Off to college

http://www.rd.com/true-stories/inspiring/rob-lowe-son-college/

 

First , congrats zippy. Second that sucks if you can't get the sessions in with him as you use to.
It's an honor to grow a kid. I know people that don't interact with their kids or basically dont know them or their likes and dislikes. Be proud man, sounds like you did it right.

 

Ha! Ah,you'll get used to it, just make sure he never catches you doing nothing.

 

Letting go of the kids is tough.

Surprisingly, my parents were fine with me heading off. They knew I needed the experience and time to live on my own, figure out myself. I was also only 2 hrs away and the breaks were great, month to three months long at a time. You'll adjust and so will he. Gotta spread his wings some time, but you should still have ample time to chillz if he comes back on breaks.

It was actually the hardest for me and my parents when I graduated and got a job two states away. I can vividly remember my pops, holding it all together until he left. He helped move me in to my place and stayed at my apartment for the weekend. When it was Sunday night, he was getting ready to leave, kind of hurrily, and I know he broke down in the car right outside my place. He sat there for a solid 5 minutes before leaving. That was only the second time in my life I saw my dad get like that and he's kind of a badazz. Leaving my mom was tough too. I broke down a couple times, for the first couple of years visiting back home. I'd drive out and just get so emo some times. But, you know, we all have our calling.

Just embrace the opportunities you have and be happy for him. That's my 2 cents.

 

Good luck zippy. I got the same thing coming in 2 years. My wife and I actually have been going on dates without family or friends to prepare for the alone time. I will be heartbroken. My boy and I are close. We don't know where he will end up but his options range from close to pretty darn far away. He is also an athlete thus will not be able come home very often. Keep us posted how it goes. Feel for ya!

 

Thanks for blazing the trail. My son started kindergarten last week and my daughter starts 4K on thurs. Big changes in this house too.

 

Your dumb for letting him go to college unless he is hell bent on having a white collar trade like doctor or engineer. Most likely college will be a huge waste of money and time that could be better spent literally doing anything else. The college system is a joke and will make a joke of you and your sons money as bankers bareback you senseless, all so some institutionalized teacher can preach modern liberal sensibilities.

I know union iron workers and non union welders who make from 90,000 to 150,000 a year.

Underwater welding and bridge inspection will net you six figures. Or you can wear a suit and make half that lol

 

You are an idiot. ^^
College is about education, Zippy, about learning and widening your scope of understanding, and shaking off the chains of parochialism.
AND....college grads do, on average, earn more over a lifetime. Certainly was the case with me.

Now, on the silly side....did you tuck away a bong in his suitcase?? Rolling papers?? Condoms??

 

Yeah Zip when my kid went to school it was like a kick in the nuts. Huge depression for a few weeks. Now (hes a junior) it's like 'what day are you leaving for school?'

 

I read recently that his is no longer the case.

 

Just look on the bright side Zippy, you are sending a son as opposed to a daughter. As Barry wrote, lots of guys packing condoms eager to meet their new 'friends'.

 

So I'm 27, will be 28 in just a little more than a month. It on my own, full time career, own place, engaged, completely on my own. I also never went away to college, i stayed local.... twice. Although i never went away i know plenty who did and spent a little over a month living on a campus of a school i did not attend. Unemployment.

So here's my experience. He's not grown up. He's growing up and this is a growing experience. But he's not grown up. However he will feel like he's more grown up than he actually is. People tend to harp on the whole "being on your own" thing. He's not. He's living under a diffrent roof. That's it. A roof he's not paying for (most likely), eating food he's not paying for (again, most likely). You and your wife are still supporting him. I feel its not till he's out of college, in the mid 20s that your really grown up. But like i said, he will feel grown up. There will be times he needs to fall back on you. It may hurt he's ego and be an eye opener that he's not as independent as he thought.

When i first went to college i had a plan. It sounded great. None of it happened. I had no real life experience. It wasn't till after college that i grew up enough to see the big picture. That's when i went back to school for hvac. Surprisingly the local community college had a better program then the trade schools. While there i realized how much older i was then these kids out of high school. It was only by a few years but it felt like decades. So immature. There views on the world and life were so skewed, sheltered.

College seems like a much bigger deal then it is. I'm not saying it's not a big change or anything. But in the grand scheme of things, its minor. Although in his eyes he's probably feeling like he's a full fledged adult.

I guess my point is, don't sweat it. Be there for him because he will need you. When he takes a shot to his ego, comfort him but be real. It's just a few short years. When he gets out that's when the real growing happens. That's when things come together and real life starts. To answer your specific question about beginnings or endings.... he probably feels like he's starting adulthood, in reality its just his last few years of being a kid.

 

We will all have to deal with that at one point. My son is 14 months he's staying out for a while! We're heading to Nicaragua in September he already has his passport. I could see how this would be very difficult I already do everything with my son and he's not doing anything athletic yet. Take a surf vacation with him come winter break to break up the school year.

 

I have 3 kids... and so far I've sent two off to college. My daughter's still in high school. I'll be honest and say there was a lot of satisfaction in the fact that they both became their own men, and were making solid, adult decisions about their lives and direction they wanted to go as adults on their own. For me, there came a point where I had to stop judging whether I thought where they were taking their lives was right or wrong, because that simply wasn't my job anymore. Fortunately, the decisions they started making were ones I could live with, and I felt good that... if they were doing things as young men that I really didn't agree with, the mistakes I made as a parent happened a long time ago.

I guess what I'm saying is by the time my sons went off to college, they were already men in my eyes. Did I miss them? Sure... in some ways. But any sadness was completely overcome by the fact that I was at peace with myself as a parent... not being perfect, but doing the best I could... the best I knew how. And that I could at least point them in the right direction and watch them go made me feel like I did my job as a father.

On the other hand... it was really nice to finally have gas in the car, food in the fridge, and hot water for my morning shower, too!