Dumbest thing you've every heard in the water...

Discussion in 'All Discussions' started by 2FUN, Aug 5, 2016.

  1. 2FUN

    2FUN Well-Known Member

    May 10, 2016
    OK so surfing Jenness yesterday and as always its a beautiful overcrowded day with all the usual suspects that time of year. Grab the 9'6" and hit the water. Get some beautiful rides early and all is good. Then as the day goes on it gets more crowded EVERYWHERE inside the flags outside the flags, like I said normal summer day. So I see a wave, grab it turn right and start gliding down the line when all of a sudden a guy jumps up on the wave to my right... ok summer time and to be expected especially at Jenness.... then he turns LEFT.... ah ok.... I turn my board straight and try to avoid him but alas we knock boards..... R U kidding me? I turn to him and say " are you ok'?

    and he says to me...... " yea don't worry its a rental board"

    Oh its a rental board? Oh thank heavens I thought for a second I was gonna ruin that beautiful waterlogged dinged and chiped BIC POS you were riding and your day would be done!!! WTF!! I was speechless which doesnt happen that often. Thank GOD the glass job on my board is very thick! Not a scratch on the board.. but still... too funny(but not 2 fun...lol)
  2. LBCrew

    LBCrew Well-Known Member

    Aug 12, 2009
    A dude with a thick NY accent talking to his buddy about going to see a double header the day before...

    "I said... gimme two beahs, two dogs, and to pro-gramms. I'll be hea owll day."

  3. Tlokein

    Tlokein Well-Known Member

    Oct 12, 2012
    "I can't swim."
  4. rcarter

    rcarter Well-Known Member

    Jul 26, 2009
    You saw Frost in the water?
  5. Tlokein

    Tlokein Well-Known Member

    Oct 12, 2012
  6. headhigh

    headhigh Well-Known Member

    Jul 17, 2009
    I saw 2 or 3 frat guys pick a fight with an old guy fishing on crystal pier last fall. He was up there just minding his business and they insisted on being right under the pier and messing with his line. Usually I side with the surfer in this situation, and i'm talking 99.9% of the time, but it was tiny out, they were on foamies, and they were being obnoxious as sh*t. He looked like he lived a pretty hard life, and certainly earned the right to a little space to fish.

    They end up getting in a yelling match, cursing up a storm at each other, and the poor old man finally got fed up and left. The frat assholes went in like 10 minutes later after they were sure he was gone. The acted like they had won some kind of battle or something.

    I was disgusted. As hard as I tried to not let it bother me all that negativity def brought down my session.
  7. DawnPatrol321

    DawnPatrol321 Well-Known Member

    Mar 6, 2012
    HAHAHAHA got me crackin up on that one!
  8. seldom seen

    seldom seen Well-Known Member

    Aug 21, 2012
    I love watching people get stocked off the ocean in between waves...kids all happy, adults acting like kids, everyone getting smashed(by waves not alcohol) huge smiles even though they're kookin' the fock out...

    well, one day last year I saw a similar frat boy type, boston accent, cursing up a storm in the water and how do I say, like, fighting waves kinda...kept cursing really loud. I mean, I have a vile mouth at times, and I know it's not a family restaurant, but this guy was really obnoxious. I wanted to take his scalp, like, bad. But I just paddled away.

    Not the dumbest thing I've heard in da wata, but HH made me think of it. I fkn hate frat boys.
  9. Zeroevol

    Zeroevol Well-Known Member

    Jun 22, 2009
    Guy: Dude, something just hit my leg, I think it was a dolphin! Me: If a dolphin hit your leg, you would know it. It was probably a bluefish or small striper.
  10. Peajay4060

    Peajay4060 Well-Known Member

    Nov 14, 2011
    Last winter This guy o paddled out right in front of me and asked " Is this a good wave spot?"
  11. Mitchell

    Mitchell Well-Known Member

    Jan 5, 2009
    This is just on my mind because i heard it a few weeks ago:

    guy and girl both take off near the peak at the same time and get cross up as soon as they get to their feet her heading left, him heading right.


    "GOING LEFT! IM GOING LEFT! IM GOING LEFT!" at the top of her (ample) lungs.

    Him: (inaudible)

    They collide and paddle back out

    Her (so loud at least 30 nearby surfers nearby are subjected):

  12. 2FUN

    2FUN Well-Known Member

    May 10, 2016
    Last edited: Aug 5, 2016
  13. Banned for being awesome

    Banned for being awesome Well-Known Member

    Feb 17, 2012
    A kid asking me if I surf in contests. Ummm kid I am not sure what contests you watch but they ain't letting me in.
  14. scotty

    scotty Well-Known Member

    Aug 26, 2008
    Go to an ESA event this summer. If you have a credit card, your in. Into a conteste wiht 2 foot onshore conditions, that is.
  15. DawnPatrol321

    DawnPatrol321 Well-Known Member

    Mar 6, 2012
    After almost getting my head taken off by an 18-20 something year old SUP'er, I told him to "move it on down the beach and away from me, he said "I was here first". I replied, "Actually, no you weren't dipsh*t, I was the first one on the beach this morning, first one in the water, and first one to notice your dumb ass struggling to stand on that thing. Now move it down the beach before "someone" get's hurt.

    This is one of many occasions where i find a peak all by myself and have it dialed in for hours only to have some f*cknut with codependency issues come strolling down the beach of open peaks to park it right on top of me, the only guy around. This aggression will not stand...
    Last edited: Aug 5, 2016
  16. headhigh

    headhigh Well-Known Member

    Jul 17, 2009
    The ol' pack mentality. I always want to say "Just becasue I'm getting some 50 ft. away from where you're sitting doesn't mean the waves are better where I am, it means you don't surf enough!". But, I don't really talk to people while I'm surfing so if they paddle over I casually catch every decent wave that comes through, leaving them with nothing.
    Last edited: Aug 5, 2016
  17. DawnPatrol321

    DawnPatrol321 Well-Known Member

    Mar 6, 2012
    Yeah, depends on my mood, sometimes I'll make sure they don't get any waves or at least make it a hassle, other times it's not worth the energy and I just paddle as far down the beach as I can till they are out of range. Sometimes it's just not worth ruining the good vibe after a couple solid hours of surfing.
  18. Riley Martin's Disgruntled Neighbor

    Riley Martin's Disgruntled Neighbor Well-Known Member

    Aug 22, 2012
    Kid on the inside getting a beating and it looked like he wasn't even trying to get back out. I got a wave and paddled back out by him and he asked me if I had seen his Iphone. He had it in some waterproof case and was tucking it inside the leg on his shorty. Not sure how it ended up for him, but I was rooting for the ocean to eat the phone.
  19. ScobeyviIIe

    ScobeyviIIe Well-Known Member

    Nov 3, 2015
    "Party Wave", as they drop in on me
  20. Peajay4060

    Peajay4060 Well-Known Member

    Nov 14, 2011
    wow. that is really dumb.