What is the Kookiest Thing You've Ever Seen in the Water?

There was a kid in the break yesterday that was paddling in slow motion and popping up to stand on his boart...for no waves. He did it for over an hour.
Funny thing? His pop up was decent and he was “riding” imaginary waves without moving a foot.

 

This one has been posted in the past. Still get a kick out of it....

 

That guy didn't have his leashe properly tied... that's a real hazard... call Brad (the new sheriff in town)

 

It's been flat here for awhile, and yesterday my wife and I went to our local to sit under an umbrella and chill,and I planned on doing a decent swim on the high tide. Lot's of seaweed lately, tons of it. So we get down to the waterline and set up our chairs and cooler and umbrella and there is this big fat ass blonde in a tiny bikini with a rake, raking up the seaweed into nice little piles. She later said she was from Indiana, and moved here and this was her beach and she was gonna take care of it.

I'm looking at her figuring she's too fat to be a part of the local cabana service, and wondering what's her deal. It's hotter than hell out and she is sweating up a storm. So after a minute, she looks at me and says "You getting tired watching me work?" and like an idiot I acknowledge her and say yes. Soon she asks my wife if we have any water, so my wife gives her a Tervis tumbler full of ice and water and boom goes the dynamite, life story, medical history blah blah blah so I grab my goggles and go for a long swim, as her and my crazy wife were hitting it off famously.

I could only make it half way back against the current, and walked back the rest of the way, ran into some friends along the way, must have been an hour when I got back, and sure as shit she is sitting in my chair talking to my wife. Crazy lady offers me my seat back, and then my wife gives me the look and gets up and leaves me with her and takes a walk. She is now standing between me and the water raking seaweed againne. And talking about how last time she went to a doctor, her piss looked like coca cola.

So I asked her her name, she said Dee. I said, "Dee, I'm gonna be blunt now that my wife s not here. I don't want to hear any more medical stuff, and I like the seaweed where it is just fine. Go away. She shook my hand, said it was nice to meet someone who is honest, and kept raking seaweed, but at least she went up the beach and found some new victims.

 

Those ankle slappers must be really getting to you. Should have told her that she was raking up all the free food, and then given her a few fictitious recipes. How fat was she?

 

I was tempted to break out the harpoon LOL

Now I'm forced to go back to the scantily clad treadde to wash her out of my memory

 

Won't work, you know you'll see her again.
She'll be looking for something else to do, once all the seaweed is gone.
Save this and show it to her next time...

 

One of the more funnier ''Kooky'' things I've seen is when guys try and get in the water in May in just their shorts and no shirt. They bring their bort in and try paddling out in 50-55 degree water, without any suite and then 5 minutes later they're crawling out and basically look frozen. I'm not the only one who notices this, I've seen others post about it on here. It's always amusing to see.

I never noticed it much in October/November, when the water is still kind of warm, but the air isn't anymore.

 

ROFLMAO!! Fuckin harpoon!!!! Haaaaaahahahahahah

 

and boom goes the dynamite... LOL