1. throw somebody's sh!t in the water 2 ride whatever you want 3. be nice to girls in the water. like extra nice. like too nice. you can't agro vibe them away. but the creepy rapeface will usually work. 4. have good names for the ones arond you..... like there's windmill arms or there's hunchback or stiffleg or chrome dome or bro-bot. 5. don't burn ppl. it makes yo look like a f@ggot. 6. do not ever try to verbalize what yo did on the last wave.....also f@ggot. seven - if you camp on me... it's on. i will make your session suck. i will paddle all fcking around you with my extra monkey long arms. 8. i am retardid 9. have fun 10. the first spot you check will almost always be better than the rest.
You forgot one, asshole. Cudas Law of Surf Dynamics...."first person in the water determines where the crowd will be".
Leave your towel and board bag in the car. You are at the beach to surf. Unless of course you're making a day of it, in which case bring as much stuff as possible. If you're on a marathon sesh, bring a granola bar in your pocket. It will stay dry in the wrapper. Badger brand stick sunscreen. On small days, ride a longboard. Even a wavestorm is cooler than struggling to catch shin high rollers on a potato chip thruster. Have specific boards for riding shorebreak. Underarmour should NEVER be worn as a rash guard. Tiny half-thong bikinis rule That is all
heres my summer tips 1.dont look to ur sides when paddling,just paddle,dont worry about the 10 other dudes ur dropping in on,they will have their turn sometime. 2.when catching the wave of the day,go straight,then when somebody tries to take off down the line,cut back into the wave and tackle him,tell him hes a kook,locals only,then throw his shyt in the water. 3.make a lot of noise before u start paddling so everyone starts looking,u see a guy to ur left closer to the peak,tell him to phuc koff. 4.dont use a leash,only wear a leash if ur out alone,if theres 30 other people,somebody will eventually catch ur board,or get hit in the face with it. 5.and last make sure u put ur wetsuite on both legs at the same time.and summer the water is warm,so where a 5/4,only using the legs,keep ur chest and arms free,and put 6mil gloves on and a detachable hood.that will let the kooks know this guy is legit.
Too legit to quit, yo!!! dont forget to use multi colored zincoxyde like war paint like escape from new york theyll think your in a gay gang and leve the water before they get butt raped thats my go to strategy for summertime kook patrol.
