I just shar****ed

Looooooooollll!!

 

Shark-unting in the lineup or out in the deep water sanitary zone?

 

Yeah, well, it matters if there's other people out there sportino. Just sayin'. Logging takes on new meaning sometimes.

 

I've cleared peaks in the summer. I warned you all not to paddle up on me. If you know me and my glowing smile, that's your cue to paddle elsewhere.

 

Relax. It's just "natural seepage".

 

Padding out in jobos in pr with some friends. Noticed one of my friends on the inside snorkeling so I figure I would get a good laugh by slowly sneaking up on him and grab his fins... So I did... He was not surprised but more alarmed and started waving his hands- mumbling something like 'get outta hea' and pointing to something's in the water - that's when I noticed the Lincoln logs floating all- and I mean all- around... Man o man that was the sickest situation to be in... So I finally make it out to the lineup and toward the end of my first ride- I see it again... Another floater on the inside- almost hit it as I was kicking out ... Then had to duck dive another.. Just couldn't get away from them the rest of the day... That's me story.. I'm sticking to it weather I like it or not..

 

I've seen threads like this. But this one may be the grandest of them all. Clemmy, you done good braw. Let's see what the other here fellers got to tell us. I'm expecting big things from Doug, metard (shorty story though), zach, and MIS. Maybe leetymike has pulled some sewer stunts on the NoSho too.

From the words of the great Ron Burgundy, "Clemmy, you pooped in the ocean AND at a whole tray of wings? I'm not even mad - I'm amazed!"

Btw, this was sans wetty I hope???

 

Bro. Don't these things go off on the reg in BelMar?

 

Funny you should mention me Emass...

S not the North Shore, but at Honolua Bay. It was a decent head high, i was surfing the cave on my quad. Last winter i believe, not many people out, we got it at that magic hour when all the kids are in school and the old timers and da boys are all workin or something. Well either way, i was havin a great sesh. Gettin nice long rides, little barrels and all kinds of groovy things of that nature.
~now i need to also say that part of my morning routine is to drink a nice pot of black coffee, no food, just coffee, so the belly is good and acidic~
ok so im jammin down the line, linked one from the cave into the beginning section of Keiki bowls where the wave starts to bend a little and throw another smaller barrel. Well with the speed i have, and being just a hair to far back to pull into the tube i decided to try to float the section. Well i hit it and instead of floating, i fly like im trying to air (which nope i dont do thoses), land ass first on the tail of my board (right on the tail pad) which then shot about a gallon of seawater straight up my a-Hole! As soon as my ass hit the pad i knew it was gona be a shark-unt like never before. At first i thought i could just paddle it off, and head back to the lineup, but as the pain in my bowls increased i knew there was no holding back the Shark-unt. Paddled over to the deeper section of the bay and dropped trow and blasted a cloud of liquid shark-unt all over. Im sure the tourists standing on the lookouts could see it! What else can you do after inadvertently giving yourself a saltwater enema!?!?
Anyway, i pushed it all out, pulled up my trunks and went back to surfing near empty honolua bay. All in a days work....

 

lmaoooooooooo

 

I crapped at Matunuck once on a foggy summer day. No one was out but me and my friend. He got a wave, and I just pulled my trunks down and sh*t. hahahaha luckily it was a sinker. hahaha

 

every now and then i wonder why theres not more women on this forum. i really don't know.

 

Women don't poop or fart so what could they possibly contribute to this discussion?

 

I still plan on sh!tting my pants at work one day to get out when it's firing, just waiting for the right day.

 

Or you could just try this. One day I walked into the bathroom at work that we share with another company on our floor and saw this!

 

So you had some beers and then some more beers AND then hit happy hour (I'm assumung 4:00ish) for more beers and wings AND still had time for an evening sesh??

So you drank all afternoon then hit the water and you're surprised something not normal happened?? I'd try drinking all afternoon more often to get your body used to it.

 

Time for a company wide email with pics. Hit send then look around for the poor sap sitting there stone faced.

 

God almighty that mess is brutal...I figure if I sh!t my pants tho they HAVE to let me go, and really couldn't expect me back. I would just need to plan ahead, have all the gear and a fresh pair of pants in the truck. I will do this at my current job before I leave, and I will document here.