dumping in the water?

sea turtle dump

I prefer the turtle dump. dig a hole in the sand, stick your bare ass in it, cover yourself with a nice neat towel and lay those stinky eggs while smiling at everyone on the beach. no one ever knows

 

and just think that water is up your nose and in your mouth ear plug and a ball gag for me

 

I agree with you completely. Whenever I'm feeling sad and alone, I'll fill up my excretory system with various meats and cheeses, take a laxative, and head to the local swimming pool. After relieving myself somewhat conspicuously, I like to sit on the edge watching my turds wreak havoc.

 

I think Bobbyg's turtle method is the best. Every convenient when their is large crowds on the beach and in the water. To be truthful with the people that have actually done this, you guys are some sick sons of b!tches!!

 

bonus points if you cover your your little leatherbacks by shifting sand with your feet, and crawl back into the break with your board on your back

 

As a water quality professional I have to say - Stop pooping in the ocean, it sets a bad example!

Poop joke:

Three deer hunters drinking all night, one, Joe is very hung over the next morning. For the morning hunt, the other two post him at a tree and will check on him latter. One hunter shoots a deer and takes it back to the tree to gut. Joe, at the tree has fallen asleep while taking a dump and is still leaning against the tree with him pants down.
“Hey let’s put the deer guts under Joe’s ass”. They drag the deer back to the cabin and return to get Joe.
When they see Joe, He is flipping out and says to him friends, “You will not believe this guys, and I was so hung over I **** my guts out! But, by the grace of God and these two fingers, I was able to put them back”!

 

A guy calls his doc and says: "My wife has this problem, everyday she has a bowel movement at the same time, 9am. The doc replies saying, " that's alright, it's healthy to be regular." The guy says, "you don't understand doc, we don't get out of bed until 10!"

 

Once I was doing a dawn patrol, and I didn't know of any places that were open yet with a bathroom, but everything "dropped a level" right as I was paddling out. There was no way it was staying in. I ended up having to let it go twice and I was mortified by the experience. I will never do it again. Plus I eventually had to get out and find the closest bathroom (it isn't very safe to drive when you're millimeters away from crapping yourself) at the Coffee shop a mile away.

 

My first time on this forum and this is the first thread I come to...Figures.

 

bobbyg.............I laughed so hard I almost sharded.

 

I'm in CR right now. last wednesday i went to langosta for a DP sesh, about 6 AM. had to take a dump as soon as i arrived, and thanks to this thread, i had the confidence to do the deed right on the sand near a small tree.. what a good session that was

 

yepp

gotta admit i have. . .but i was also like 8 years old just swimming with my dad in the ocean and i really, really had to go and didnt wanna have to tell him i had to go than get out. it was turtleing, prarey dogging, whatever you wanna call it. i was clenching but enough was enough i tried my best to keep it in, i really did but than i just said **** it im doing this. i swam away alittle and did work. never seen anything like it. when i say did work i mean I DID WORK. thats my story but i personally wouldnt do it again.

great thread ! some quality story's for sure. especially the wetsuit ones, brave souls you are. good laughs.

 

Personally............. I wouldn't want to come up from a duck dive to find a log in my face..........Beats ****tin all over yourself though.

 

You people are all a bunch of sick perverted people. A bunch of grown men talking feces............

 

Two sharks ,Father and son , are swimming around looking for food and they see some surfers. " Lets go dad , I'm hungry!
" SLow down son !, first lets go swim in circles around them "
"why dad?"
"they taste waaaay better with the **** out of them "

 

I prefer to go in the water. No wipe and it clears out the line up. Plus I like the smell of my own brew.

 

Ight man this ****t is funny but com on mann i posted a thread just like this bout 3 months ago and i got banned fo it so that fuccked up and i said da same thing bout the **** zipper on da back of the wetsuit

 

yall copyin my old thread ey??

 

this is from '07 ...

 

Haha, my brother had a case of the squirts and let loose at Cape Henry. Kinda looked like a squid shot its ink.