"Welcome to paradise, now go to hell" by Chas Smith. Painful, man..

Discussion in 'Mid Atlantic' started by Tuono, Dec 19, 2013.

  1. cackedinri

    cackedinri Well-Known Member

    May 21, 2012
    who cares aboot da hui man we came hear to hate on this dude chas....anybody find some footage of him surfing yet?
  2. Tuono

    Tuono Well-Known Member

    Sep 13, 2012
    I am sure dude will be surfing in some designer trunks! If he has one redeeming quality that is he MUST be able to read his own fluff work and be aware how full of $h!t he is. Yet he goes on.
    NS has plenty of violence and localism but that book makes it all too crazy sounding- living on EC it all seems so high school. Some kid gets snuffed, some rich brats get chased...crime on EC is a lot more serious affair. Local sole gives you hard time in HI, you get shot at here.

    Remember when mid atlantic stand out Colin (of Wildlyfe, or WyldLife, or whatever is cool spelling) and Raven were catching bombs during offshore Sandy and some dude here was giving him a hard time for not paddling..and he got all Da Hui on him? Hhaha...like 'my friends wear black shorts, hommie! (actually, brah)'
    That was funny. Nothing like calling people out on a forum.

    You know what wasn't mentioned in that stupid book, at least from what I could stand reading? Brazilians.
    I mean they have this macho, simplistic, pack surfing mentality like NS locals so there must be getting along great. Especially since preferred method of Hawaiians (according to fudge packing writer) of attacking people is choking them, so with jiu jitsu thing there must be lots of love between those two groups. Of course, big bull****, traditionally Hawaiian didn't grapple or have rear naked chokes, and the ones practicing it today are mainly latest crop of haoles with enough cred to brand themselves 'local'.
    FWIW, I should say that I lived and worked there for years and really had no problems, I'd say...ever. But then again, I wasn't a *****y shred-the-gnar-bro but a working class kid.
    I would say that what surfing world lacks today, at least present in under scary double OH waves, is some normal, chill, people. Between Brazilian hordes, local dummies, hipsters with goddamn retro everything, brat-bros with new Tacoma's and stickers, there should be more regular people.
    Recently I met a hippie chick with dreads, wearing a weird dress and she told me she lived in HI, in a pretty remote place for couple of years (and just like my cousin, never surfed though lived walking distance from some nice breaks) and I told her she seemed cool and probably blended in easy. She was like 'oh no, they hated me at first...one guy who was probably from the mainland told me second day some stuff'
    I asked what she said ' he told me if he sees another broke i-wanna-live-off-the-land and came here with nothing person he is going to s$1t'. He told her: "why don't you bring some money..we are tired of hard core types that wanna come and prove something and sleep in the car...economy sucks, you wanna surf hang here, bring f-ing money not hemp.' We had a good laugh.

  3. zach619

    zach619 Well-Known Member

    Jan 21, 2009
    Dude, I drive a Tacoma =(


    Sep 17, 2013
    Tuono is on point, where did you live tuono? I know a lot of mouthy brazzos and a lot of regular folks here, I dont like hanging with brazzos' most are moneyed and douchie

    and there is only trouble if you become a paddle-around-johnny-cakes.

    and was it zach that said Cali has better waves? maybe a few days a month, but Hawaii has slabs, points, beaches and reefs, and they work much more consistently than many of the cali breaks, combine that with the wind patterns that create offshores much of the time for both south and north shore, you get seasonal great winds with the swells

    this place does have issues:
    1) generally poor
    2) not much western culture,(coming from phl and NYC area, I did enjoy museums and old buildings and the like) little eastern culture, but they are trying to preserve local culture (mormons are BLOWING it with the 'Polynesian cultural center' its like a sh!tty disneyland)
    3) expensive
    4) poor people plus expensive= crime

    1)trunks all day every day
    2) surf everyday
    3) 4 gardening seasons
    4) never freezes (most elevations)
    5) Brazilian cut bikinis
    6) girls in #5
    7) from what I have seen cops are rather relaxed (open beers all day at beaches and beach parks, no issues) compared to mainland pigs
    8) people generally are nice, smiles get smiles. I dont think smiles get smiles back in jerz all the time......they get 'whaddayoulooknat'
    9) 90% of the day is spend outdoors
    10) hiking nature birdwatching whale watching, snorkeling diving, rock climbing, etc is on point and great

    and I am sure I can live my life with never crossing paths with the folks the author seemed to tangle with. Seeing people in lineup is different than interacting with them on land. Makes for funny stories, but you have to be a wack job to actually consort with these people
  5. zach619

    zach619 Well-Known Member

    Jan 21, 2009
    Yeah, ill give you the offshore thing, but one could argue that 95% of the time, SoCal has completely dead wind, or variable wind below 5MPH, so some of our barrels arent as well groomed, but with dead wind all year and sheet glass conditions, no one in SD county is complaining, trust me. But as far as reefs, points and slabs. San Diego county alone is filled with all of the above. I mean, you can surf all of those mentioned without leaving La Jolla. Multiple slabs in LJ. Then you can LJ cove and blacks... that pretty much covers all of those all in a 6 mile stretch of beach....

    I am not trying to be a hater, southern SD county and everything north of Santa Barbara pick up all of the following: SW, SSW, W, WNW. NW NNW and if its not too steep, S....

    I am just saying, Hawaii has amazing waves, but if you want to live in one spot, and not have to drive more than 5 miles everyday to surf almost every day of the year, you can only find that in CA. Not HI.... If you live on the north shore, you have a boring 9 months of the year, no?

    We don't always get the insane heavy stuff in SoCal, but go up to Central and NorCal, and those swells pump just as hard....

    You guys have much more beautiful scenery, epic water temps, culture, the aloha spirit and all that, so what I will "guess" is that if you want to live the surfing lifestyle, from top to bottom, HI is probably a better call....

    But with all the novelties aside, if you want to strap on a wetsuit and surf consistent waves all year long, there is no place I would rather be than in California.

    These are just my thoughts, not the rule or the law.
    Last edited: Dec 30, 2013
  6. nynj

    nynj Well-Known Member

    Jul 27, 2012
    I agree with most of what you said except for the 9 months of boredom. It's more like 6 months. The waves don't start and stop when the pros are there. It's good on the North Shore from October to March.

  7. surfin

    surfin Well-Known Member

    Jul 22, 2012
    met fast eddie by chance , my buddy has lived across the street from him for many years , a photographer and editor for surfer and now kite world . Well one morning im walking back form sunset point , and I see this old guy struggling with a brand new bar b que . Trying to get it off of what I think was a lifted ford on 34s also a 4 inch body lift . so imagine eddie trying to get this thing off of the truck . watching him as I walk up , thinking in my head this guys going to have a brand new bar b que smashing him in the middle of the road . the truck was to high for him , looked kinda like a kid reaching for the cookie jar on the fridge . So I walk up and grabbed the other end without asking . being eddie, he ask me wat u doin ? in that raspy voice , with no face expression at all . it kinda dumb founded because I realized who he was . so I said it would be a shame if you smash your brand new grill and not even get to make a loco moco on it . so I figured I help out . so I help put it on the porch then went across the street to jb's house . As I reach the door , jb's at the door with a look of question in his face . What were you doing ? , I said trying to make a friend . Even got a cheese burger from the man . seemed cool , but I did see that he can be such a ****.


    Sep 17, 2013
    I dunno, I found SoCal to be clowney and crowded. NS has clowns in a way, but they aren't on parade the way they are in SoCal. The north shore has everything I said within a 15 min radius.....and even in the off season they still get more better waves than the east coast, last May had some head hi days (3 ft), a bunch of waist hi days......June July August might have some longboard waves at select spots (same as east coast) or just head one hour south to town and score even more breaks when south swells are pumping.

    And dont forget all the points slabs and reefs that fire on the west side with perfect winds and gets N and S swells
    If I was going to be in Cali, it wouldnt be Socal, you have to wait too long for real swell, between being tucked in and the islands, some spots wont break for years if the right angle doesnt happen.

    I get it, its good in its way, but I surfed Cali for three months and then a winter (6 month season) on north shore...HI is better than anywhere I have been. A close 2nd would be Ericiera in portugal, variety and consistency, I havent been but I bet Bali is unreal and some centro spots during prime season (Pasquales, Oaxaca(puerto) , but to say SoCal is better than HI seems like lack of experience. How much time did you spent here? did you explore? there is so much swell it is batty
  9. Tuono

    Tuono Well-Known Member

    Sep 13, 2012
    Zach, if your Tacoma is regular cab and any color other than silver, I am taking you off the list!:) It goes unmentioned you can't have Vol sticker, that trumps everything. BTW, I drive a Toy, too, but not a Tac.

    MakeIS, I lived on the west side and also went to Kaimuki. And then off and on HPU. Funny, but I never mention it while surfing here...I think people would look at me cockeyed first because I have a place to live in 808 that I moved and second, I think they would expect me to be at least as good as Jamie O., haha. But I am nowhere near that level. So, not to answer stupid questions or explain why can't I do 360's, I stay away.
    But I did go to school with kids that really could. And I found Pancho's mom really nice. And that's that..contrary to people's beliefs you can live on the rock and play sports and hardly surf at all.
    Here comes the real shocker...I really like surfing on EC, man. You're never going to get jaded, you can easily have a life and not be eaten with 'it's 6' and clean and I am here not there!' because it is not good all the time. In the colder conditions, you can be just about alone out...breaks are forgiving. EC is about hustling and working with what you got.
    That being said, I've surfed around CA and still have to say, in my opinion only, nothing comes close to HI if surfing is your only desire. Did you see that pic of Rincon going around recently? Beautiful, yah? take a closer look how many people are in the water...like hundreds! You can still get your wave(s) but, man...

    I got 11 and 12 pro for you, too...

    11) girls are nice... and hot. I donno where you guys live but it was an adjustment period moving east as far as that goes. What can I say, you got some ugly broads here, haha. Okay, I'm kidding, but woman are nice there. I should mention that it hardly did me any good while I lived in town as certain type of local girls wasn't overall really feeling me but at least nice to look at.
    After thinking of chicks I forgot what I had about 12. Probably food.

    Another con, your life can easily become very one-dimensional...
  10. stinkbug

    stinkbug Well-Known Member

    Dec 21, 2010
    There's a reason most pros and many surfers around the world spend their winters in Hawaii and not LA or San Diego.
    Yes it goes flat on the North Shore for a few months a year but unlike the Mainland you have 3 others coasts to explore. The south shore can get really good in summer as well as the east shore. And in winter when it's pumping on the NS there is no comparison to California...there are endless surf spots from mellow longboard waves to pumping barrels to giant outer reefs, tropical water, and perfect temps. Yes you can claim Ghost Trees and Cortez Bank (100 miles offshore) for California but how many people are actually surfing those spots? Very few. Californa has it's gems like Rincon, Blacks, Trestles, but the vast majority of the state is very average in the surfing world as far as waves.
  11. Pursuitofhappiness

    Pursuitofhappiness Well-Known Member

    Apr 28, 2012
    Keeping it real! You should write your own book :) It sure would be from a novel perspective: HI to EC--Finding your soul surfer in the midst of madness!! I'd read it. Be sure to include those elusive, but sensational days when there were pristine HH+bombs to surf, and bombs on the beach.
  12. Mulletbarrels

    Mulletbarrels Member

    Oct 14, 2013
    Alright, so I finished the book, and I've changed my opinion. It's a pretty good book, and worth the read if your even somewhat into surfing (and I believe we all are). Initially, half way through, I was just tired of hearing about Eddie Rothman. When you watch the contest's now you will have a good understanding of rivalries (in detail), and how each surfer got to where they are today (it's a change from the typical surfer soul searching story).


    Sep 17, 2013
    Tuono, I hear you on the one dimensional, I am doing everything I did on the EC, except less indoor time and surfing 5 times a week + instead of 3-5 times a month. Also, I can REALLY dig into the gardening year round. I do miss the phl art museum as wifey and I would go a few times a year, but honolulu has some attractions.

    and as far as chics go, there is an incredible amount of eye candy, I think that made them number 5 on my list. Its reasonable they get 2 slots. I am living about 6 min from sharks cove three tables area.

    Did you ever bodysurf on westside?
  14. zach619

    zach619 Well-Known Member

    Jan 21, 2009
    Only been there twice, so like I said, I only have opinions ya know. It was crazy though. I spend 2 full weeks in Maui and I travels to Hana and everywhere on the island. The west side got waist high one day and it was about chest high on the North side, so I drove up there. Hana was blown out and unsurfable... It just sucked for a 14 day trip, I couldn't buy waves. Never seen a flat spell like that in CA, even in the worst of Augusts... Maybe I was missing something, but I looked everywhere. It was just a strange time that had a pretty big lack of waves. It was the first half of september, so I was hoping to get some juice on the south side, but nothing was happening. Unlucky I guess. My wife sure was happy that it was flat =) .... I loved the place though for real... I also refused to visit Hawaii until I was almost 30 because I loved CA so much, I was always afraid if I went to the islands, that I may never come back, putting me 6000 miles away from Family instead of 3000.... Love the place though, I am just so used to CA and knowing where to go. I had it pretty dialed in, so I never really had any real long flat spells or anything. Even on a lake flat day, Blacks is waist to chest as the tide comes up.
  15. cepriano

    cepriano Well-Known Member

    Apr 20, 2012
    i just started reading this book and I must add its not bad lol.from my pov,its basically some mainlander talkin shyt about everyone that ever surfed in Hawaii,which I always like to read about other peoples problems,thats why im on here.so mick called chas a fukin jew,eddie slapped mick fanning afterwards,then beats up the billabong house and tries to buy meth.its like a juiced up seldom Christmas special,only its about Hawaii.

    it seems only professional surf editors/contractors have problems in Hawaii.i wouldn't say its worse than al queda in Lebanon,but pretty funny from an outside view.yea id say he overhyped the whole da hui situation,eddies a jew,but hes no mossad,therefore no need to be scared of an older slightly overweight jew.