Emass: Most Prolific Poster?

Haha this is comical. What beginners have I ridiculed? Pot calling the kettle black son. 95% of what I got when I came here was ridicule. The majority of this board tears apart "kooks" as you call all of them as soon as they surface and ask a question, unless they're female then you're holding doors and pulling out chairs for them. I can count on one hand the people I rip on: BCN for disrespectful commentary towards wounded warriors which should not be condoned by any of you, and then the couple of posters who go out of their way to rip on me first.

There are more than a dozen forum members I now correspond with regularly. Some of them are mainly giving me very helpful advice, others we discuss New England breaks and conditions, some have messages me to ask why I like a board that I ride or with regard to fitness and training, and there's one I even discuss good books to read with.

If the admin wants to ban me that's his prerogative and I'll accept and respect it. Why? Because he owns the effin joint. Few on this board pay any rent to him and if you do, it's still a drop in the bucket for his budget and wouldn't excuse any damage to his website's repute and profitability. There are some posters on here that do nothing but belittle others unless you're talking about things like hops and barley which makes them perk up and forget how poor their general disposition is.

Gaffer, aren't you one of the ones that chastised my extended posts and said you were too busy and disinterested to read them? Well I scrolled by your soliloquy in the same fashion and got blisters on my thumb in the process. I did see your line about ego since it was quoted in later posts by others. Awful ironic that the self-proclaimed west coast swami projects his issues on others. I've tried to throw good nature your way and thanks for some of your knowledgable posts but it was returned to sender. That's fine. It's amusing to watch you pout and go silent for days at a time when the mic isn't in your hands and you're not center stage. I'll read your post one of the next times I'm on the hopper.

I'm curious why do you guys get so amped up about what I have to say? It's a fact that most to nearly all of what others think, say, and do is because of them and not those external. What in yourselves are you ashamed or lacking in content with, or who in your past has wronged you that my words cast a similar shadow to? Is it my stoke that makes you pissed off that you lost yours a while ago? Is it the freedom and flexibility that I've worked for years to have that allows me to dedicate much of my time to surfing better when your ball and chain keeps you down from the weight of your Honey-Do list? Whatever it is, I probably have nothing to do with it and as far as I know, I've never wronged you since I've never met you and don't know a thing about you except your avatars and forum names.

For the guys that primarily lurk, you can stay under your rock as you're basically takers and not equal givers on this forum. Not saying I make this world go round here though I do contribute and amount to at least a neutral karmic balance. Lone Star buoy, it's unfortunate I rained on your parade and you take the lower road and typecast a whole state. I do it in jest with Jersey but you seem to actually mean it. I love Texas and Texans and spent a few years there after visiting for nearly a decade. The whole state is great and all of its people, although Austin is infested with non-native transplants who've vastly changed the complexion of what those who've never visited "hear it's a really cool place". While not exclusive to California transplants, they make up the majority of judgmental folk after migrating there for the recession-proof economy and house in the hills at 1/3 the cost of those in their previous gutter state with taxation to the tune of 48%. Not a blanket statement, but one based on years of empirical evidence.

I've made it no secret at any point as to the newness of my surfing endeavors. Instead, I've actually done what you wish all former beginners (and some in the lineup for years) had done which is heavily research surfing etiquette, technique, oceanography and culture on their way to continued progress and therefore, functionality in the lineup and on shores. Looking at my one paragraph summary of the running jokes on SI, it's easy to observe my humility by my naming a dozen of the things I've been chided about. After being told by a majority of those who are still opposed to me that banter or hazing on here is meant in jest and should be taken with a grain of salt, I typically laugh off any further persecution. At times I'll still fire back when it crosses the line but it's with wit and not psychotic rage. I'll check ego at the door, but I'm keeping my self-respect wherever I go.

We've got posters on here making fun of handicapped veterans that fought for their freedom, others who are threatening people with knives and assault with deadly weapons (which they actually seem serious about!), yet some of them are the ones campaigning for the banning of others. Like I said before, pulling that move smacks of the kid who used to talk trash about your mother until you cracked him in the grill, then he had his mother go and sue you. Gutless.

What is it that you guys want me to post? Make up your minds. You yawn at my previous novels (that some actually commend) yet piss and moan when I shorten them to a few sentences. You tell me to be less serious but then freak out when I engage in the constant comedy on this forum. You told me I was too analytical and committed when I'm sure some of you wish you had the same mojo that I have for anything I ever focus on. You concern yourselves with my circadian rhythms and time of posting, what I eat for dinner and where I eat it, and the list goes on. Me thinks you'll never be happy because this has little if anything to do with me. No extrovert in history has ever been liked or approved of by all. Simply because they're too different from the majority and human nature is to judge and fear what they don't understand. Extroverts are instead subject to a polarity of proponents and opponents, typically equal in number. For every hater on SI, I've got at least one other pissing their pants in laughter (or shotting their wetsuit) or thanking me for a post.

Yeah, this post is a throwback to my longer ones, but you guys asked for it and provoked a response. It's not me firing back at you with anger. It's more a suggestion for an open mind and to both look at all the facts and yourselves. Do you and I'll do me. I won't get in the way of you doing you, and I'll keep doing me because it serves me quite well. I'm having a blast with surfing and getting to a fairly competent level at a consistent pace. Enjoy your weekend buoys. Hope you score some stoke in the sea.

 

In the classic book/movie The Outsiders, Soda Pop Curtis gets stuck in the middle between Darry's and Ponyboy's constant bickering. Soda Pop loves both of them like brothers, because they are, in fact, his brothers. Both Darry and Ponyboy look towards Soda Pop for support during their squabbles. This puts Soda in quite the predicament. It also effects Two-Bit Matthews and Johnny Cade. Steve is an @@###^% and Dally Winston is too tough to be concerned with such problems.

Here on SwellInfo.com, some people like Spicoli and also like some of his detractors. This senseless bickering on a surf predictin' site has put said personages in the same position as Soda Pop Curtis. And that's not fair to these people - good people who just want to be mild entertained with surf related or non-surfing related discussions while they "rest up" for their next porn site excursion.

You people need to calm it down. If you don't like someone then don't read their posts. If you just can't help yourself from reading posts from those you claim to dislike, then there is an IGNORE feature on this here site. Learn it, use it, and love it. Ahhh, but you can't stand to be left out of the party, can youse?

What has to happen to bring peace and harmony? Does Spicoli have to stab a drunk hipster in a park late at night and catch a freight train out-of-town?

If you are looking to learn how to surf on a computer then you're missing the whole point of surfing. And this talk of banning people is blasphemous. What are youse guys North Korean? This here is America, we got guys like Blaster o' Sand fighting for this country and you guys are talking about censorship? This isn't the 1950's, in the Soviet Union, waiting in line for bathroom tissue. That kind of talk is disgraceful and General Eisehhower would flip his lid hearing such talk.

Now, you people be cool and respect others' rights to freely express themselves in this land of the free and home of the brave. If one person drives you away from a friggin surf predictin' website then how are you going to function in the real, non-cyber, world?

 

Gaffer Nailed it for sure! Emass spouts nonsense about things he knows nothing about. Emass you joined and were very polite in asking for help and tips although you had lengthy posts. Then for some reason you became a "big boy" behind your keyboard and decided to spew moronic 80's North Shore type talk and offer advice on things like shaping (as Gaffer said if you have never mowed foam then shut the **** up! Now you got your little ***got sidekick AO/OO on board with you and you think your even bigger and badder. I know every summer this forum turn in to a ***** fest since it's flat but this year you two idiots are taking the cake! Keep up your big talk and keep letting everyone know what board and wetsuit you use so when one of them takes you up on your offer to "come to my break" they will be able to easily spot you and teach you a real lesson.

 

Too many words. Definitely not worth reading. STFU

 

hey man i thought we talked about making things more easy on other peoples eyes. i didnt read much wtf you said but i mean sweet jesus it would take a day and a half and i dont think anyone else is maybe idk ? just calm down

 

What is it, six words longer than the post from your idol the west coast swami? You call me a douche then tap out due to illiteracy. One of the easiest ways to defeat an opponent is to sustain your onslaught at a level they cannot maintain. Your selective reading proves who the real joke is. That goes for you too sandblasters. Oh yeah, as for the "calm down" advice, that would be helpful for you and these other transparent propaganda pushing gnats. I'm spending the weekend in the bliss of sun and stoke while you buoys have severe IBS over who knows what. Take some Mylanta and good luck!

 

Okay Douche!

 

Thank you Z Gaff

And I def consider you as a friend, too brother.

 

are your fingers on crack cocaine?

 

I always wondered "who listens to the guys who have more posts on SI than waves ridden in their life?"

 

Apparently more than you'd like to think. My wave count is getting up there. The first several hundred weren't very long rides but they're good & plenty now brah! Close to even with posts now.

 

Gaffer, I'm loungin from 4hrs of driving in the last 10 with 3hrs of surfing in between that so I'll have to shelf your latest love letter (along with your other autobiography I've yet to peruse) for that next trip to the throne. I crushed a huge brunch in between sessions today so I should be hitting the john soon. Will let you know if I get to your manifestos if I don't pick up the issue of Field & Stream instead.

 

Ya brah, that futile one-liner makes about as much sense as a mesh umbrella and fireproof matches. Keep persevering though, your comedy and sarcasm can only go up from here.

 

You're quick, and clever. Maybe you can start a secret society called DENSA where the selectivity is high, with qualifying IQ between 66-74 (roughly half of MENSA requirements for your half of a brain).

 

this thread is awesome. I'm not going to read any of this sh*t, but it's awesome to just look at. Like staring out to sea, so much... of nothing.

 

what a waste of server space.

anybody surf RI last night? magical. rainbows, sunset, newport bridge lit up in the background. i shed a tear. i salute all of you who shared this moment with me.

[video=youtube;zV29Dl08AYc]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zV29Dl08AYc[/video]

 

Embedding videos ain't exactly server conservation. All hip-hop needs to be first approved by Erock before appearing on SI threads.

Was in RI this morning and word was Friday night was bomb. Saturday was doable if it hadn't been over-crowded. There's a real variance in function of crowds and lineups no matter where you go and it's a definite drag when it's not conducive to enjoyment. Better than nothing though and the red crap in the water wasn't terrible this time. Last weekend was a different story, but then again the waves and sunset you describe were present then too.

 

My dik is clever in your moms mouth

 

This here tells me your priorities are all fluxed up, son.

Get about 10 years under your belt and then you'll realize why people roll their eyes when they hear some guy who's been surfing for a couple months talking like he's a vet.

Just my $.02.

Not meant to be a personal attack, your a good turd Emass, just need to lay off the meth.

 

Kenny Powers, you were EXCELLENT in This Is The End. Your exit speech when getting exiled from the house gave me hypoxia, 8-minute abs, and made me piss my wetsuit (hit the cinema right after a sunset sesh). Your EBAD series is masterful.

Let me know your suggestions for reclassification of my priorities. I'm a lifelong learner and will always be a progress work. One of my strongest beliefs is that one needs to have their hierarchy of priorities fully congruent with their core values. If you're talking about my voracious seafood consumption, I gotta get my omegas and whole food protein. I'm watching the mercury content brah. The froyo is all-natural and with pure granola, flax, and sliced fruit added, it's a hearty meal in itself disguised as dessert. Grinding on those two delights are definitely in line with my core value of health and longevity.

The line about power surfing was light-hearted. I'm improving at a fast rate due to dedication, but would hardly be considered a power surfer by anyone who's been in the game for a week. No delusions here. It's important to empower yourself through positive affirmations, however, a grip on the realities of the physical world is also quite essential for success. Some primitive versions of a snap and cutback are not far off in my future, but no trained eye would denote my current surfing as containing much horsepower.

Regarding excessive neoprene, there were dudes in hooded 4/3s when it was 73 in the air and 68-70 in the water. Either those cats have major circulatory issues or they're vampires. Not quite sure if vamps wear wettys although Pee Wee could clue us in on that as he's a HUGE Twilight fan. But yeah, mad excess neoprene on those penguins. They must have been sweating nutz.

You and yankee must conduct sleep studies or have narcolepsy because you're hell bent on the zest for life I have being the direct result of exogenous stimulant use. It's pure stoke Kenneth. C'mon brahs, you know I wouldn't withhold partay favors from the SI faithful. Everybody eats!! Truth be told, I didn't sleep Saturday night because I was driving to another state to charge swell at dawn. Did so and headed home to rest as I was doing the same this morning. Went to bed about 11 and woke at 1230 feeling refreshed and too stoked for DP to resume my slumber. Had one of my best sessions ever this morning due to enthusiasm. By the time I rest my head tonight, (perhaps following a sunset sesh!) I'll have mustered 90 minutes of sleep in 60 hours. Feel better right now than I did last time I slept for 10 hours, so you can see the true extent to the power of stoke!

Sometimes you have some really good input on this newsgroup circus and your two cents is actually two bucks which is a coin in Canada called a "tooney". PB&J, you may now step in and lay verbal waste to the True North.