Lamest Surf Product

Oh snap, I was waitin for the bench-off!!! Does Jerz have a muscle beach, like Cali?

Lame - Choreographed surfing

 

I don't mind if they get married, no ***s in the lineup though. And I still like the Jolly Roger, I'm a F'n pirate.

 

You have a strange definition of lame then.

I have a 13 foot board, the Future Primitive 'Ghost' 13 which has been on tour since 2008 and has just arrived in San Francisco from Hawaii, she's a great board and is available to be ridden. Ken 'Skindog' Colins is goinf to have a go in the near future.

http://www.roystuart.biz/2013/01/future-primitive-ghost-13-heads-to-san.html

 

So, if anyone wants to argue their corner on this issue, pray commence....

 

Roy,

I'd be interested in you thoughts behind the design. There's no place for it in east coast waves but it looks like it flies in the steep sections. I guess the big time tail rocker lets you use a whole lot more of the wave right? Why don't you start up a new thread about it?

 

Whadya bench?

 

Also lame are miatas w rainbow stickers and white wetsuits. And political correctness

 

Headed out for dp. Got my white wetsuit, bic longboard with a turbo tunnel and full deck traction. Gonna put on some red zinc and paddle out.

 

Does this make the list? Our next breakthrough: Rash guards with webbed armpits to capture wind power.

http://www.flowfold.com/billfolds

 

Sure, who the hell wants to worry about their wallet in the water.

 

That was good.

The NJShredMachine has lifetime dibs on the bench, though.

 

TURBO TUNNEL! too funny, I bought one as a newbee from the now closed 3rd Ave surf shop-he must have saw me coming a mile away. Besides provoking small talk, the thing did absolutely nothing!

 

It's all good Gaffer and thanks for your thoughts.

I looked at the list of lame surf products posted here and agreed that they were all pretty poor except for the zinc block, in any case I am aware of the humour but don't let that stand in the way of a retort.

One assumes that you are referring to Garrett, he seems like a good hearted person but unfortunately he rode the board from way too far back, which some beginners do. I explained to him that he should ride from further forward and he replied that he'd be sure to stand further back next time. Lost in translation perhaps, or did he listen to Randy the Snake instead of Roy?

Turbo tunnels have several design flaws, we prefer half pipe tunnels which are not constricted at the exit.



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The offer still stands Kahuna Kai. Evolve.

Its not about being PC so much as knowing what language is appropriate and where. In other words, not being a d-bag.

Also 1) rainbow sticker is a reference to gays. 2) Gays and lesbians are already in the lineup.

 

Yes, we must all look out for the chips on others' shoulders! This is an ESTEEM issue, people!!!! Only mouth-breathing knuckle draggers who have not evolved don't understand!

I'm a lesbian, so don't get too close in the lineup--it may wash off on you.



....and speaking of which, relating to this thread, BEAVER TAIL WETSUTS.

 

Huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh. You said BEAVER.

 

Any sold after they figured out it was warmer to stitch the crotch and put a zipper on the back.

 

I rocked the front foot traction for a few years recently. Pretty stiff traction and eliminates the need to constantly scrap/reapply wax. Also no wax inside board bags which was the best part. Yeah it may chaff your nips when barebacking but in the northeast where you are in a wetsuit for 10months out of the year it was never really problem.

some pros love them too:
Stab’s last print issue featured this double-page spread of Julian Wilson using an Astrodeck front-foot traction pad. Julian tells the Stab readers about how Christian (Fletcher) gave him the pad and why he loves the grip so much. In Julian’s own words: “It felt like the best grip I’ve ever felt, like my foot couldn’t come off. I was hooked. So, now, I’ve just been using it on all my boards. It’s just really light and really sticky. I haven’t looked back since.”