The Lighter Side

Discussion in 'All Discussions' started by nopantsLance, Feb 20, 2017.

  1. DosXX

    DosXX Well-Known Member

    Mar 2, 2013
    Fashion morons and the "Palessi" shoe experiment.
    Saw this on the news. Those who paid the high prices were afterwards reimbursed.
     
  2. Yankkee

    Yankkee Well-Known Member

    687
    Nov 8, 2017
    The continuing crisis of the human virus
     

  3. MrBigglesworth

    MrBigglesworth Well-Known Member

    Jun 29, 2018
    Sometimes you can’t fix stupid
     
  4. CJsurf

    CJsurf Well-Known Member

    945
    Apr 28, 2014
  5. DawnPatrol321

    DawnPatrol321 Well-Known Member

    Mar 6, 2012
  6. CJsurf

    CJsurf Well-Known Member

    945
    Apr 28, 2014
    No, not my son. I got that picture while shooting a heat at an ESA contest in Cape May, NJ last year.
     
    DawnPatrol321 likes this.
  7. DawnPatrol321

    DawnPatrol321 Well-Known Member

    Mar 6, 2012
    Cool, his face is priceless!
     
    MrBigglesworth likes this.
  8. nopantsLance

    nopantsLance Well-Known Member

    Aug 15, 2016
    [​IMG]
     
    MrBigglesworth and Panhandler like this.
  9. nopantsLance

    nopantsLance Well-Known Member

    Aug 15, 2016
    His request approved, the CNN News photographer quickly used a cell phone to call the local airport to charter a flight.
    He was told a twin-engine plane would be waiting for him at the airport.
    Arriving at the airfield, he spotted a plane warming up outside a hanger.
    He jumped in with his bag, slammed the door shut, and shouted, 'Let's go' !
    The pilot taxied out, swung the plane into the wind and took off.
    Once in the air, the photographer instructed the pilot,
    'Fly over the valley and make low passes so I can take pictures of the fires on the hillsides.'
    'Why?' asked the pilot.
    'Because I'm a photographer for CNN’, he responded, 'and I need to get some close-up shots.'

    The pilot was strangely silent for a moment, finally he stammered,
    'So, what you're telling me, is . . .. You're NOT my flight instructor?'
     
  10. nopantsLance

    nopantsLance Well-Known Member

    Aug 15, 2016
  11. nopantsLance

    nopantsLance Well-Known Member

    Aug 15, 2016
    A college student wrote a letter home:

    Dear folks,

    I feel miserable because I have to keep writing for money.

    I feel ashamed and unhappy.

    I have to ask for another hundred, but every cell in my body rebels.

    I beg on bended knee that you forgive me.

    Your son,

    Marvin

    P.S. I felt so terrible I ran after the mailman who picked this up at the box at the corner.

    I wanted to take this letter and burn it.

    I prayed to God that I could get it back, but I was too late.

    A few days later, he received a letter from his father:

    Dear Son, Good news! Your prayers were answered. Your letter never came!
     
    smitty517 and MrBigglesworth like this.
  12. nopantsLance

    nopantsLance Well-Known Member

    Aug 15, 2016
    3 legged chickens

    A traveling salesman was driving down a back road out in the middle of NJ and there's a cloud of dust on the road that speeds past him and it resembles something like a chicken and he glances at his speedometer as notices he's doing 70mph,he shakes his head noway and follows the dust ball right up a farmers driveway,he cautiously gets out of his car and see's the farmer walking towards him , Good day sir I apologize if I'm bothering you however my curiosity got the best of me and I thought I just saw a chicken pass me down the road at 70mph and I followed it up your driveway,the farmer says Yes you did its a special 3 legged chicken I've been breading as an experiment ,you see my wife likes the breast meat the best and my daughter and son and myself we all like the leggs the best,so I said lets try and make a 3 legged chicken we tried many times and finally have one, Wow that's amazing says the Salesman and asks How Do They Taste? and the farmer says : Don't know aint caught one yet.....
     
  13. nopantsLance

    nopantsLance Well-Known Member

    Aug 15, 2016
    What do all battered women have in common?










    THEY DON'T LISTEN.
     
    Yankkee and smitty517 like this.
  14. La_Piedra

    La_Piedra Well-Known Member

    Oct 9, 2017
    Q. How do you get the dishwasher to work?

    A. Slap her.

    I'm going straight to hell, aren't I.
     
  15. DosXX

    DosXX Well-Known Member

    Mar 2, 2013
  16. nopantsLance

    nopantsLance Well-Known Member

    Aug 15, 2016
  17. ltif

    ltif Active Member

    27
    Nov 12, 2016
    And here i thought it was because they were all hooked up with infantile men who demand that everything in the world go exactly their way, and then punish the women when they don't get their f'in way. Waaaahhh!!.
     
  18. La_Piedra

    La_Piedra Well-Known Member

    Oct 9, 2017
    cool story bro
     
    MrBigglesworth likes this.