Got a Ticket for Surfing

"Bailiff! Whack his pee pee!"

 

I think Mark Twain wrote, "Pigs gwine to be pigs". or something like that.

 

Just go in front of the judge and say, "I plead insanity cause I'm just crazy about that schitt!"

 

1995. july. hurricane bertha. very light onshore. seaside park, nj. early afternoon, 4-6 foot. big slopey peaks into a rippable inside section all connecting to the racetrack shorebreak kickout just before the beach. a long beachbreak wave of jersey juice. i'm all alone for over an hour doing this right in front of the lifeguard stand.

then all of a sudden they start whistling like blue in the face. yes, after over an hour and i'm stoked out of my mind they start whistling. no one's swimming, I've gone nowhere near another human being.

I refuse to turn around and sit facing the horizon. now all these other surfers paddle out and tell me they want me to come in. next it's the police on the beach. it's the j street surf beach, no escape.

I milk it until i'm bored and cold. finally I paddle in. the police and guards are all aggro as I slowly walk up the beach, and the locals all ages, male/female are really giving it to the police/lifeguards, they're all in their faces questioning them hard. I don't say a word.

i'm handed a ticket for "failure to obey lifeguard."

next morning I bust in on the lifeguard building first thing when they meet up. there's like 15 of them. I look them all up and down and state "what you did was wrong. I was catching waves for over an hour before you started whistling, and I will not pay this ticket, you are wrong."

they say nothing. I walk out.

I go to court, the prosecutor calls me over, and they tell me I can go.
I don't even stay or see the judge enter. zero fine, zero court costs, nothing, i'm there like 10 minutes.

civil disobedience.

I still have the ticket

 

1995. july. hurricane bertha. very light onshore. seaside park, nj. early afternoon, 4-6 foot. big slopey peaks into a rippable inside section all connecting to the racetrack shorebreak kickout just before the beach. a long beachbreak wave of jersey juice. i'm all alone for over an hour doing this right in front of the lifeguard stand.

then all of a sudden they start whistling like blue in the face. yes, after over an hour and i'm stoked out of my mind they start whistling. no one's swimming, I've gone nowhere near another human being.

I refuse to turn around and sit facing the horizon. now all these other surfers paddle out and tell me they want me to come in. next it's the police on the beach. it's the j street surf beach, no escape.

I milk it until i'm bored and cold. finally I paddle in. the police and guards are all aggro as I slowly walk up the beach, and the locals all ages, male/female are really giving it to the police/lifeguards, they're all in their faces questioning them hard. I don't say a word.

i'm handed a ticket for "failure to obey lifeguard."

next morning I bust in on the lifeguard building first thing when they meet up. there's like 15 of them. I look them all up and down and state "what you did was wrong. I was catching waves for over an hour before you started whistling, and I will not pay this ticket, you are wrong."

they say nothing. I walk out.

I go to court, the prosecutor calls me over, and they tell me I can go.
I don't even stay or see the judge enter. zero fine, zero court costs, nothing, i'm there like 10 minutes.

civil disobedience.

I still have the ticket

 

Cheech and Chong, good stuff!

 

Good one dogg!

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SorQB4tzqf0

 

I remember a few years ago when they were rebuilding the outfall pipe and extending it offshore at 63rd, and had that pier up, cops were always being a pain .

It was a solid break and had a great peak right off the pier, inside of the 300 foot no no zone. Which, by the way, was explicitly marked with plenty of big signs "no surfing within 300 feet of pier."

So me and my closest 20 or so vee bee surfing buddys are all out dawn patrolling the north side on saturday in the summer. Solid chest high on the sets. about half the crowd is actually obeying the rules for once and staying outside of the restricted area. The rest of us are too eager and/or dumb to stay off the main peak right off the pier, and because it's holding a solid wall with 100+ yard rights on the sets, we ignore the rules.

Around 7 am or so, over the dune walks barney fife and some female cop. Most everyone scatters out of the verboten area, with the exception of two boogie boarders. The police roll up and start on the whistles, motioning for the two to come in. One paddles north, and the female cop follows. They are the only speed bumps out, so they're hosed. After about ten minutes or so of arm waving and whistle blowing, boogie man #1 dutifully heads in and proceeds to receive what I can only imagine was a lame-ass lecture and a ticket. Boogie man 2 says "fvck that" and stays out. Ten more minutes go by, and whistling increases in frequency and duration. Boogie man 2 has exclaimed to the line up that under no circumstances is he going in, and he will wait them out.

Ten more minutes go by, with a now almost constant police whistle blowing and arm waving. I am becoming impressed with the officer's ability to blow so hard and not pass out. Boogie man 2 has said "fvck the po-lice" and returned to blatantly riding waves in the restricted zone.

By then, the cops have had it. The male, who later appeared to be in his late 50's, takes off his gun belt and shoes, and starts swimming to boogie man 2, who snags a wave right in front of the cop. The cop eventually grabs the offender, and while looking like a drowned rat, holds on to the board for dear life. I can hear boogie man 2 say "calm down...I couldn't hear your whistle..." as they paddle in. I see him get a ticket, which he defiantly throws in the trash right in front of the cops, and proceeds to paddle back out, although this time he stays out of the restricted zone.

Hands down the most lame thing I have ever seen regarding cops and surfing.

Gotta love vee bee!

 

^^^ That is hliarious that the cop actually swam out!

 

Years ago in DE they were doing replnishment or something and they had a section closed off near the jetty. They actually had a rope from the shore out to a buoy to block off the area. Waves were breaking right at the rope, so there were surfers on both sides. Here comes the po po and calls everyone on the wrong side of the rope out of the water, I happened to be on the right side when he came up. He had them all up on the beach issuing citations and when I finally got out of the water and I came walking by, he tells me to sit down. I said, for what? He claimed I was on the wrong side and he even saw me. All of the guys sitting there all said, no, that I was not on that side. The officer continued to give me a hard time and then finally let me go.

Another run in with park rangers, it was about 5:30am and I wrapped my towel around myself to change into my wetsuit. Ranger pulls up and starts yelling at me and telling me he how he could give me a ticket for indecent exposure. I said, I have boxers on under my towel, I wasn't nude. He continued to rant for a bit and then finally left.

Sorry, I know they are lame stories, but there ya go

 

Moral of the story, those schitt pipes were essential to waves in VB. The pier they put out on 79th made it easy to get out. I could walk out in ankle to knee deep on big azz days. They shoulda left them up or kept the pipes. BASTIDS!

 

Bwah haha I thought the same thing.

Long time ago some uppity sh*theads wanted to ban surfing at FB because some kook ran into a touron. Fortunatey a large # of people showed up and demanded their right to use the ocean. These days FB law enforcement seem to be resonable as long as you aren't being a total a**. The surf community polices itself for the most part. The problems are generally with the tourons.

Loneome, Dude, It sux you got hassled by officer duechewadd. I'd have to go to court if it were me.I've never been good at bowing down to authority.

Riley,we lost the war for states rights remember? My great granpappy told me when I was a youngin', first they'll take yer slaves, then sell yer property to uppity white folks from off and then they'll ban surfin an such and make u pay for parking. He wuz right.

 

Just tell them you are an illegal and don't have a SSN. They will just release you any way.

 

Rape them too !! Whoo Hoo !!

 

Exactly. You walk for that too.

 

You know it brah! The damn big-government liberals haven't ruined vee bee (yet). Seriously tho, I've heard about beach passes and such in jersey...what a crock!

 

I remeber that one at 79th too! Both of them held a great wave when there was a bump in the water...wish they had left them up. I caught some good swells at both. I think the best part was right after they took the one at 79th down and I was busy feeling sorry for myself, the started the one at 63rd.

I don't know about you, but the north end has pretty much sucked for the past few years. Significantly smaller and closes out a lot more than other spots. I've caught it truly good only one time (this past spring) in the past few years whereas I've scored the pier, 1st street and kookatan numerous times over during the same time period.

 

I remeber that one at 79th too! Both of them held a great wave when there was a bump in the water...wish they had left them up. I caught some good swells at both. I think the best part was right after they took the one at 79th down and I was busy feeling sorry for myself, the started the one at 63rd.

I don't know about you, but the north end has pretty much sucked for the past few years. Significantly smaller and closes out a lot more than other spots. I've caught it truly good only one time (this past spring) in the past few years whereas I've scored the pier, 1st street and kookatan numerous times over during the same time period.

 

For the old bag that ratted you out, get a tuba and practice the 2 note jaws theme. Then just follow her around whenever she's on public property. If anyone asks tell them it's her theme music. Nothing illegal about that. Will take time for her to get restraining order, and will be pure gold when she has to tell the judge why.

Maybe throw in a polka when you get your chops down.