Please allow me to introduce myself...

First let me just say that, no, I’m not Zach Gaffer, I’m Zach Gaffer’s twin brother, Gill. I taught Gaff everything he knew about Swellinfo; I want to fulfil his legacy by taking his place in your drinking competition. And if I could just ask one favor, if you guys could just call me Gaff in honor of him?

And just so that you feller swellers know I’m bonafide:

I am 14 years old and I live in Mom’s basement in Oceanside, CA.
It's the only house in all of California with a basement.


I am the real SouthJettyBill, I also post under the handles NewJerseyShredMachine, RoyStuart, & Jesus

I get all my medical advice from swellinfo and like our glorious President elect, I have learned, "When in doubt just ask someone to pee on you.”

I like to trade stocks and commodities.


I don't surf 23’ers; but perhaps someday if I can find someone stupid enough and who owns a jet ski, I will. This is either my local, Oceanside Harbor or Belmar, NJ.; difficult to say.


Cmon Scobes, we can do this! How's south county? NoCo sucks

I don’t do bench offs.

My hobbies all involve whiskey.

I do not drive a white GTR like Vin Diesel’s.

My all time favorite tread: http://www.swellinfo.com/forum/showthread.php?15010-Surfers which tells you what SI is all about.

“Buy the ticket, take the ride.”

So why am I here? Well:

When I was young when I posted, I posted cause kelly slater did it. I posted cause it was hyped, I posted cause it got chicks. I posted because it was the party. I posted cause it got the cool car and uh, I got all those cool things and they all just became, just, just you know, stuff; but it's all about the feeling I get from riding that thread. That first thread is the reason why everyone keeps going back. It's like anything if you didn't like it the first time, you're not gonna go back and do it again. Like, I tried iceskating, I ate it, I didn't go back again ever. Like, that wasn't for me, iceskating was out. posting, if you catch a good thread, you're hooked, right then and there. I have a lot of inner demons, if I didn't have posting to get those out of my system, I would self-destruct. posting's the only reason that keeps me going in a normal state, that keeps my life at an even keel. Without it it would just tip into oblivion. For been posting, I swear I'll be honest, I wasn't having fun, I was going out, putting a jersey on, doing what I was supposed to do and it was just repetition. And I literally lost my will to compete and I wouldn't be doing right it now if I didn't have the will. I mean, it's not as strong as it used to be, but I know it's growing. The whole reason I started was I lost so many heats to get to where I was. I lost to a girl my first contest ever and I quit for a year and I never touched a jersey and I had to pick up the jersey after that and get back in there. And that's the only reason I got to where I'm at or I was at 5 years ago when I won those titles and I haven't won a title in a long time; but I'm getting back in the jersey and I'm not winning heats yet, but I gotta start somewhere. First thread I ever caught, I remember it to this day, clear as day, I went left, right, left and the thread never broke and I thought right then, "This is the coolest thing in the world." And from that day on I told my Dad every night, "I wanna go posting, I wanna go posting, I wanna go posting." It all started with going left, right, left on one thread at the pier and I literally will never forget that thread. Till the day I die that was like one of the purest moments of my whole life and it always will be.

I post because I'm always a better person when I come in.

Slide On

 

Hey Fam!

Sadly, I'm pretty sure ol Gaff v1.0 is dead, dead, dead.



That's what happens when you let a grossly incompetent moron have access to a MySQL database, all of Gaff1.0's posts have been completely deleted an Metard's still perma banned. im not too worried about old content whatever, it's your clicks morons, the rethread an FCS hole treade had one of the best search engine results on the site, but hey... What do I know about the interweebs?

Free The Tard

 

Khajiit has wares to trade, if you have coin.

Only the finest of whale jizz for discerning customers

 

Sláinte!