My Special Lady wants to put something in my butt-Life Advise

You are such a fuggin disappointment

 

That arginine ain't cheap ya know

 

INFRACTION! You are being rude towards another member

 

I emailed you a picture of what you may look like when she's done with you.....

 

You heretic.

A *real* friend would let him come back with a swole and bleeding anus. Then point at him and laugh about it.

 

Might have to bust out with the "simod8" aliases and a string of IP addresses againe.



J/K

 

[video]https://youtu.be/P9RN__vvjkc[/video]

Ultimately I don't think things turned out too well for ralphie...good luck, my dude

 

your sleeping in between a beautiful attractive woman who wants to have sex with you, and an aroused homosexual. who do you turn your back on?

 

K U P

we'll alert the media...

 

get on up Shell

[video=youtube;qHeno2iXlBc]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qHeno2iXlBc&feature=youtu.be[/video]

 

Just beginning to dig through this treade...woah, thanks for this...the older my keedz get the more this occurs to me...and stories like this...you never know when the cup runneth dry

 

Upon reading some more I guess I got some qs...

Is this play? Like feather and tongue tickley sh1t?

Is this penetration? Dildo or baby carrot stuff?

Or is this full on rape? Like pinniped strap on sh1t?

If numero uno...like foreplay stuff and she promises to ride that thang and cum wo any hand stimulation and double fist it after whilst riding and then swallow I'd be down

(No offense Betty)

 

Good to know. I heard during the 'prep' you do not want to stray more than 5 feet from a sturdy firmly-mounted toilet. As far as the procedure goes, maybe I'll go with no drugs so I can report back to Seldom with details and maybe discover some things about myself along the way. It's a journey.

 

Indeed, if you didn't have a slutty porn chick phase in your life then you really missed out. It's *always* worth the risk, unless you die.

 

Whaddup my dawg...

 

What's up KR...still Keeping it Real I hope.

 

Sheldonne,

Got out of work at a decent hour for once yesterday and took the wife out on a date night last night for the first time in months, Sushi, hockey game, bought her a hat, drinks after, and got rewarded with Grade A XXX porno sex last night. For the official record, nothing was inserted into any butts...

I did tell her aboot this thread and yer need for life advise though. She didn't understand why yer lady wanted to do that, as she's never had that urge. I reminded her though that we're all freaks in one way or another, to which she agreed. One night cruising xhamster convinced her that even at our freakiest we don't even come close to the whacked out fetishes out there.

I'll try to check in more often, but if you could start out any updates with a summary, something like, "Previously on Tales From Seldom's A$$...", that would be great.

Keep us posted homey...

Tlok

 

funniest thread ever...so many good jokes. Thanks.

 

^ ... with the ghey jokes.

lets put it this way, if the world was ending, and there was absolute chaos outside, i mean human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria.. and the only way to avert that crisis and save the planet was to have your lady stick a baby carrot up your a$$..