Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Try and find a job on the East coast, more waves over here, is it her family or your family, there is a lot of variables here, if its her family ....good luck brother, if its your family you might have a chance, I don't know that's a tough one, I just couldn't see myself driving that much, with that said, living on the East coast and 10 minutes from my home break, it sure is nice to catch some waves after work till dark. Good Luck and hope you find a happy medium.

 

Go - no one ever said, "Man, I can't believe I moved closer to the beach. What a mistake..."

 

Let's not get too whimsical, if every dreaming transient "denizen" lived directly on the beach because they wanted to, there'd be no beach left. Not trying to be a gloomy Gus here, but that's the truth. Moving closer to the water, cool, go for it; buying a house right on the beach that's gonna get washed away, not cool IMO.

 

if you are going to do it now is the time. 1- stay debt free, 2- save some $s, 3-find the job, 4- make the move/learn the area and 5-buy the house.

 

Ha, yes. So true. No one ever.

 

Very practical. If you want it that bad, you could rent or lease to own. LTO is only good if set up properly on a contractual level. There are some real deals out there if you take the time.

 

Of course that is accurate. However, we'd have to first assume that the majority of the populace knows that their self-actualization is within reach and the true power of their free will. Thanks to them enjoying being the 80 out of the 80-20 Rule, the things worth having will always stay out of their reach because of their self-limiting mindset.

As for oceanfront washing away, that is a sad reality for many places. I am quite fortunate to be in a spot that it's very unlikely to happen to. Can't ever say "never", though if Sandy and Nemo are good indications, I'm safe.

 

The beauty of getting what we want is the risk in laying it all on the line. If you go half-speed, you'll get caught in the middle and lose as much as you would if you didn't go for it. I accepted long ago that I'm not at all like others, but I know for myself, the greatest possible curse would be the weight of a single regret. That doesn't mean I spend 24/7 flying by the seat of my pants with double six-shooters firing away.

You can't have it all, but we don't need it all. We can have what we want if our priorities are aligned with our hierarchy of values and we commit to maintaining those priorities to see our wishes through. There are enough larger than life and against all odds stories and examples out there for us to see this is true. Then again, faith is believing in the unseen and your dreams are unseen until they come to pass which they will, lest you fail to maintain faith in yourself.

DPSUP - Don't worry about screwing anything up. Fears are very good at manifesting themselves as reality. Don't fear, and you won't lose. Play to win. Always. Don't play not to lose. What you learn about yourself and the world along the journey of making calculated risks and overcoming adversity is the true gift. The oceanfront view is just a nice added bonus.

 

Tough call when family is involved.When parents get old it's nice to be close by to give them a hand.Another thing is whether you guys Like your job.Most people I know hate their job.As much as I love to surf,making sure we have a roof over our head is first.My best advice is listen to your wife.A happy wife is a happy life.

 

The fact that you're asking tells me that you're not sure and are very comfortable with your current situation.
Life isn't about sitting in your comfort zone , it's a journey . The best part about being where I am ( really close to the beach ) 50 years old ish and debt free is that I have had to pass on a few luxuries. While my friends were out buying everything in sight toys, boards, boats, bigger boats and more toys , I kept my eye on the prize .

The prize is being where I'm at and doing what I do and planning the next chapter. The best part of getting to where you want to be isn't just getting there it's the journey and all the cool things that happen along the way.

Stop thinking about how much money you make and learn to want what you already have.
Have a great journey Bro!

 

each man has to make his own decision as to what is best for him/herself. I made the choice to move away from the beach to the great city of Philadelphia for a higher paying job. When I turned 30, I felt some internal pressure to get a higher paying job/settle down, etc. After moving, there was a honeymoon period where i did enjoy all of the new cultural opportunities that the city offered. the beach did factor into the decision (heavily) as I chose a job in Philly as opposed to Phoenix based on proximity to the beach. When the honeymoon of the move wore off, it was as if I had lost my best friend. I witnessed myself become easily agitated, had an increase loss of focus, and have been generally unhappy for the past year and a half. Recently caught some fun ones during the Andrea swell (VA) and watched my mentality take a complete 180. The salt water is my therapy for life (fishing, surfing, etc.) Living near the water means everything to me, and I realized that the city was eating away my soul. I have been putting out resumes and all of them have been based on location and proximity to the beach. I was fortunate enough to find a new job (for substantially lower pay) near the ocean. Didn't take much thinking to realize that I needed to make the change for my own personal well-being. Money isn't everything and I hold faith that one day I will find the right set up; As for now, being out of the city and 10 mins to the beach is enough for me.

 

It's all good, brah. Like I said back then, people often criticize what they don't understand. Then we use snap judgments to use the forms of our mental constructs so we can understand that which is different to us. I'm a strange, supernatural mutant of a creature so I'm used to the looks and comments. I often laugh at myself because a couple of the best friends I've ever had were people that on first glance I thought "man, what an idiot." I find that I criticize that which I'm either pissed is a projection of something in myself, or something that I wish I was.

The introspective reading is very good. I could give you several titles that have been difference makers for me. In the end, it's all repetitive affirmations. Nothing we ever need to know is that complex, we just tend to forget to remember it!

Tons of good statements and frames of mind on this thread. Props to you for putting yourself out there on the pedestal for honest feedback that everyone seems to be giving in the right ways.

A couple of things that resonate with me that I've heard so far:
- Family. It's always first. Without them we are nothing.
- The good wife. If you got one, and she is the right one, she is your strength. It's a team decision from that point. If you don't have one, don't fill the void with the wrong one, because the one you want is waiting for you to become strong enough for her.
- Wherever you go, there you are. People migrate to what they need. Sometimes we have no clue that we arrived at the destination we've been dying to get to. It just sometimes looks completely different than what we envisioned. Don't let that filet mignon go bad while you sit there pining away for that 80% lean burger.

 

I haven't read all of these responses so just keep that in mind.....if I repeat or whatever.......

The grass isn't always greener on the other side........

Sometimes people who live inland actually surf more than those at the coast. If you make the drive, you are going out no matter what, right?

Sometimes the closer you are to the beach the more excuses you make......ahhh I'll wait till the tide drops.....ahhh I'll wait until the winds slack........ahhhh I'll hit it first thing tomorrow.....Ironically since it's always right there some might tend to get lazy.......maybe.......after awhile........and actually surf less. After a year or two being in a new coastal locale you might have to change your moniker to, "Dusk Patrol SUP" or "Tomorrow Patrol SUP." Oh, it happens. I lived a half-block from that ocean in North Carolina. I never surfed less. Maybe that was the booze. I don't know......

The drives are a hassle? Don't you always got a lid? A two finger lid?? Three? Driving is swell when you got a lid.

Hey, I'm not being cocky, I'm serious here: Are you really going to weigh the advice from Swellinfo dudes? If so, you Swellinfo guys should be honored.