The Lighter Side

Discussion in 'All Discussions' started by nopantsLance, Feb 20, 2017.

Page 10 of 71
  1. Jan 1, 2018 #181
    DosXX

    DosXX Well-Known Member

    3,578
    Mar 2, 2013
    “Poor Old fool,” thought the well-dressed gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. So he invited the old man inside for a drink. As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought he’d humor the old man and asked, “So how many have you caught today?”

    The old man replied, “You’re the eighth.”
     
    DosXX, Jan 1, 2018
    DosXX, Jan 1, 2018
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  3. Jan 2, 2018 #182
    DosXX

    DosXX Well-Known Member

    3,578
    Mar 2, 2013
    [​IMG]
     
    DosXX, Jan 2, 2018
    DosXX, Jan 2, 2018
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  5. Jan 3, 2018 #183
    nopantsLance

    nopantsLance Well-Known Member

    4,745
    Aug 15, 2016
     
    nopantsLance, Jan 3, 2018
    nopantsLance, Jan 3, 2018
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  6. Jan 3, 2018 #184
    sisurfdogg

    sisurfdogg Well-Known Member

    5,399
    Jun 17, 2013
    This makes me want to huurrrrrrrllllllll!!!!
     
    sisurfdogg, Jan 3, 2018
    sisurfdogg, Jan 3, 2018
  7. Jan 5, 2018 #185
    DosXX

    DosXX Well-Known Member

    3,578
    Mar 2, 2013
    Sort of funny...but mostly, I just liked the picture...
    [​IMG]

    Bruce Jones was a well known, well respected So. Calif shaper. Mr. Jones passed in Jan 2014 at age 69.
     
    DosXX, Jan 5, 2018
    DosXX, Jan 5, 2018
  8. Jan 5, 2018 #186
    nopantsLance

    nopantsLance Well-Known Member

    4,745
    Aug 15, 2016
    Wife’s Diary:

    We went to a nice restaurant for dinner. I thought he was upset by the fact that I was a bit late, but he said nothing about it. I asked him what was wrong. He said, “Nothing.” I asked him if it was something I had done. He said he wasn’t upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it.

    On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can’t explain his behavior. I don’t know why he didn’t say, “I love you, too.”

    When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, and again he said nothing. He continued to seem distant and absent.

    Finally, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. He fell asleep — I cried. I don’t know what to do. I’m sure his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

    Husband’s Diary:

    Boat wouldn’t start, can’t figure it out!!
     
    nopantsLance, Jan 5, 2018
    nopantsLance, Jan 5, 2018
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  9. Jan 6, 2018 #187
    Barry Cuda

    Barry Cuda Guest

    As a former boat owner this ^^^ is funny and so true!!
     
    Barry Cuda, Jan 6, 2018
    Barry Cuda, Jan 6, 2018
  10. Jan 6, 2018 #188
    DosXX

    DosXX Well-Known Member

    3,578
    Mar 2, 2013
    Bad Moms...
     
    DosXX, Jan 6, 2018
    DosXX, Jan 6, 2018
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  11. Jan 7, 2018 #189
    Sniffer

    Sniffer Well-Known Member

    1,186
    Sep 20, 2010
    Thank God for whores!
     
    Sniffer, Jan 7, 2018
    Sniffer, Jan 7, 2018
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  12. Jan 7, 2018 #190
    La_Piedra

    La_Piedra Well-Known Member

    2,948
    Oct 9, 2017
    Dew.
     
    La_Piedra, Jan 7, 2018
    La_Piedra, Jan 7, 2018
  13. Jan 7, 2018 #191
    DosXX

    DosXX Well-Known Member

    3,578
    Mar 2, 2013
    [​IMG]
     
    DosXX, Jan 7, 2018
    DosXX, Jan 7, 2018
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  14. Jan 7, 2018 #192
    La_Piedra

    La_Piedra Well-Known Member

    2,948
    Oct 9, 2017
    Reminds me of "Apocalypto" lol
     
    La_Piedra, Jan 7, 2018
    La_Piedra, Jan 7, 2018
  15. Jan 7, 2018 #193
    nopantsLance

    nopantsLance Well-Known Member

    4,745
    Aug 15, 2016
    [​IMG]
     
    nopantsLance, Jan 7, 2018
    nopantsLance, Jan 7, 2018
  16. Jan 7, 2018 #194
    sisurfdogg

    sisurfdogg Well-Known Member

    5,399
    Jun 17, 2013
    Once I took a girl I had just met on my boat, a 21' Wellcraft center console open fisherman. We made it out the ramp to open water, but alas, the boat would only go in circles. The steering rod had seized up, my roommate forgot to turn the outboard motor all the way to the left or right upon last use,and it was going in circles and the girl was looking at me like the kook I was. So I had to turn it off and grab a paddle and stroke it back to the marina where I launched it. Did NOT get laid that day, speaking of stroking it.

    One of many many many sad stories of me and boating. Nowadays I prefer a kayak. No drama.
     
    sisurfdogg, Jan 7, 2018
    sisurfdogg, Jan 7, 2018
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  17. Jan 8, 2018 #195
    DosXX

    DosXX Well-Known Member

    3,578
    Mar 2, 2013
    I don't trust outboard motors. Too many bad experiences.
     
    DosXX, Jan 8, 2018
    DosXX, Jan 8, 2018
  18. Jan 8, 2018 #196
    nopantsLance

    nopantsLance Well-Known Member

    4,745
    Aug 15, 2016
    An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog.
    His search ended when he found a dog that could actually
    walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he
    was sure none of his friends would ever believe him.
    He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his,
    a pessimist by nature, and invited him to hunt with him
    and his new dog.
    As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by.
    They fired, and a duck fell. The dog responded and jumped
    into the water. The dog, however, did not sink, but
    instead walked across the water to retrieve the bird,
    never getting more than his paws wet.
    The friend saw everything but did not say a single word.
    On the drive home, the hunter asked his friend, "Did you
    notice anything unusual about my new dog?"
    "I sure did," responded his friend. "The sumbitch can't swim."
     
    nopantsLance, Jan 8, 2018
    nopantsLance, Jan 8, 2018
  19. Jan 8, 2018 #197
    Iggy

    Iggy Well-Known Member

    258
    Jun 14, 2014
    Q. What did the two lesbian frogs say to each other?

    A. WE DO TASTE LIKE CHICHEN.
     
    Iggy, Jan 8, 2018
    Iggy, Jan 8, 2018
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  20. Jan 8, 2018 #198
    La_Piedra

    La_Piedra Well-Known Member

    2,948
    Oct 9, 2017
    I figured that they'd say "rub-it, rub-it".

    #chichen
     
    La_Piedra, Jan 8, 2018
    La_Piedra, Jan 8, 2018
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  21. Jan 8, 2018 #199
    Iggy

    Iggy Well-Known Member

    258
    Jun 14, 2014
    Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?

    A. Marry it.
     
    Iggy, Jan 8, 2018
    Iggy, Jan 8, 2018
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  22. Jan 8, 2018 #200
    La_Piedra

    La_Piedra Well-Known Member

    2,948
    Oct 9, 2017
    Q. How do you make a hormone?



    A. Don't pay her.
     
    La_Piedra, Jan 8, 2018
    La_Piedra, Jan 8, 2018
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