What's the weirdest thing you've ever seen at the beach while surfing?

Great story. What's with your new groupie Yankee?

 

Was this the legendary "slow skater" of the 2000s? The one that cruises PB on roller skates, but does every movement in complete sloooooooooowwwwwww motion and gets uncomfortably close to all pedestrians?

 

I don't think I want to know the answer to that one, nat-k...

 

Watched some dude wreck his 34' Catalina by driving it into TOH breakers across the harbor entrance on a massive NW swell. Mast got smashed, boat got swamped and pushed back behind the breakwater where harbor patrol wrote him a nice fat ticket and called Sea-Tow to drag his swamped derelict back to the marina. Added some entertainment to that session.

 

I've seen this guy before.

The weirdest thing I ever saw was at Blacks on New Years Day this year. A guy had one of those camping toilets like this and was dropping a deuce



The weird thing was that he was doing this right next to the trail so everyone had to watch him. My friend Brian got the worst of it, as in his glance over he saw both log formation and made eye contact.

****ing Blacks.

 

Saw something pretty crazy. The local beaches allow on-leash dogs, but many people just let them run around off-leash. I've seen some really kick-ass training, like a German Shepherd which just sat like a statue for 2 hours and waited for his master to get done surfing.

Then there are the not-so-well-behaved dogs. I was a few dozen yards out yesterday, when I heard a commotion from the beach. Some dude was pushing a stroller along walking path and a pretty big (like 80lb) dog was yipping and barking and making false charges at him and the stroller. The guy is yelling at the dog to warn it off or something. Suddenly this guy reaches for something on the stroller and whips out this collapsible baton thing, raises it over his head, and starts wailing on the dog with it. I've never heard a dog yowl like that one did before beating a hasty retreat.

I didn't see what happened after that, if there was an owner or anything, because a set came in and the walk was empty the next time I looked. But I think that dude gets Father of the Year award for carrying a ****ing billy club on his kid's stroller. Awesome.

 

See Seldom, that is what I am talking about. I need to get me a billy club. This is the scenario I was discussing last week on here. If I am walking my dog, or more importantly MY CHILD and some poor dog with an irresponsible owner gets aggressive at my clan, I am going to smash it. And I love dogs. If a 80 pound dog started bucking at my stroller and I had a billy club, I would have laid the smack down, but waited for the owner to come back, then hit him in the knee with it.

 

No qualms with that dude. I always carry a knife. Got charged by a rottie once and knocked it out with a kick, felt bad, but had to do it. Actually got charged one night last week...funny b/c my buddy was with me and he vanished...didn't have to strike this time, but the dog saw me getting ready and took off. I have no delusions about the occassional brutality of nature, just that these shoot first cops are pu$$ies that don't know how to use their hands and feet. Trust me, I used to make them tap all da time.

 

I looked it up and there's all sorts of tactical gear for self defense. I think this guy had a telescoping baton. Maybe it was electrified. I was too far away to tell. My favorite of what I saw on Amazon is the million-volt zap cane. When I'm an even older crochety old d-bag, I'm gonna get one of those with a snake head and have the trigger be it's ruby eyes.

I'm gonna drop in on young punks and then call them out to the beach when they yell at me for it.

"I'ma teach you a lesson young whippersnapper."

"Yeah, sure thing, gramps, don't break your hip. What, you need that cane to stand up?"

ZAP ZAP!