Dear Hipsters

Wait, so it's not "survival of the fittest jeans"??????

Ohhhh....."genes". I get it now!!!

 

They TRY to look uber-male....but
Can't spin a wrench.
Can't swing an ax.
Opposed to guns.
Drink machiattos
Ride Vespas
Grow mountain men beards but can't clean a dead animal (nothing against the veggies here, but if you're trying to look the part, better be able to cash the check)
Wear levis with italian loafers. I love both of those...but they don't belong together. If you're cuffing jeans, you better be rocking doc martens brah.
Their music sounds like it was written by a 10 year old that ate lead paint as a child
They drink PBR. Who the f*** with any self respect drinks PBR from a sober state? Sure, cap the night off if you're desperate and that's all that's in the cooler, but for the love of all things holy and righteous...start off with a micro-brew.
They all live in Brooklyn....voluntarily.
Wear non-prescription glasses. Can't really figure that one out.


I could keep going, but it makes me want to punch a baby.

 

hey - i listen to morrissey. so old/fat/bald is hip??

 

cue the banjos..

 

no, just fat. Old and bald is uber cool.

 

very funny

also props to JR but lets not knock a beer that costs less than 50 cents a can. sometimes I want to crush a bunch and my pockets arent deep enough for microbrews. tecate, rolling rock and pbr get it done cheaply and after the first 2 they all go down like spring water from a virgin mountain

 

Sorry baddy, nothing personal, just something I was told once.

 

That nailed it too. Micro-brews are now gaining acceptance. I still feel most scum sucking yuppies drink them still though

 

True. Yeah yuppies are a bit annoying, and even worse than hipsters. Completely emasculated square frame wearing goofs, foaming at the mouth for the new Ikea summer collection.

I swear, half my generation has their head on straight, the other half is fine embracing weakness and wallowing in mediocrity. I live in MA, this place is crawling with them. Jump and run at the sight of a spider, vehemently pro-political correctness, claims to be a forward thinker, incapable of recognizing humans for what they are.
Sometimes I wonder how their eyes aren't on the sides of their head. See exhibit 1 and 2






Our eye sockets are formed below the frontal lobe of our skull, and not in the temporal region...and this is for a reason. Hunters vs the hunted. I can't think of a species that would voluntarily regress from Apex to prey....aside from hipsters and yuppies.

 

Your post sounds like you're crying. I left a tissue next to your mother's head board. Use that, not swellinfo.

 

i thought most surfers are hipsters.most of the surfers I see are tight jean wearing,hair dyed black even tho they are blond,aviator shades,dc sneakers with the pants tucked in,listening to that techno punk or whatever its called that every surf video since 2008 has on their soundtrack.

lol watch ths.hilarious
[video=youtube;Yv76csRTeto]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yv76csRTeto[/video]

 

this too
[video=youtube;xIhyZaA8yqo]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xIhyZaA8yqo[/video]

 

only hipsters play soccer...and i think most call it "football"

 

nothing

but when you add a beard, toms, skinny jeans and a guy who cant do 3 push ups i'm gonna form an opinion real quick

 

but can they surf?

 

viva la sandblasters!!!!

 

No................

 

Probably not. I'd take a gander and say the majority can barely swim, have the athletic ability of a 12 year old stamp collector, and would be skeeved out by seaweed and fish.

 

so to define it more clearly, another stipulation of the hipster syndrome is no athletic skills/experience?

 

I am with the general anti-hipster sentiment here but what does being gay, in the pejorative sense that you are using it, have to do with it??? If you are so secure in your -10000 hetero sexuality, WTF difference does it make to you?