I've **** my suite multiple times. Happens youknow. Once in bay head I took a nice right and just pulled my suite down after and blew my trombone like crazy. Paddled out and told my buddy who started cracking up. "You just **** on the inside?!????" Unrelated...sorta.... went running after sandy and got hassled by cop who thought I was a looter. Took a bunch of time..... when I started running again I had to go bad. Didn't make it to marlins (bar) but I **** behind it I was cutting it so close. It was all steamy. That was a funky night.
took a dump in BELMAR, NJ at the Dunkin' Donuts...it was pretty GNAR since they force you to buy a donut first
how to get first dibs at the peak at any spot: -paddle out -hop off your board -take trunks or suite off -proceed to take a nasty dump -announce to the whole lineup that you just took a crazy poop within feet of all of them -they will all get disgusted and paddle away from you -nobody will bother to kick your azz because they don't even want to go near your poop water -and there you have it, an amazing peak all to yourself!
for anyone never having a incident I cant even explain how much it sucks. unrelated to surfing went for a run once about year ago. it was dark out about 7 o clock and im doing my laps and about a mile from my house I feel a rumble in my stomach. get to 3/4 mi from home and the rumble gets worse, like a baby is punching your bowels worse. 1/2mi I start to panic oh sh1t I might honestly sh1t myself right now wtf do I do so many thoughts are racing through my head and its getting really hard to keep this sh1t in my azz. 1/4 mi from home and boom some slip out and I feel it trickle down my leg. now mind you this whole time I was running not walking, sh1t limping or whatever I was still running like my bowels were clean.. anyway once that first squirt got out I said fu(k it and ran to the side of someguys house(who I later found out was a cop) and literally blow the sh1t out my azz all over his flowers(accidental spot check). anyway it was the worst/manliess feeling ever when your bare di(k machine gun sh11ting all over the place I felt like I belonged in the wild after that. so I ditch my undies(bad move) and run home, well the sh1t platoon hasn't all left base together and now about a 1/8 mi from my house i funked my pants up so bad that sh1t was just exploding out of me, im making weird twitch faces, i smell like straight poop i finally get home AND I STILL SH1T on the toilet. i always wondered how the funk it was possible to hold that much poo in my body. i end up telling my fam, friends, etc and the only one who thought it was gross was my mom all my friends thought it was cool as fu(k. PS: the poo was diarrhea, not the snake/log lookin like poo's PPS: i looked it up cause i thought i was some kind of fu(ked up human being for shizzin my self and i found out its called runner trots...supposedly people in marathons and other long races get them all the time PPS: i hope the cop that i fu(kin bombed the sh1t out of his flowers doesn't see this so this doesn't incriminate me, suppsodely he was puuuuretty pissed
