupted in laughter, he left and then it was back to the boys rotation

I think Id take up basket weaving if I was stuck in south FL

in HI I stfu cause I like all my teeth

back in jerz, I had a friend who would just get baked out of his gord and start yelling sheet like
BABY COAT HANGER ABORTION
ANAL FISTING MIDGETS
**** OFF GROM IMA GONNA RAPE YOUR MOM
he would have a LARGE radius of vacant space around him and if anyone started to invade he'd say I SEE YOU CREEPIN!

worked a lot, but kinda ****ty thing to do, then again we were young dumb and full of it

 

think someone posted this on here before but these look like they'd do the trick

 

just make up some crazy story with ur buddies in a crowded lineup real loud.for instance,dude did u hear about that chemical spill a mile offshore?i heard theres flesh eating bacteria.or how about,dam dude I cant believe that shark bit bill yesterday,they still havnt caught it?or talk like a complete kook saying im going to take the next wave and run everybody over.paddle out with raw steaks taped to your suit and ask anybody if there hungry.

 

I look for a spot that's not too crowded and surf there. Crazy idea, but it works...
And if I'm at my local spot and it's crowded most of them are friends and it's fun.

 

Me and my buddies pretty much recite all the classics from Nova Scotia's finest, the "Trailer Park Boys."
We clear peaks pretty quick.

 

Cool thread. Ima let my nosebuddah fly at will. If you're close enough to someone to get touched by the same water particles (out of bajillions) that they've tainted with bodily fluids, they're probably thinking that you're trying to climb aboard their stick with them. Yes, there's something wrong with that. Our lineup mates can piss in the water we paddle in but we can't spit that piss-water out with vehement force? As for verbal directives, what happened to the classic "GET OFF MY PEAK!!!" ?? Timeless and direct

 

I spit a lot. It is probably why I never get sick when there is bad stuff in the water. I care about my health more than I care about "manners" in the water. I also sometimes launch a nice snot rocket. It isn't geed to keep that stuff in your body.