just copy/pasted from telling a non-surfing buddy so if some things seem dumbed down, that is why: pretty far out and no one is out where the good'ns are which is perfect. out for about an hour or so, tearing **** up like a total poseidon (god of the sea), when a lifeguard whizzes up on his waterjetmobile and says uhh yo man you cant be out this far without fins. i lift my leg out of the water to reveal the aforementioned footwear and he said ahhh aight and vrooms off. i continue splashing about having a great time. i am very far out and there is a significant distance between me and the bathers which is fantastic. i then notice an older guy, heavy but not fat, probably late 50s just treading water about 15-20ft behind me and to the left. he says something to me like "_______ board" and i dont understand him so i say "what?" in a friendly way. sometimes people like to comment on what im up to like hurr hurr you are doing wave stuff lulz. i wanna hear what quip he has come up with so he repeats himself but i still dont hear, so i give him the *one second* gesture as a somewhat large wave is passing and i have to just duck under it real quicklike. i come up and i say "okay sorry one more time" and now he switches from whatever he was saying originally to just 'i need help' in a calm overtone with somewhat panicky undertones. "absolutely" i cheerfully reply as i paddle over and offer him my board to grab onto. not sure how deep it is, mightve been 8ft might have been 20 but either way unless youre a good swimmer or you have help (fins/board) you really shouldnt be out that far. i try to make some idle chit chat to make him not feel stupid or uncomfortable. "nice weather lolllll". he said he was just swimming and suddenly he was out far and couldnt get back in and that his son was in and hes a really good swimmer blah blah just talkative from nerves i guess. so i say hey you want me to just bring you in a bit to where you can stand up and naturally he says yes. im tugging him along for a minute just casually since he was fine, no reason to freak out and paddle for my life. from the time he said help to the time the two lifeguards met us was probably 5 or 6 minutes, maybe more. they got to us and i just made sure everything was cool and they took him and i went back to carving up waves like christmas hams or thanksgiving turkeys, or really whatever holiday meat you prefer. it feels good man, im a ****ing hero i think to myself as i bask in the bright sun and warm water. that guy is probably on the beach pointing at me like yo that guy allowed me to not even come close to dying today. what a great day so far, mostly! then i hear the lifeguard's classic whistle. ah yes, wrangle those sea-plebs while i demonstrate my aquatic superiority. i look back and the lifeguard is now standing on his tower of power and pointing at me while whistling. ooookay? maybe i have to come collect my reward/medal or sign something saying that it was, in fact, ocbp that saved him and not me. whatever, i go in begrudgingly. they meet me in waist deep water and say the following: hey mann like we know you know what youre doing and stuff, but like you being out that far is making other people go out too far.. like all up and down the beach *pointing* it is spreading and people are going out too far" they basically asked me to go somewhere else, and i was going to tell them to show a little gratitude but i was too high on how great of a day it was so i just walked a couple blocks down to the unguarded area so i wouldnt be a public menace anymore. that is the end, i hope the story rustled your jimmies like it did mine when it all went down.
Can you copy and paste more of your convos with non-surfing buds? Better yet, show us how you spit the printed word to wahines.
Police said Michael Brown, 18, physically assaulted the officer from the Ferguson police, who then fired multiple shots at Brown after he left the car on Saturday. The officer, who was not identified, is a six-year veteran and has been put on administrative leave, St. Louis County Police Chief Jon Belmar told a news conference. look everybody chief john BELMAR!!!!
Whenever the lifeguards f with me I tell them "thanks for your help Mitch, you seem to have left your yellow wellcraft scarab with the light bar unattended", then I ignore them
Having moved to NJ from HI last fall, I'm still new to this whole seasonal lifeguard/beach patrol/pay to kick it at the beach stuff. I've been sticking to unguarded beaches all summer to avoid dealing with this kind of thing, but... When exactly are they gone?
not soon enough. as their staff dwindles they tend to mellow (a bit) with respect to surfers but 'good riddance day' is the day after labor day.
Here in Ocean City they hang around at a few beaches until late September just to piss off the surfers.
