Discussion in 'Mid Atlantic' started by LOSTsoul, Sep 2, 2010.

  1. wallysurfr

    wallysurfr Well-Known Member

    Oct 23, 2007
    Here you go. Email that's been going around my office. Pass it on.

    SUBJECT: Divorce Papers

    Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:

    We have stuck together since the late 1950's for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.

    Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

    Here is a model separation agreement :
    Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

    We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar and biodiesel. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell . You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.

    We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street . You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .

    You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

    We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology , Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

    We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

    You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We'll keep " The Battle Hymn of the Republic " and "The National Anthem." I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", " I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing ", "Kum Ba Ya" or " We Are the World ".

    We'll practice trickledown economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.

    Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.

    Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

    John J. Wall
    Law Student and an American

    P. S. Also, please take Ted Turner , Sean Penn, Martin Sheen , Barbara Streisand , & Jane Fonda with you.

    P. S. S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our country.
  2. ND081

    ND081 Well-Known Member

    Aug 7, 2010
    i've been avoiding this thread all week (i dont live in monmouth). it kept popping up so I finally decided to see wtf you guys were doing in here. and look what I find. communists.

  3. headrow

    headrow Well-Known Member

    Sep 2, 2007

    This is the perfect example of what wrong with politics. All or nothing. No compromise. Makes me want to puke. Why the hell are you posting this in a surf forum anyway? Keep that s*it outta here!
  4. leethestud

    leethestud Well-Known Member

    Aug 12, 2010
    Thats where you are wrong, and confused. I dont care how many babies you kill, what you worship, or how good your crack and meth are, but im not paying for any of it.

    All of this petty sh!t aside...

    Thank god we live in this great country where we have the LIBERTY to disagree. Now lets all quit b1tching and go surf, the offshores just kicked up and there are going to be waves soon.
  5. Ray F.

    Ray F. Well-Known Member

    Sep 13, 2009
    What time did you check?

    Sea Girt was easily 8 ft and breaking clean, but the beaches were all protected (although they weren't on duty just yet). I decided to paddle out on the south side of Lavallette around 8:00 am. It was super fun....for about an hour and a half. It started to close out will some decent hold-under times, so I tapped out.
  6. mOtion732

    mOtion732 Well-Known Member

    Sep 18, 2008
    do they plan on closing beaches tomorrow in that area?
  7. Ray F.

    Ray F. Well-Known Member

    Sep 13, 2009
    I have no idea, but I plan on going in the morning. There stands reason to believe the dude who got sucked out to sea from a Belmar beach may put the kabosh on surfing along the Monmouth County coast, though.
  8. mOtion732

    mOtion732 Well-Known Member

    Sep 18, 2008
    i'm going to try to be on it before sunrise. i doubt they'll be hassling ppl then.

    i thought that swimmer was in asbury?
  9. Ray F.

    Ray F. Well-Known Member

    Sep 13, 2009
    Wednesday, it was a swimmer in Asbury. Yesterday, it was a swimmer in Belmar. The TV news said he got sucked out from knee-high water!
  10. mOtion732

    mOtion732 Well-Known Member

    Sep 18, 2008
    did not see this..
  11. Scobeyville

    Scobeyville Well-Known Member

    May 11, 2009
    haha - Its payday and i got my PBA card. not worried
  12. windswellsucks

    windswellsucks Well-Known Member

    Oct 20, 2007
    it was in belmar. all day you can see the coast guard boat and 6 guys on the deck of it, driving up and down belmar looking for a floater. someones gonna paddle out and have a greeter! the guy in asbury already washed up on shore yesterday.

    PLZ stfu with the political bs. i do not care what is in your office or in your head, leave it to yourself you pompous self-serving fruitcakes
    Last edited: Sep 3, 2010
  13. JAMMAN

    JAMMAN Active Member

    Oct 30, 2007
  14. LOSTsoul

    LOSTsoul Well-Known Member

    Apr 29, 2009

    didn't you agree to change your name like a year and a half ago, after praising a nice short period wind swell............