Dorkiest thing you do

Awesome!

As I see a good wave coming sometimes I'll rock on my board like it's a bucking bronco and make a lasso motion before I start paddling for it. It's gotten some laughs, and hey, it just feels kinda natural.

 

Of course dude, and if you're lucky the bubble will travel up your back and out the neck.

 

when i surf in general i make sorta a face you'd make when your like squeezing out a terd

 

Ahhhh, hydro-flatulence therapy, works wonders on the ole back / neck region

 

Hahaha yes it does, and it honestly makes me chuckle when it happens, still.

 

It's great when you have to actually pull the neck of your suit to create an opening for the fumes to escape. That's the true sign of a good wetsuit...the real test.

 

Never realized this until someone was taking pics of me in the water, I have the uncontrollable urge to have my tongue hanging out my mouth from the drop in all the way to the exit

 

Michael Jordan?

You surf????

 

Something I unconsciously do is I piss my suit, but it always signifies a good set coming in. Its so weird.
I'll just be sitting there, then I get an urge to take a small piss. I piss, then usually less than 30 seconds later a good set will roll in. This happens 95% of the time. And it will usually happen like 3-4 times per session. I swear my body is preparing for flight or fight before my mind and eyes even know there is a good set coming in.
I really have never made any mention of this to my buddies in the line up for whatever reason. Does this or anything similar happen to anyone else???

 

Hopefully you pull from the back of the neck and not right under your chin / nose, that could cause a life threatening situation

 

no. i finish it with the sound of many mortals applauding my insane surfing skills.

 

Yeah, especially when I surf after work when my feet have been sweating in socks all day and it gets slippery even on a freshly waxed board. I don't know if it's just me with sweaty feet, but rubbing wax underneath helps get some extra grip

 

As if I were quoting Saving Silverman, when I see a potential good wave coming a ways out I start;
"C'MOON c'mon c'mon c'mon c'moooon C'MON c'mon C'MOOOOONNN" usally just to be disappointed.

 

You might be onto something here.

In my case the small piss turns into a long piss that I have no chance of stopping before the inevitable set of the day rolls in mid-stream. How I get my timing so off so often is beyond me.

 

I am old and battered, therefore I am the dork you see on the beach doing his pre-surf stretching routine. A little yoga, some kempo stretches, etc. I try to keep it short, but I know everyone in the lineup is like, "Yo, there's the old guy getting ready to paddle out again". I am kinda superstitious about it, afraid I'll rupture an Achilles if I skip it. OCD.

Once I hit the water, it's all butter. I have had to cut off a lengthy piss in midstream due to an incoming set more than a few times. Maybe water attracts more water?

 

Two things: When I get a charlie horse in the back of my thigh when I've been bobbing like a bouy for a while without getting a wave, I'll turn and extend the leg, feel the muscles contract and spasm, and just roll off the board and yell "I'm hit!" No disrespect to any military folks, I just think its kind of funny. Even better with a little water in your mouth from going down.
Also, when one of your balls creeps into that 'upper deck' area where they should never be and you have to kind of lean the opposite direction and manually massage it back into the sack, I'll tell the guy nearest to me: "dude. One of my boys just went upper deck on me."

 

anyone else walk their shorter boards like a long board every now and then? I've ridden 5 on the nose of my fish quite a few times

 

So you pee while riding a wave? That's actually amazing. Peeing while surfing. Or maybe it's just the equivalent of walking and chewing gum?