kinda had a bad day yesterday

Discussion in 'Non Surf Related' started by bubs, Jun 13, 2017.

  1. bubs

    bubs Well-Known Member

    Sep 12, 2010
    JTS - good job man. id say its definitely getting better. i just hate these speed bumps. drinking is unfortunately pretty important to me. i love having some cold ones but hey i cant be hurting my family like that. they are more important to me. i appreciate all the advice. its really resonating with me. these are all things ive kind of known but have been choosing to ignore.

    ibc - its cool but its competitive and the management is completely irresponsible. we are hitting portugal, sicily, and gibraltor. we stay in port for 3 days at a time.

    nalu - haha. made me laugh

    si - thanks. i gotta run or id write more.
  2. red dog

    red dog Well-Known Member

    Mar 6, 2015
    just got home from work and read all of the comments from some caring chargers. just wanted to add that I go to AA not just to stay sober but to feel better! quitting drinking is like saying goodbye to a best friend! its a decision only the individual can make! alcoholics have a built in forgetter, we feel better and forget the damage. our brains tell us itll be different this time. the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expect different results! your young and you can keep everything you have including a girlfriend that most likely loves the shatt outta you! I promise that will change if you don't! the reason why aa is a 24hr program is the thought of forever is too much for anyone. just shoot for midnight and don't worry about tomorrow until tomorrow! try to stay where your feet are, in the moment! life without booze if very possible and life can be exciting. good luck bro, I'm praying for ya.

  3. ibc

    ibc Well-Known Member

    Aug 3, 2014
    Oh, Med cruise. Y'all are goin all the way across. Made several of them. 6 months at a pop. We'd stay out a few weeks at a time, not too long.

    The rock of Gibraltar is pretty cool.

    Hope you have a nice summer out there, dude.

  4. HelpHelpLetMeOut

    HelpHelpLetMeOut Well-Known Member

    Mar 2, 2017
    DOSXX gave you your answer and you missed it, maybe listen to JTS too.

    in regards to above, saying people 'overreact' when you've been a walking blackout more than once is fully and totally denial. you admitted you have a problem, but you dont think its a big problem.

    it wasnt a slip up, its your SOP and its textbook addict stuff

    JTS hit the nail on head

    if you're going to grow up into a man, you need to stop all drinking right now
    otherwise you will ruin every relationship you ever had, justify drinking on the job and fully end up in the gutter
    your immediate course of action should be

    1) stop drinking now and talk to JTS. I don't even know the dude but he 100% correct
    2) go to meetings daily and take it one day at a time like red dog said*

    you dont have anything under control at all. you're not master of yourself

    * if you do drink it will lead down down down
  5. hondatechcr

    hondatechcr Well-Known Member

    Nov 4, 2014
    I like this topic, sounds like almost everyone is agreement that you have a drinking problem. The problem is they are patting you on the back saying it will be ok, maybe you need some help, what you need is a foot in the a$$. Not a single thing said here, not even this crappy post will make you stop using. No one will make you stop, only you can. However once you do stop the help can begin and unfortunately it's not a SI forum that's going to help you. Its going to be real meetings, I prefer NA but if you like AA then stay there. I have met many men who will never and I mean never get out of prison for crimes committed while drunk or high. This is reality, hopefully you don't die or worse yet kill an INNOCENT person while you're "blacked out" doing something you shouldn't. Go get help. Every single person in my life knows I'm an addict from my daughter to the owner of the company I work for and everyone in between, there is no shame in admitting who we are, the shame comes when we hide from it and ruin our lives and lives of the ones closest to us. Stop being a selfish **** and do something positive. Let some recovering addicts help you. Good luck, don't die, you sound like a good guy.
    My name is Chris and I am an addict. Its the best thing that's ever happened to me. Work some steps with a sponsor, go to meetings and do some service work. Life gets different usually better.
    Last edited: Jun 13, 2017
  6. ibc

    ibc Well-Known Member

    Aug 3, 2014
    Different strokes for different folks. Some people go to AA, NA, whatever. Others go to church. Still others go to jail. And even some actually do this on their own after sh!t gets so bad, they wake up one day and say F THIS!

    Just cuz one person got results one way, does NOT mean that's the onliest way.

    My $.02
  7. ibc

    ibc Well-Known Member

    Aug 3, 2014
    Hey, if AA worked for you, cool.

    Don't think ya need to thump that as the ONLY solution. It can make ya sound like an Amway salesman or somethin.
  8. hondatechcr

    hondatechcr Well-Known Member

    Nov 4, 2014
    Many ways to skin a cat as they say. Find yours and stick with it. If it works for you then that's all that matters.
  9. yankee

    yankee Well-Known Member

    Sep 26, 2008
    First treade in SI Fourume Historye that's gone 3 pages & hasn't derailed. Yet.
  10. HelpHelpLetMeOut

    HelpHelpLetMeOut Well-Known Member

    Mar 2, 2017
    Yet...Yet Yet.....
    Yeti coolers are overpriced imo
  11. trevolution

    trevolution Well-Known Member

    Feb 16, 2012
    sounds like someone had a case of the mondays

  12. trevolution

    trevolution Well-Known Member

    Feb 16, 2012
    we got one in the back of the fire rig.

    im an alcoholic and i admit it and enjoy it. Admiting it is the first step to enjoying it. dont get behind a wheel and show up to work sober. dont hit women with or without booze. in my opinion if you do all that and drink 4 or 5 beers a day and the occasional 10 on the weekends your fine.

    fully functioning for now well see in 10 years.
  13. yankee

    yankee Well-Known Member

    Sep 26, 2008
    One of the very real problems that addicts have is self-delusion.

    You post fun stuff in re surf treks & you're a hard-workin' dood. You're going to fall very hard. Someday. If you keep on the track that you're on. You're young & your mortality hasn't even touched your radar screen.

    The way you're doing alcohol will result in it insidiously taking over your life. You will hit a point where you won't surf because of alcohol. And you'll rationalize that, you'll be 'ok' with that.

    Alcohol will wreck your body. You'll develop diabetes. You'll lose your friends as you age out & as you choose booze over just about anybody.

    Eh. What's the use. Time will teach hard lessons. Life is scar tissue, amigo. You truly ain't seen nothin' yet.

    An American monkey, after getting drunk on brandy, would never touch it again, and thus is much wiser than most men.
    Charles Darwin
  14. DosXX

    DosXX Well-Known Member

    Mar 2, 2013
    "I just don't want to do anything stupid. (Go to rehab if its unnecessary, screw my life up and get a label following me.) I know I have a serious drinking problem. Ive been working on it for years. Ive been to meetings and I work on it every day. The past week was just a total fall off the wagon. So I dont want to over react and make a big scene, unfortunately that stuff can really harm a persons reputation. Admitting I have a problem isnt the hard part for me. Its getting to a good place and staying there."

    Absolute BS. None of what you said here and elsewhere makes any kind of sense.
    Bottom line: If you persist in fooling yourself, making excuses, and continue drinking, your reputation will be the least of your problems. You'll never get to your so-called "good place"...whatever that is.
    Addressing your drinking problem should be your NUMBER ONE priority. It affects all aspects of your life.
    Unfortunately, you're going to have to truly bottom out before taking this matter seriously.
    You go overseas on this working cruise, go on liberty with the crew, and get hammered like you described at the beginning of this thread, you may not be returning home.
  15. DawnPatrol321

    DawnPatrol321 Well-Known Member

    Mar 6, 2012
    Bubs, listen to your SI bros. They care about you and don't even know you. Drinking alone and lying and sneaking is about as bad as it gets. As someone who drinks to excess on occasion , but not often, I can say if I were you, I'd be seeking help or just deciding I'm done drinking all together and do it on my own. That doesn't mean you are alone, that just means you own it, which you aren't doing currently.

    I stopped drinking during the week. That was something I got too comfortable with for a while. So to avoid it reaching a dangerous level I cut it off Monday - Thursday, and sometimes even Friday. Doing little things like that keep it from taking hold. My new self imposed rule on weekends for a while will be a 3 beer limit when we go out anywhere.

    If you aren't able to do that and are afraid to lose control again than I say seek help man. Stop worrying what people think of you. They already talk about you, just behind your back to one another. Because they care about you. But they hope you're grown enough to figure it out without having to hold your hand. You're not a kid anymore. So just man up and do what you already know needs to be done.
  16. Aryavrit Travels

    Aryavrit Travels Member

    Jun 1, 2017
  17. FUN

    FUN Well-Known Member

    Aug 28, 2014
    seems like youre kind of in a cycle of slipping up, cleaning up then easing your way back to slipping up again by "limiting" yourself to only drinking a "little". Which in turn just leads to drinking more and more since you think youre doing "better"

    my advice is to just kick alcohol completely, you're either all in or you're all out

    just my advice, i'm younger than you so what do i know
  18. trevolution

    trevolution Well-Known Member

    Feb 16, 2012
    eh i stop for two weeks at a time with no problem and give it up whenever i feel like no problem. the only time i miss out on surfing is when i already surfed all morning on my day off, and make a round of bloodies and start grilling and feasting all afternoon, at which point i dont feel comfortable driving. If the waves are good i still run down the beach to the jetty or get my neighbor to drive me. If not i keep drinking and play civilization on my computer.

    also mortality is most definitely on my radar i had a 200 foot tree sit back on me yesterday and had to wedge through my holding wood and run out of the way as it came crashing down right next to me because i didnt want anyone else exposed to my mistake. if i ran right instead of left id be dead as of 6/13/17. Drinking helps one cope with mortality.
    my surfing under the influence of alcohol is a bell curve.

    1 beer, no effect
    2, mild buzz feel better and looser on the waves
    3 i start charging
    4 im right at the right level of no fear and still have motor control
    5+ the long spiral down to blowing turns, missing sections, and if i exceed too many more getting seasick in the lineup

    i found my comfortable median with drinking which is to get a tasty buzz on all day but never exceed into excess.

    I think those who swear off the booze entirely lack the self control to know their limits and let it run their life.

    3 beers at a friends house watching the game, or a few after work at the local water hole every day? fine

    a fifth of vodka alone in your room? not fine.

    know your limits and keep your demons on the treadmill but if you cage them theyll explode

    "beer is proof that god loves us and wants us to be happy" -ben franklin
    Last edited: Jun 14, 2017
  19. trevolution

    trevolution Well-Known Member

    Feb 16, 2012
    all im saying here bubs is moderation is key

    if you swear off the booze entirely it will constantly be a forbidden fruit in your life, that is running your life even more because your scared to look it in the eye and will always covet it for not being able to have it.

    if you learn the discipline to drink a few beers (lets start off with 2) a few times a week/ month (whatever) and then STOP and drink a cup of tea and go to bed you'll be in a much better spot and still be able to enjoy the fruits of your labor.

    alcoholism is not a disease, its a lack of willpower.
  20. PA_KOOK

    PA_KOOK Well-Known Member

    Apr 4, 2016
    I'm sure you're gonna catch some **** for this man. I used to feel this way but I've known enough addicts to know that addiction is not simply a lack of willpower.