Discussion in 'Northeast' started by Riley Martin's Disgruntled Neighbor, Sep 13, 2012.

  1. Riley Martin's Disgruntled Neighbor

    Riley Martin's Disgruntled Neighbor Well-Known Member

    Aug 22, 2012
    Someone gave me his book. You can’t really read it, because it’s mostly pictures. Of him. The golden boy. Tan. Blond. Buff. And a few of him with his volleyball playing wife, who is hot. It has sections on diet. And yoga. And noni juice. And all kinds of other stuff that Laird likes to do. Apparently, he’s hanging upside down now. For 30 or so minutes a day. Says it “Changes his perspective.” He’s been on the cover of every single men’s magazine that exists - twice. In almost all of those articles, in his book, in all the videos of him surfing less than 30 foot swell, he’s talking about one or he’s on one – the SUP. He’s quoted as saying “once you walk, you don’t want to crawl again.” I mean, you kind of wish he was a little more like Noll. The Bull. The quiet type. A little rough around the edges. A beer drinker, not a noni sipper. Maybe even light one up after a session, drop a few f-bombs. But no. He’s a Preacher and a Profit. And His followers flocked to surf shops and online and anywhere they could get their hands on one. A SUP.<br /><br />Do you remember the first time you saw one? I was out with a handful of guys on a beautiful march day with light winds and head high pretty consistent surf. All of the sudden this madman comes.... standing up into the lineup on some kind of a… surf kayak! He gets out and…. he’s still standing up! Just hanging out about 20 yards from the rest of us with a paddle in his hand, standing. A set comes through and he’s wobbling and paddling and takes a couple of deep strokes and gets this massive surf kayak into a wave. He comes screaming through the line-up on this thing like it was set on rails. Might as well have been a J class sailboat. It was huge! No chance of a turn, a cutback, a carve. Just flying down the line. I was straight up f*&king mystified. I think I took a set wave on the back of my head as I turned with my mouth gaping and watched this guy ride this… THING well into the cove beyond the break. Then he turns it around, and heads right back out, and wobbled into the best of the set waves for the rest of the afternoon. And you know what - he had one on. Yep. You know it. The most essential item to a SUPer. A trucker hat. <br /><br />During the last swell, which was the first decent swell in a while, they were all over the place. I got out on Thursday morning at 6:15 and there were five guys in the water. All five were on SUP’s. Just dominating wave selection and leaving very little on the bone for people who like to catch a wave, stand up, then actually perform what SUPers do not know or understand – actual surfing maneuvers. Cutbacks, slashes, carving turns, floaters, airs (well, not for me…but….) We crawlers actually still surf. I ended up having to play US Marine and performed some outflanking. I got mine. As it started to get a little more crowded, a set came through and all five of the SUPers caught waves and came flying through the lineup on rails. Two to a wave. With the trucker hats on. I swear to you, one of them even a pair of Nike water socks on. Big smiles from these tourists as their surf kayaks created a wake through us lesser wave lovers. Those of us who, according to Laird, had not yet evolved to the glory of the… SUP, just had to frown back at them. I thought that somewhere, Laird was drinking noni juice hanging upside down channeling the Dali Lama and maybe singing songs with Eddie Vedder on the Uke while his hot wife made him some organic sustainable snack. And as I sat there paddling for position for the next decent wave while the 5 surf kayakers were paddling and wobbling their way back out, I said to myself and anyone listening: “F%$k you, Laird Hamilton, wherever you are.”
    Last edited: Sep 13, 2012
  2. darippah

    darippah Well-Known Member

    May 27, 2008
    Thanks for making my decision Bro, on my way to my local shop to pickup an SUP

  3. aka pumpmaster

    aka pumpmaster Well-Known Member

    Apr 30, 2008
    He will always be Lance Burkhart to me.
  4. rickward

    rickward Member

    Jul 29, 2009
    So funny considering one of his few lines as Lance:

    "That's an old man's board, Chandler." Lance, what a douche.

    Laird, on the other hand, I don't really have a problem with him. Ride what makes you happy.
  5. Peajay4060

    Peajay4060 Well-Known Member

    Nov 14, 2011
    surfed at a spot for this whole last swell that was a little more conducive to longboards and SUP's than where i usally surf. Most SUP's were exactly as described by the OP but one guy on a shorter SUP was sitting with the rest surfers, taking off way late and ripping better than most would on a mid length. He was in no way hogging waves. I was wholly impressed by this guy. Untill then I never saw someone do so much as a turn on an SUP, and yes he was wearing a trucker hat. What's with that?

    made me think its not the SUP thats the problem, it's most people riding them and those people would be jerks no matter what they were riding. soon they'll have wave jets
    Last edited: Sep 13, 2012
  6. LBCrew

    LBCrew Well-Known Member

    Aug 12, 2009

    Anyway... I have the book. "Laird Hamilton. Force of Nature. Mind, body, soul, and of course, SURFING." It's right here on the table next to my seat on the couch where I type nonsense on Swellinfo while pretending to pay half attention to whatever professional sports my wife and kids have on. Somebody gave it to me for Christmas two years ago.

    I have read about 10 pages of it.

    I'm not into hero worship, but the guy is quite a waterman, and there's no denying his talent.

    "THE WAVE" is a better book.
  7. Kuono

    Kuono Well-Known Member

    Sep 21, 2010
    Too eloquent for SJB !

    Def agree, Laird is a waterman, and liked The Wave book...SUPs are pretty big in Hawaii where he lives. I rented a SUP in Key West and it was fun and a good workout(no waves obviously) but the feeling of being out in the water was nice and if I thought I saw a nice souvenir like a sea shell, than I took a dive.

    I wouldn't SUP around VB, but think its worth it were the water is clear and calm you could paddle over a reef or something and explore.

    Last edited: Sep 13, 2012
  8. McLovin

    McLovin Well-Known Member

    Jun 27, 2010
  9. havanasand

    havanasand Well-Known Member

    Aug 9, 2011
  10. aka pumpmaster

    aka pumpmaster Well-Known Member

    Apr 30, 2008
    this is definitely something I would go all out aggro over if I was the shortboarder.
  11. reefbreak

    reefbreak Member

    Mar 5, 2008
    Get over it! like em or not SUPs are here to stay.

    This rant Sounds like a huge man crush to me.....

    :rolleyes: oh Laird! hehehehe....
  12. whosthat

    whosthat Well-Known Member

    Apr 8, 2011
    You guys are f'n funny........Laird has it all for sure.........the Fantasy Factory episode with Laird is funny stuff....jealous and proud of him at the same time.......SUP's are for Hawaii/Cali/FL......there's not enough space
    in NJ lineups....McLovin's pics are proof.
  13. Riley Martin's Disgruntled Neighbor

    Riley Martin's Disgruntled Neighbor Well-Known Member

    Aug 22, 2012
    The Wave was a pretty good book. And anyone who rides Egypt at 100 feet gets the instant respect card from surfers and non surfers alike. Just posting some humor. My old man surfs an SUP. I take it out when its flat. Check out the schools of Strippers from a heightened perspective. Always good to be in the water, whatever your method is. No disrespect meant, just some humor. If you are out when its pumping, no matter what you are on, you better know how to handle it. Peace offering to SUPers! See you out there!
  14. leethestud

    leethestud Well-Known Member

    Aug 12, 2010
    man I love SUP's. Nothing better than watching some old kook rent one and try to charge. beating after beating after beating
  15. darippah

    darippah Well-Known Member

    May 27, 2008
    Aside from all the dangers... I'm dying to get an SUP and cant understand how someone who loves the ocean wouldnt want one.. Whether for surfing the real small days, experimenting on medium to bigger days (at a lesser crowded spot) or just cruising around when its flat
  16. headrow

    headrow Well-Known Member

    Sep 2, 2007
    because he breaks boards, hoale. Like....for fun.
  17. goosemagoo

    goosemagoo Well-Known Member

    May 20, 2011
    Want to try it out...get a skateboard, stand on it with your feet side by side and push yourself along with a mop...whoopeeeeeeee!!!!!!

    Kinda just joking. Tried it once, it's not for me. For the money I'd rather have a kayak. Many more uses plus it's easier to carry a cooler :)
    If there are waves I want a SURFboard.
  18. SurfingOC912

    SurfingOC912 Well-Known Member

    Dec 13, 2007
  19. aka pumpmaster

    aka pumpmaster Well-Known Member

    Apr 30, 2008
    what he said.
  20. warpedale

    warpedale New Member

    Sep 7, 2012
    I've transitioned from longboarding to SUP surfing over the last few years. I enjoy it as it allows me to catch more waves and link them up and the perspective you have standing when flat-water paddling. I don't get a hard time from anyone prone at my home break as I know how to handle the board in any kind of surf, call out incoming sets, don't hog the best set waves and in general show respect to everyone out in the lineup. I got into SUP a few years ago as my wife got into it and it allowed me to spend more time with her when the surf was flat. She's now getting into surfing her SUP as well, though I make sure that as she's learning she's nowhere near the lineup and stays out of the way of everyone. I think the problem a lot of people have with SUP is that it makes it a lot easier for the inexperienced to get out on the water and many of them don't know proper surf etiquette and/or simply can't handle the conditions. There are still days where I'll take out my fish or my longboard depending on conditions, but more often than not these days I'll reach for the SUP. Some of the new shorter boards that have come out in the last few years are a lot more maneuverable than the logs seen only a few years back. As a previous poster noted, ride what makes you happy, but have respect for others in the water.