My Apologies

Insert: Bro hugs for all!

 

LOL, live in the moment, man!

 

Me and Uncle 2 Barrels smacked up this kid when we were idk, 14-15...kid had it coming, trust me. But I dropped him with a kick to the chest, then followed up with a couple sound punches while he was on his knees, gasping for air. The women were actually lamenting, and we heard it. Anywho, I felt bad, called the kid and apologized like a week later, lol.

DP, I'm sorry for calling you a khunt.

Michael JR, I'm sorry for heckling you also.

Shark Hunter, I'm not sorry. An enemy of the shark is an enemy of mine.

 

See, this is why I like this site. We police ourselves. Like a true outlaw motorcycle club. We don't need your police, we don't need your judges and courts, we don't need your nanny state telling us what to do!
Like the two-wheeled riders of asphalt, we want to ride our waves. F@ck the kneelers of national anthems, f@ck the BLM, f@ck Hillary and Donald and Obama and Nancy P and Paul Ryan and MSNBC and Fox. F@ck the non-surfing sheeple masses.
We are surfers and for a lot of us, it's all we have in common. I know you may disagree when you're in a crowded line up but our world is smaller than you think. I would never have fathomed only 10 years ago that I'd be talking with guys from New England to Florida, from Cali to Hawaii to Texas.

 

# Swell Fam

 

Chavez it is pretty fkn righteous eh?

 

#4lyfe

 

DP you're a top shelf dude.

Logan I am not sorry.

Follow up to that fight was that the dudes older brothers friend tried to kick mine at a park when I was playing basketball. Dude was 22 and showed up two cars deep. I was 15. Me and a pal were in between games when this dude with a head tattoo started shoving me around. I'm thinking I'm gonna get my arse handed to me. Then one of the strangers I was playing with (a straight up wigg in his mid 20s) lost his **** that a 22 year old was beating on a child. He pummeled head tattoo in the saddest way. His two cars stood there in silence. Head tatt would get stomped and then get up and say "is that all you got?" He kept getting bludgeoned and each time got sadder and sadder. He would stumble up and say it through tears and blood. Even his friends were like stay down bro. As small town legends are forged, they pinned that one on me too.

 

And I should apologize for calling you all morons???
NAWWWW!! Never man!!!
You all ARE morons!!
But so am I.
So let's get back to giving each other a load of shiit and stop acting like a bunch of pussies!
(couldn't let this opportunity pass...)

 

C or D grade at best?

 

One time at a keg party in the woods almost 25 years ago, an adolescent Seldome Scennicus was about to call it a night on nature's dirt floor. Someone yelled cops, and all the kiddos scrambled. A 1/8 conscious Sheldonne leapt to his feet and followed the keg, carrying it to safety. Ah youthful summer nights. That night we stayed at our douche friend Bobs house, and I'm fairly certain his ferret **** in my mouth while I was sleeping. However it would not be for another 10 years that I had a hangover of such proportions that I realized that taste of **** in your mouth does not require a small mammal. Three footnotes:

1. It would be awesome if the ferret wore black bondage leather while crapping in my mouth. Whatever it's one thing for a ferret to deuce in your esophagus but it's another thing for him to get off while doing it.

2. The former Mrs Two Barrels had morning breath so atrocious that one hangover morning she accused me of putting cat litter in the bed near her face because of the smell, and then accused me of putting a turd in her mouth and then extracting it while she was sleeping--- because there was no way her breath could be that bad on her own, or so she wanted to think.

3. Douche Bob went to the warped tour with us that summer and made out with a female friend of mine on the ride home. Who is now a man living in LA.

3-A. I made out with her to two years later. Still before she became a man though.

3-B. Another female individual on that Warped Tour trip was my occasional high school girlfriend, who went on to marry a gypsy in Florida and became a phone psychic. She was not Ms. Cleo.