Swell Info Confessions

Mark Ebner. Dude from high school daze. He was utterly trashed & making out with a girl at a party. Puked hard in her mouf. She was literally picking chunks out of her mouf & screaming at him while he was continuing to puke on the lawn.
Ebner was a funky dude.

 

+1 ^^
waynetheinsaaaaaane, proving his wack job existence yet again. Shouldn't you be over on MSW with all your traitor buds, nutbag?

 

No Sh!t! You're Wayne??? Man I woulda never guessed. Wayne Jesus will punish you for trolling...and poorly at that. Look at Mr. Fun's thread if you want to be an effective rabble rouser.

 

I'm an atheist.

 

I poop too much

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7wqqEtBlNc

 

Confessions:

I spend an hour on the toilet every day. I do most of my posting at the toilet.

I too pick my nose regularly.

I own slaves. In my defense, my slave lot is diversified with slaves of all race, creed, and color.

I tea bagged my friend Dave's face when he was passed out at a kegger in the woods in high school.

Once this wannabe thug dude passed out at my apartment in a recliner on the porch so we shot him over 500 with a bebe gun. In the face, his balls (through the pants), etc. Everywhere. When he woke up we told him he got stung by bees.

I am attracted to girls with red hair.

At 14 I set fire to a dumpster in a Catholic Church. So as not to be discriminatory, that summer I also set fire to the woods bordering a Jewish cemetery. It was near a half pipe in the woods. I did this with an SI vet who may or may not wish to chime in.

I <3 Dutch hookers. Respect the game son.

I will get drunk at weddings and dance like my life is on fire ONLY to the jackson 5.

The list goes on. I'm a messed up dude.

 

i own a 7s only rode it twice.

 

i steal plant material from my brothers stash all the time.

whenever i take a my nightly poop i enjoy picking out the lint from my buttcrack that has accumulated throughout the day.

i pick and eat my boogers regularly. i've had this scab in my nose for like a week now and i keep picking it and it bleeds a little bit every time.

just yesterday i needed to get rid of a vodka bottle that i had so i pissed in it and left it in my school bathroom in the morning. it was a blue skyy bottle so hopefully nobody that came in after me took a swig of it.

i'm pretty sure i have acute schizophrenia, but i'd rather not tell anyone.

i take sh!ts on people doorsteps way more than the average teenager should.

last summer i keyed a 2014 sti that belongs to some rich renter kid across the street from me. he deserved it.

i do all this **** yet i maintain a 3.82 gpa in school.

the list goes on, i'll continue once i get done with my homework

 

I lost my virginity when I was 7 years old. To a girl.

 

I feel way more at peace on frozen water than in liquid water. So technically, I enjoy skiing more than surfing.

 

Da f*ck to this too

 

you must see the goonies and the ghostbusters as well. must sees. I love the part with the statue and the bs that mouth feeds the spanish speaking cleaning lady. Goonies reminds me of being a kid when kids went outside.

 

I once attached a wire across the train tracks with one of my hoodlum friends and figured out it made the crossing gate go down from pretty far away. We then made it touch then took it off repetitively. This made the crossing gate go up down up down up down...so a school bus and a car crashed but we didn't know so we kept doing it. My friend says hey theres someone coming down the tracks and im like no way you're paranoid. 2 min later the transit worker is there telling us we killed someone. We crapped our pants and ran. Like an idiot i'm wearing my baseball uniform with my name on the back as I had a game like an hour later. During the game I was pitching I was just waiting for the helicopters and the FBI. As it turned out the transit guy was just trying to scare us but we made the police blotter....2 unidentified youths caused a fender bender....I threw the only no hitter I ever threw but basically didn't even notice as I was too busy looking for the authorities

 

wire ties on the driveshaft work wonders. dont cut off the ends tap tap tap tap tap everywhere you go

 

Wayne are you a licensed ordained minister? Just curious.

 

you should give the swellinfo dudes a shoutout in your next video



...in the name of christ obviously

 

This is not a confession booth, you are in the wrong place...fyi

 

One more ... in college i krazy glued my least favorite roommates door shut while he was in there and launched about 10 moon whistler bottle rockets with the sticks snapped off under the door.

 

Yes I am. We have a church in Cocoa Beach. You are ever in the area, stop by.

 

When I was a child, I was at a friends house, and we were swimming in the pool with her dog. The dog took a sh*t in the pool, and took a lot of heat for it. I'm the only one who knows.... it wasn't the dog.