I'd love to hear that call: IHL: "Umm, yeah, ah, there's this guy, Riley Martin, and on Swellinfo.com - America's Premiere Surf Predictin website - he stated that he's going to stalk a pro soccer player currently in Canada. Yeah, he has a few aliases - South Jetty Bill and Paddington Jetty Bear. Cop: "Umm, Paddington Jetty Bear?" IHL: "Yeah, Paddington Jetty Bear, and he's looking for binoculars and camo from the guys from down south. He's on medication, too. " .................................................................. ihl: I mean, yea, you gotta take him down, he said he was gonna stalk her HPD: huh? ihl: these guys never take me seriously except when I post sensitive surf location info. Most of them think im a clown and their 'leader*' needs to learn a lesson.. *excerpt 1: Riley **excerpt 2: MIS
HPD: So you say his name is Riley Martin...and with whom are we speaking? IHL: My name is I Hate Longboarders. HPD: What kind of name is that? Is this some kind of joke? IHL: Not a joke at all officer, he's made detailed plans and posted them in an anonymous message board for surfers.
HPD: oh I get it, internet handles. so are you a hater or just being douchey/ironic? IHL: well sir, I was trying to be ironic, but I guess it just came out douchey, like every post I make on the MB. but back to the issue at hand, Riley Martin is going to pleasure himself while in camos to images of a female athlete. This seems wrong to me.
HPD: Now that you say it, it does sound kind of douchey. Well son, if a man pleasures himself whilst wearing camo at home, to images of female athletes, he's within his legal rights. There's not really a problem there. IHL: Problem!? There's not a focking problem!!!??? He should be looking at pictures of Gabriel Medina and WSL videos! The fock is wrong with you people?
HPD: Um, sir, you're the one calling in about a made up character named Paddington Jetty Bear saying he's a threat and you're calling us weird? We're here to help. IHL:
