kinda had a bad day yesterday

Discussion in 'Non Surf Related' started by bubs, Jun 13, 2017.

  1. bubs

    bubs Well-Known Member

    Sep 12, 2010
    So Ive been home from school for about a month now. Ive been doing landscaping and 'struction. Yesterday we got out early from work because of the heat. Kinda weird. But hey whatever, boss probably just didnt want to pay us.

    Decided to go drinking and I got absolutely blasted. Couldnt walk, couldnt talk, I was completely wrecked. Had to get showered and dressed by my gf at my house. I don't remember any of it. Past the point of it being fun. Girlfriend is beyond pissed. Mom is concerned and sick. Overall just a sad situation.

    So, no real harm was done but everyones kinda over me being a drunk. I think I am too but im not sure. I kind of out of money and patience with myself. Im trying to figure out what my next move is. I dont want to over react but I also need to probably do something.

    Anyway i'm going to sea June 22 for about 2 months so I'll catch up with you then.

    Mahalo and have a good day yall.
  2. DosXX

    DosXX Well-Known Member

    Mar 2, 2013
    You "don't want to over-react"? What does that mean?
    Based on your past posts and threads on this matter, you have a serious drinking problem. There, I said it.

    You're "not sure"? What more proof do you need? You're playing mind games and rationalizing with yourself.

    Before it kills you or, worse, you harm others, get some help. Unfortunately, one has to really bottom out and reach a point where one cannot continue living in such a manner. YOU must be the one deciding that you need and want help. Otherwise, you, your life and the lives of those who love you won't get better.

  3. Barry Cuda

    Barry Cuda Guest

    Hey, bubs--you already are making the first step to getting rid of the nuisance, alcohol, by recognizing it is a problem. I don't drink anymore (rarely a glass of wine when out to dinner), but I had to stop when younger as well.
    Now move on to your second step, and YOU will define what that is. Nobody else should; it will come from you, way down inside of you.
    Be well, and enjoy your time at sea.
  4. DawnPatrol321

    DawnPatrol321 Well-Known Member

    Mar 6, 2012
  5. ibc

    ibc Well-Known Member

    Aug 3, 2014
    Whatcha gonna be goin out ta sea for? Fishin?

    And what Mr Barry said.

    Ditto wit me.

    I ain't a doc, and I didn't stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night, but... I say it's an allergy. Totally fvckin UNfair. It ain't got a DAMN thing ta do with yer manhood, badassitude, etc. Alkiehol just don't mix wit some of us. It ain't fair, and neither is life.

  6. red dog

    red dog Well-Known Member

    Mar 6, 2015
    You are gonna lose it my friend! Your life will never get better drinking! You and I can't drink socially anymore. I hope you don't lose it all before you realize it! I'm coming up on 11 months and my life has improved dramatically! I didn't think I'd lose everything and I did! Thank god ive gotten my family back but one drink and their gone! Good luck and talk to someone! Peace.
  7. BassMon2

    BassMon2 Well-Known Member

    Jan 27, 2015
    I got two trains of thought here bubs.

    The first is that for a while it sounded like you were drinking much less. Like you were handling the problem. Obviously i don't know you personally so i don't really know. It was just the impression i got. If that is the case, and your the only one who really knows if it was or not, i wouldn't stress. It was a hiccup. You were doing good and slipped. Recognize it as a slip. Don't dwell on it, but keep that rotten feeling in the back of your head as motivation to not let it happen again. Anyone who has a problem with anything is likely to slip up. It's how you respond to that slip up. Do you get back up or do you keep slipping? I'm hoping you get back up bubs

    My second train of thought is this. If my impression was wrong and you have been drinking more than i thought, you need to kick it now. Like others mentioned, it can ruin you. Stop all together. Submerge yourself in something. Surfing, music, whatever. Something you love. Instead of going for the bottle go for the board or whatever. It'll be tough. But keeping your mind occupied on other things will help.

    Only you know how serious this is. Regardless, id stop with the drinking all together. It seems its just a slippery slope for you.

    I wish you the best of luck
  8. Zeroevol

    Zeroevol Well-Known Member

    Jun 22, 2009
    Lost a marriage because she was an alcoholic. She drank so much she would actually have seizures if she tried to quit for a day or two. Pretty bad sh!t!! It can be a hard habit to kick, but Barry is right, admitting or realizing there is a problem is the first step!! Now it's up to you what you decide to do. Good luck brother!
  9. Donald J Trump

    Donald J Trump Well-Known Member

    Aug 9, 2016
    Admitting you have a problem is the first step. Stop lying to everybody and be honest about yourself. Believe me.
  10. grainofsand

    grainofsand Well-Known Member

    Jun 26, 2014
    get clean, stay clean, you'll realize that you never needed it, and that it is a crutch, good luck!
  11. PA_KOOK

    PA_KOOK Well-Known Member

    Apr 4, 2016
    How old are you bubs? Making bad decisions and drinking too much is something we've all done. I don't know your history but if this is a regular occurrence you need to do something. I'd say most people grow out of it but that's a pretty dangerous advice if you're recognizing you have a problem.

    That being said, there isn't anything wrong with giving it up for a period of time or forever. I don't think anyone has ever regretted all those times they were sober, people will sure as hell regret wasting their life in a bottle though.
  12. Manik

    Manik Well-Known Member

    Dec 25, 2015
    Same here, couldn't put up with the ex wifes drinking anymore.
    Years ago I had a buddy and coworker who needed 4-5 beers to get moving in the morning and drank all day, usually switching to Yukon Jack at some point. We were running heavy equipment and he was an amazing worker, not a primadonna like a lot of operators, didn't mind getting out of the machine to pick up a shovel, great welder and great all around guy. Would do anything for you. His body shut down one day and they had to put him in a drug induced coma for two weeks because he would not survive the withdrawls. Alcohol withdrawls are the only drug withdrawls that can kill you, not even cocaine or heroin can do that.
    He did great for years but not a happy ending to the story.
    It sounds like you have a great support system with your family and GF bubs. Don't lose them.
    Good luck brother
  13. yankee

    yankee Well-Known Member

    Sep 26, 2008
    I 100% concur with everything the buoys on here are saying. Passed out, blackout drunk is a problem. It's not at all 'normal' and it's not what you're supposed to end up doing when you drink alcohol. So, yah, you got a big-ass heavyweight problem that's going to win. If you don't address it now.

    Can you check your medical insurance & see if there's provisions / coverage for treatment? This could be working with a counselor, admitting you to a treatment / detox center or other aspects to help you get through this. Many medical plans have varying degrees of assistance available for you.

    Put your head down & just get it done. You won't beat it alone. Every time you start feeling strong again, you will drink. Because you think you can handle it. You're wrong. It's a game that you can't win. Alcohol will win. You will lose. Every time.
  14. mushdoc

    mushdoc Well-Known Member

    Jan 30, 2013
    Some people simply cannot drink in moderation. If you have a pattern of getting out of have to cut it out of your life like it is cancer. AA has a high success rate. Get some help before you or someone else dies.
  15. bubs

    bubs Well-Known Member

    Sep 12, 2010
    Hi thanks for the responses I will answer everyone below.

    DosXX - I just don't want to do anything stupid. (Go to rehab if its unnecessary, screw my life up and get a label following me.) I know I have a serious drinking problem. Ive been working on it for years. Ive been to meetings and I work on it every day. The past week was just a total fall off the wagon. So I dont want to over react and make a big scene, unfortunately that stuff can really harm a persons reputation. Admitting I have a problem isnt the hard part for me. Its getting to a good place and staying there.

    Barry - Thanks man. Oddly it means a lot.

    IBC - I go to a maritime school. I have a training cruise coming up to accumulate sea days for my 3rd mates license. Well be doing a lot of cleaning, navigating, charting. Real cool stuff. We do lots of celestial and terrestrial navigation. I read in my down time and work out a little. It's not bad.

    reddog - thanks man. I went to a meeting this morning and might hit another one tonight. I dont really think aa is for me but as for today it cant hurt. Good job on 11 months. Keep it up.

    bassmon - youa re actually more spot on than you realize. kudos for that. I was doing well, I think because I'm leaving soon I felt like I had to get this out of my system (no booze on the boat). Everyones super sore now and people arent forgiving to you when you get drunk and have had problems in the past. They all mean well but they kind of overreact. It was a slip up. Fortunately I have like 2 months of sobriety at sea which will give me time to sort out all my thoughts. So... I mean I dont know. I dont actually drink that much anymore. I have a great life and drinking too much wont help. Ill have a tallboy a few times a week with a shot of fireball. I kinda let myself think I was doing well which leada to me taking more and more liberties. I know I can survive this but its just really crappy right now. So for like 2 years I was a morning to night drinker. I still do sometimes but really not that often. I have a great girlfriend who supports me and she would know if I was so I dont even risk it. Once in awhile Ill ave a beer in the morning or at lunch when I know I shouldnt but its pretty under control. I dont even really drink at night or on weekends. but the past few weeks i was hiding booze, lying, and focused only on getting drunk. I think these things are what really upsets me. Its crappy because I dont even remember half of it so its like hard to be responsible for something you barely even remember doing. Anyway. Your post really spoke to me and i appreciate it like I do most of your posts.
  16. bubs

    bubs Well-Known Member

    Sep 12, 2010
    (this was one post but SI said it was too long. never knw that was a thing)

    Mr trump - if you read what I posted above i agree. The lying is the worst part. my drinking was a full time job for awhile and i dont want to go back there again.

    grain - thanks man! thats the craziest part. I know i dont need it and that its a crutch, and that i never need it. i have like no money left. someone told me once you just hate hangovers. I drink when im hungover you know? but theres the thing. why did i drink so much im hungover? so im really just creating problems i dont need. anyway. hopefully i figure it out.

    pa kook - im 27. 28 in october. i guess its kind of young to have a problem but trust me ive earned it over the past few years. I really abused the privilege. i wasnt drinking too much at parties or at the bar. drinking alone, in secret. all hours of the day. thankfully ive recovered a lot from that....but i guess im not out of the woods yet. its really debilitating and I never thought id be in this position at my age. im lucky that i have forced sobriety coming up at sea so hopefully i can use that as a springboard but hey. who knows.

    yankee - thanks man. you are right. I really dont want to do the treatment thing because im in a really competitive school and that might set me apart. ive been through the withdrawls before and you only really need to make it past the first like week or so. then youre good physically. its a lot of sweating, anxiety, blurred vision, and really varying energy levels. I have never had a mental illness in my life but going through withdrawls its NUTS. After you make it through about the first week you are fine. thats where the mental habit kicks in. i have thought about a rehab a few times but it really just wont work for me unfortunately i dont have that option but hey, if it gets worse ill go anyway.

    mush - i appreciate it. i went to a meeting this morning and may go again. I dont really think aa is for me but i also dont mind going. Its weird i actually can drink in moderation and getting drunk isnt my problem. i just turn into an asshole. i lie, hide alcohol, and just generally become a sad version of myself even just for a drink or two. yesterday was just a complete mishap and i got wasted but now the problem is out in the open. my family cant support that kind of crap and they arent.
  17. JTS

    JTS Well-Known Member

    Feb 21, 2010
    You realize there is something wrong with your drinking, now the question is how to handle it
    I am an alcoholic, so what Iknow I learned through my own experiences. Been sober over 26 years, not easy but actually easier than trying to control the drinking or suffering the consequences . 2 sure signs of an alcoholic are1, blackouts - normal people don't have them, and 2 a personality change. It's Not how much you drink, it is what it does to you. If it is causing family problems, causing you to lie and hide the drinking, it sounds like it is a problem.
    I have rarely seen anyone who has crossed that line into being an alcoholic ever successfully manage their drinking. Look back, is it getting better or worse?
    Don't rationalize that you are too young, alcohol is no respecter of age, money or intelligence. How important is drinking to you? What are you WILLING to do? I'm not advocating rehab, but realize that people die and lives are ruined from untreated alcoholism.
    Good luck, PM me if you want
  18. ibc

    ibc Well-Known Member

    Aug 3, 2014
    Sounds like a cool school, Bubs.

    Y'all stayin underway for 2 months solid, or are ya hittin any ports?

    St Thomas was always nice.
  19. nalu222

    nalu222 Well-Known Member

    Feb 11, 2010
    Swellinfo anonymous
  20. sisurfdogg

    sisurfdogg Well-Known Member

    Jun 17, 2013
    Bubs, I wish you the best. There are many successful powerful people in business and industry who are longtime AA members (not me). I've met them, they are awesome, and have overcome any stigma by a longshot, by deeds and actions. Find a mentor when you get back. When the student is ready, the teacher appears.