In order to simplify things, I have combined every thread I've ever read on this board into one simple question.

Here goes.
What the best wetsuit to wear when you're surfing stoned at night after eating pizza with Gruvi during an overhyped hurricane swell and a stupid kook/benny- you know, that guy who relies on the forecast 'cause he's too f-in lazy to check the conditions himself - drops in on you, dings your board and you have to take a dump but don't have any baby wipes?