Straw Poll: Call Out of Work Excuses (asking for a friend...)

Discussion in 'All Discussions' started by jettyface, Sep 17, 2014.

  1. jettyface

    jettyface Well-Known Member

    Aug 5, 2009
    So here's the straight dope. My buddy and noted SI forum lurker says he "absolutely has to go to work" tomorrow due to a must attend back-to-school night.

    I disagree and contend that with a little bit of contortion of the truth that he will be able to liberate himself from the shackles of being a responsible adult and go surf tomorrow (and still make back to school night). In the infinite wisdom of the SI forum, I am hoping that he will find a suitable excuse. Ready, go.
  2. cepriano

    cepriano Well-Known Member

    Apr 20, 2012
    what does heres the straight dope mean?is that a new phrase lol?

    tell your buddy to call out of work and say im going surfing.fuk it,if hes still in school he could lose a job,no big deal.I havnt taken a day off work in 4 years so don't know too many excuses.winter time is better u can say ur sick,ur water heater died,etc.u cant call out of work in September when its 75degrees and say your sick

  3. Gus

    Gus Member

    Aug 11, 2014
    He wakes up tomorrow morning with diarrhea. It must be a 24 hour thing because he's fine by tomorrow night. Or his dog got really sick and he had to make an emergency vet appointment.

    This one actually did happen to me...he just noticed a leak in his house and it just so happens that the only time the contractor could come out and take a look is tomorrow around 1030. That should at least get him out of work through lunch.
  4. Mr.Belmar

    Mr.Belmar Well-Known Member

    Aug 19, 2010
    Just tell them the truth- I want to take a pto day today to go surf.
  5. Riley Martin's Disgruntled Neighbor

    Riley Martin's Disgruntled Neighbor Well-Known Member

    Aug 22, 2012
    Pink Eye. Costas got pulled from the Olympics. Its incredibly infectious.

    "Hello Barbara. Hi, Scott. Listen, I woke up this morning and my right eye was basically glued shut. Yeah, its awful. I have the worst case of pink eye ever. Yup, awful. My nephew was over two days ago and I just found out he's got it. I'm going to stay home and wait out the 48 hour infectious period, and will be applying the drops. Ok great. Listen I'm so sorry to hang you out here, but I just can't infect the whole staff... jeesh, I cant infect our whole school. Thanks for understanding barb, I'd hate to be the 'typhoid scott' of Belmar Elementary.

    And then when you go back, just smoke a quick jib on the way to work for the red-eye effect. Viola!
  6. bubs

    bubs Well-Known Member

    Sep 12, 2010
    Kinda got to bite the bullet I think if it is his career but I don't know him, his boss, what he can get away with, etc.

    I'll think about this more.

    Two things
    1. Buddy if you are reading on here!!
    2. I kinda don't think tomorrow will be worth calling out of work unless you can do so conveniently. I don't think it will be worth getting people on your trail especially bossman.

    And I am the guy that would blow off almost anything to surf crap.
  7. Riley Martin's Disgruntled Neighbor

    Riley Martin's Disgruntled Neighbor Well-Known Member

    Aug 22, 2012
    The Dalai Lama of the Forum has spoken. 12th son of the Lama.....


    Sep 17, 2013
    bubonics has really come into his own here as of late, mad good posts in the past few weeks, really enjoyed reading everything hes posting

    bubonicsphonics you start a new exercise regimen? new pharmies? find a new cheap/free beer source?

    OP: How many sick days does he have? if they dont roll over he should use them all...make them sssiiiccccc days
  9. leetymike808

    leetymike808 Well-Known Member

    Nov 16, 2013
    Diarrhea, no one wants to hear the details of it, and it will be gone by the next day anyhow, plus nobody wants somebody that could possibly shat themselves at any moment around the workplace.

    If you wanna get the point across say explosive.

    Its my go to, never had any boss question it.
  10. metard

    metard Well-Known Member

    Mar 11, 2014

  11. seldom seen

    seldom seen Well-Known Member

    Aug 21, 2012
    I took tomorrow, but I had time. The key e
    W sick time, imo, is you always have to go to work when you're actually sick. Then it's more believable when you use it.
  12. seldom seen

    seldom seen Well-Known Member

    Aug 21, 2012
    And you could always just **** your pants at work.
  13. jettyface

    jettyface Well-Known Member

    Aug 5, 2009
    I assume he has many available days, the problem is, as a teacher, he must show up later that night at back-to-school night as if there was no excuse to call out at all.
  14. jettyface

    jettyface Well-Known Member

    Aug 5, 2009
    Excellent choice.
  15. cepriano

    cepriano Well-Known Member

    Apr 20, 2012
    I always had stomach problems,if I don't poop I get a like a knife stabbing pain in my lower abdomen that lasts for my old job I had them stomach aches a few times and after a while they always thought I was just bullshytin,even tho I was in pain lol.but im sure if ur shootin water out your azz and u come out the bathroom leaving a trail with turds falling out your pants leg they should let u take the rest of the day this at 730 in the morning and youl have all day to surf 2 footers
  16. Slashdog

    Slashdog Well-Known Member

    May 22, 2012
    For this exact reason, the "diarrhea" excuse is viable- it's relatively common, and clears up in hours. As someone else said, showing up after lunch or so would probably be his best bet. Diarrhea can keep you on the can for only so long, once you eat enough immodium, it will work, as many travelers here can attest.

    That being said, it is only a viable excuse. All of the good or excellent excuses involve lying in ways that may make you feel uncomfortable. For example ...

    ...My ex had a job and was told by her boss "if you are late again, you will be fired." The job was sh*t, but she was 20 & from a f*cked household, so she needed it. We fooled around too long one day, and next thing you know, we are sitting in her car, in front of the job, and she is very late. "What are you gonna say?" I asked her. After a pause, she said "I got this," and walked inside.

    15 minutes later, she came back to the car, with her face red and her eyes teary. I figured they had fired her and asked her what happened. She told me... "I walked into the back, and I just erupted into tears uncontrollably. They asked me what happened, and I told them that the doctor found a lump in my breast! HA!" She smiled with mischievous wonder as another tear fell down her face. I said "I don't believe in hell, but if it exists, you are definitely going."

    So, something like that would probably work (Prostate cancer, mom in hospital, aunt died, dog got hit by a car, etc.). If you can handle it, mysto-lurker. You could also just wait for Sunday's short period swell.
    Last edited: Sep 17, 2014
  17. EmassSpicoli

    EmassSpicoli Well-Known Member

    Apr 16, 2013
    Agreed, BBP is on point like acupuncture. I've always had a high opinion of his material here. He seems to be the beneficiary of good self-talk and daily affirmations of stoke and alpha dominance. Props, bro.

    Ssssiiiccccc days sound straight dope!

    MATT JOHNSON Well-Known Member

    Oct 11, 2009
    I only take off or call out when my kids are "sick" nobody can argue with parent taking care of a sick child . I have a pretty cool job and I can move my schedule around to fit me needs
  19. EmassSpicoli

    EmassSpicoli Well-Known Member

    Apr 16, 2013
    sic bro, you talk like a pirate too! You really are a legend! Gnarly.

    MATT JOHNSON Well-Known Member

    Oct 11, 2009