Hello, Look'n for some surf buddies

I don't mind the computer it gives me a voice where it wasn't heard previously. Phones on the other hand seem to bother my aging mind. I was watching a clip of “Love American Style” on youtube with Karen Valentine and Davy Jones (Monkeys) and she was using her princess phone. Cool, I thought the old days when women were phone talkers and men were beer drinkers and skirt chasers. What happened? Guys now seem to act like girls text'n, gossiping, chatty little *****es, smart phone **** heads, raised by their moms, sitting down to piss, wtf?

I remember being young leaving the house not knowing where I would end up, no calls were made I just showed up back home a few days later, everything was fine. My parents didn't know where I was and I sure didn't tell them. Friends called the “house”, the parents took a message, they worked for me, son.

I remember going into NYC getting separated from my crew, meeting people, smoking bud, drinking beer/whiskey, getting some “summer nights” and hitchhiking home in the morning sun, what was bad about that? Good times I say! On a trip to Hatteras we were pulled over b4 we were out of Dirty Jersey, had a fender bender early in NC, made it to the light house beach, so f-d up we couldn't even sit on a board much less ride a wave, started to thunder down rain, retreated to the vehicle, cracked a suds, lit a jay, pissed in the parking lot. Yep, we were caught, yanked into the HRIC (head ranger in charge) office, yet he was cool, let us go, on a BS story, he knew what. We drank ol grand dad to celebrate, funny thing though, “no f-n phone calls were made” my mamma, my girl friend, they still don't know. Drove across country went skiing with a friend in Colorado, dropped a post card 2 weeks later just to say, “Hey, I'm alive”. That was normal, son.

Getting lost was an adventure, a right of passage, f-n fun. These f-n kids have to upload selfies to their girlfriends, from their go pro, just because they went in the ocean for 2 hrs and now they r surfers. Get some balls boys! Do me a favor and grow some hair on your vagina and ditch that smart phone, that leash to the womb, tell that girlfriend you'll call her in a cpl of days, maybe! If u feel like it, be an individual, I don't care about your vacation pictures, I don't care about your latest shopping spree, I really don't care if u bought a new stick, u homo, and I certainly don't give a **** if u like an I-phone better than a samsung, u f-n dildo, that is girl stuff, go buy a pink skirt.

Ok, sorry 3 beers and this old man is ranting, sorry to the female, gay and dildo communities for my indiscretions, time now to tell me how full of **** I am.

PS. u don't really need it for ur job, just another leash.
Exception - Ok, yeah if I had a daughter she would have one, my leash on her, I'd pay.