Dumbest thing you've every heard in the water...

I'm going to use that but with a Russian accent.
Did you go out at all this morning?

 

Even if I were, I got my own place in town! No time to be sexing it up in a place like that. I can imagine the areas of where one might go bug bites, due to sexual activities in those ****hole rooms!

 

You're walking toward the beach carrying your board (or in the beach parking lot with your board on the car), when someone comes up and asks you, "Goin' surfin'?"
Reminds of the Jeff Foxworthy joke about driving into the gas station with two flat tires...
...Here's your sign...

 

imagine how dumb and zoned out people asking those questions think surfers are, though. they dont think they're asking a dumb question... but almost always get a 'tarded "uhhhh..." or a blank stare for a response. and i realize it may be very difficult to say anything at all after a good sesh, especially if it's after a good winter sesh. you're body's pumping all kinds of endorphins, brain replaying the highlights, smily securely frozen into the face.
all that may very well feed the stereotype of a surfer being somewhat of a mild retard.
consider, however, answering briefly and as agile-ey as possible. a lot of the above questions can be answered with "yes"...examples:

"going surfing?"
yes

"seen my iphone?"
yes. (no real need to elaborate further)

"isn't it cold?"
yes

"does antifreeze keep you warm?"
yes

likewise, consider answering in an abrupt "no" to some of them, to add linguistic variety to your verbal repertoire.
after all, saying "yes" to EVERYTHING may seem also borderline of a retard. some examples...

"remember me?"
no

"is this a good spot?"
no

"was that a dolphin?"
no

THERE... with practice, these two responses may very well become your "go two" (cause there're two) for close to ANY situation you may find yourself in. you may even be compelled to use them at home. as long as you dont look like a full- retard. let others carry around the dumb look and try to figure out what you meant and why.
that is no longer of your concern.

practice with a buddy, and get those two responses to the automatic level where they belong.
some of the practice questions may included but not limited to:

"does here work better at high tide?"
"how big is your board?"
"have you been surfing a long time?"
"did you take out the trash?"
"is that a good wetsuite?"
"do you pop up right away?"
"is that a good wave?"
"am i doing something wrong?"

see if you can come up with more! and remember - not looking like a retard takes practice, but it can also be a lot of fun.

 

A guy and a girl in a car with steamy windows, and you hear her say, "Done so soon?".

 

It was during Hurricane Bertha, and as the swell started dropping in size the line-up got kinda crowded. Some guy paddled out into the thick crowd and said some other spot was going off. I turned to him and said,"Then why the hell did you come here?"

 

"Yeah, I'm done. You weren't worth the extra effort."

 

whenever some uses one hand to look like a wave and the other hand to "finger surf" it to demonstrate what move they just did.

that makes me want to go back in time and murder their ancestors as children so that person would never be born. sorry, did i go a little too far with that?

 

That's a good one.

 

A few years ago, two of us were standing at the back of my rig in the OSV of TPTSNBN just watching the waves & waiting. Bunch of boards strapped onto the roof.

A middle-aged guy & his two same-age female companions were walking past us between us & the water; they veered over & said, "Do y'all surf here?" Ok.... not too bad. Then they hit us with the winner: "Do y'all know what time the dolphins come out?"

 

This is an all too popular dumb thing people say. "I just looked and it's going off in ____", while you are surfing someplace else (usually not less than a few minutes away). If it's so good, just go there? The most annoying and dumb thing people say in the water.

 

"you should be on a longboard because the waves are small"....usually said by some dumb old fat man that can't ride anything else.

 

There's a reef????

[video=youtube_share;6spBu2XAk4A]http://youtu.be/6spBu2XAk4A[/video]

 

You're actually not too far off. It's about 5pm at high tide that they show up around here. I'm not saying they on the way back from work, but that's when I've seen them on various occasions. 5pm and high tide.. Go figger.

 

Walkin back to the lot with two boards bc I wanted to test one on less than stellar conditions and see if I could get away with it (no, btw)

Anyway some old fat guy walking with his wife and their stupid little dog (and I think those little retractable leashes have to be one of the most immasculating things on earth - no offense) says, "you surf with two boards???"

I'm pretty sure he was trying to be a smart ass, sometimes it's hard to tell

 

Commuting from the aquarium where they telepathically brainwash patrons to be dumber than they already is

 

"I'm gonna catch one more"

When someone else says it, it comes across like they are entitled to the next wave

When I say it, I typically sit there for 20 minutes before catching the "last" wave. I try not to even think it

 

Don't forgot the extra 20 min bc, "that one didn't count"

 

Glad to hear I wasn't the only one that witnessed that tantrum. And as always happens on a day that' s total mush even by Assateague standards. C'mon September!

 

ahahahaha 9 to 5 at the aquary