Help with picking a board!

Save the $$$ you spend in dorritos, candy bars, beer, hgh, roids, or whatever got you to 6 & 220 for six months and put it in a jar....


Then go on a surf trip with your current board - bam, you just learned how to pop up and you got a sweet trip and you won't need a coronary bypass in 5 yrs

 

describe said "muscular" physique. Max bench press?

 

this will do wonders for your surfing, Pacific ocean, maybe central America, surfing everyday twice a day for a week or ten days before you buy a board

 

Once you find your sweet spot(s) for paddling put a bubble gum sized wad of wax right under where your nose is. It'll be easier to remember where you should be on the board paddling and you can spend more time trying to got in position and time your takeoff.

 

Benchin 275 bro. I'll fight anybody that benches less or more. I don't care.

The correct correct answer is to climb to a rugged Chinese mountain top to your local zen shaper. To make him a truly local shaper you must live with him. Occasionally be inside him. And make a board out of natural ingredients foraged from within 7' of you to really keep it local. So your local shaper really understands how you ride, you have to love each other for years, adopt a child together, get a divorce, hit the bar scene, and then reunite per chance on a blissful autumn day as you spot him from across the park wearing that turtleneck you adore that he picked up on your honeymoon in Prague. For a stringer you must use a boner. There's a lot of talk about the advantages of what chemical bs to use when glassing but a true local shaper uses wolf semen. Once the board is done, fake a shoulder injury and quit surfing.

I'm taking a dump at work while writing this. The motion sensor wasn't stimulated and the bathroom lights went off. Then as I hopped to open the stall and trigger it, someone walked in.

Usually there is a dude that pees in here while I'm ****ting (can tell its him by his shoes) and he has prostate issues. Lots of hardcore breathing and a trickle. Then a sad breath of disappointment. I cough just so he knows I know his shame.

 

Lmao! Bravo! Hahahaha

 

haha.