Update on Oregon

Discussion in 'Non Surf Related' started by The Incorrigible Steel Burrito VII, Nov 8, 2014.

  1. The Incorrigible Steel Burrito VII

    The Incorrigible Steel Burrito VII Well-Known Member

    Oct 19, 2014
    I used to live in Oregon, and I keep tabs on the place. 3 major things have changed:

    1. 10 Barrel brewing company sold out to Anheiser Busch or however you spell it. Get your Apocalypse IPAs off the shelf quick.

    2. They legalized weed. 4.5 down (Alaska, Oregon, Washington, Colorado, and Portland ME), 45.5 to go.

    3. Portland Oregon is the center of food carts, underground stand up comedy, and strip clubs. There are more strip clubs than any other patch of earth in North America. NOW SOMEONE IN PORTLAND OPENED UP A PREGNANT ONLY STRIP CLUB!
     
  2. metard

    metard Well-Known Member

    Mar 11, 2014

  3. jizwhale

    jizwhale Well-Known Member

    Oct 8, 2011
    My dad lives there and I've yet to go visit. I suck.
     
  4. EmassSpicoli

    EmassSpicoli Well-Known Member

    Apr 16, 2013
    They're not comparable to strip joints elsewhere though. It's like amateur night in each place. Portland OR is rad though.
     
  5. Sandblasters

    Sandblasters Well-Known Member

    May 4, 2013
  6. The Incorrigible Steel Burrito VII

    The Incorrigible Steel Burrito VII Well-Known Member

    Oct 19, 2014
    I dig the dive bars way better though. No make-up queens, but instead sexy hipster tattooed girls that look like some chick you used to @#*%, or some chick you're about to. The girls aren't all coked/methed out, and they're more accessible.

    There are some horrible joints that we would visit and play "Stripper Bingo". SB is a game we created where you each come up with your own list of notorious stereotype stripper/crackschlutt flaws, and whoever hits all theirs first wins. Example, visible c-section scar, scar on face, tattoo of latino guys name, tattoo of kids name, uneven hoots, girl who claims she is going back to college next semester, etc. I swear I won on the first girl once.

    I knew a stripper from out there whose last name was Love, and sheeet you not she married a guy from outta state whose last name was Cox so that she could be Love-Cox.

    None of these girls have thug boyfriends waiting in the parking lots, and at half of these schluttholes theres a pretty good chance you could take the bouncer.
     
  7. EmassSpicoli

    EmassSpicoli Well-Known Member

    Apr 16, 2013
    U2B is making a serious, albeit late, bid for ROTY14. metard, it was fortunate for your cause that you ended your disappearance this week. The comfortable lead started slipping quickly.
     
  8. mattybrews

    mattybrews Well-Known Member

    114
    Apr 14, 2013
    Whatever. Everyone's all got sand in their v's over 10 BBL getting bought out. Good for them. They get access to AB-Inbev's distribution network, money towards expansion, and still maintain full control over the brewery. It's happened to other breweries and has had both good and bad results. Give it time before you pass judgement.

    Besides, I bet most of you would do the same thing if you owned a business and the deal was presented to you.
     
  9. leetymike808

    leetymike808 Well-Known Member

    752
    Nov 16, 2013
    I've hooked up with a Oregonian stripper before. Good times. She is as described above.
     
  10. worsey

    worsey Well-Known Member

    Oct 13, 2013
    if you did go you could visit a pregnant only strip club.
     
  11. kidrock

    kidrock Well-Known Member

    Aug 1, 2010
    Agreed. Right up there with strippers from Idaho and Montana.
     
  12. The Incorrigible Steel Burrito VII

    The Incorrigible Steel Burrito VII Well-Known Member

    Oct 19, 2014
    Oh I would sell out in two seconds. And when all the haters were calling me a sell out, deservedly so, I would roll the window of my limo up so I couldn't hear them, and finish getting brain from two Portland strippers (pregnant or non), making it rain beer soaked $1 bills, and then fly to my own private island.

    Since nobody has offered me any money for my ideas and/or life's work (the latter being little more than alienation of others on a grand scale, excessive masturbation, and gluttonous indulgent narcissism), I will shortsightedly continue to hate anyone who reaps the rewards of discipline, smart business practices, and subsequent success, with a big ol Merican chip on my shoulder. Amen.

    I was in an improv group in Bend and 10 Barrel briefly sponsored the filming of a pilot that went nowhere. They were very cool about pissing money into a poorly managed idea. I am sincerely happy that they will retire off of beer someday. That being said, this message will self destruct in 4...3...2...1...
     
  13. kidrock

    kidrock Well-Known Member

    Aug 1, 2010
    I didn't "sell out"...I cashed in.
     
  14. mattybrews

    mattybrews Well-Known Member

    114
    Apr 14, 2013
    ^^^ Love it!
     
  15. leetymike808

    leetymike808 Well-Known Member

    752
    Nov 16, 2013
    [video=youtube_share;AEKbFMvkLIc]http://youtu.be/AEKbFMvkLIc[/video]

    Just had to do it!