The feeling "fat" epidemic

Deal was breaking third reef today

 

I know... I was too fat to paddle out.

 

Thanks brah, but truth be told, the full moon has performance-enhancing properties for my funny bone and the remainder of the lunation period I'm just annoying as hell. That is, aside from the Whacking Gibbous phase where I'm capable of a bit of wit but no guarantees.

 

You guys got the diet thing all wrong!

Look, if you do a couple lines of coke or even smoke a little meth at least once or twice a day for about 6 months you will be slim in trim in no time!

In fact just the other day I saw my neighbor and he went from 235lbs to 95lbs in less than 6 months! His wife was 320lbs and is now down to 82lbs!

Now that's some healthy living! Richard Simmons needs to pick up a few pointers from these people!

Hey not only will it keep you slim and trim but you won't feel as cold while you are out in the line-up. It really seems to build up your heart rate and keep your body numb.

Not only will it help you with your physical condition but also financial burdens. No more having to worry about keeping to much money in your bank account. Just stay on this program and you will never have that problem! This really keeps people from asking you for money too!

So give it try folks. Don't forget to weigh in first though so we can get an accurate measurement and keep track of the pounds shedding!